Decay Heat
by Lumi75
Summary: Takasugi harbors a grudge against Katsura for hounding him to change his ways. He confronts his ex-comrade 1 week after the Benizakura Arc - this time interruptions will not be tolerated. TakaZura & BanTaka. "Temporarily on hold"
1. Chp 1: Meeting

_**Summary: **Katsura Kotaro and Takasugi Shinsuke confront each other 1 week after the Benizakura Arc, with results neither expected._

_**Warnings: **YAOI**  
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_**Disclaimer: **All characters owned by Sorachi Hideaki. _

_**Notes:** Tsunpo is Bansai's alias. Okama means "drag queen". Bakufu refers to the corrupted shogunate government. For those not familiar with the Gintama world, the setting is Edo during the 1860s Meiji Restoration period mixed with present-day Tokyo.__  
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_**Dedicated:** To Orange-Maple! And special thanks to Lecidre!  
_

_**Beta'ed by:** xquisittexabie m(_ _)m_

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_Takasugi x Katsura  
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_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 1 : MEETING**_

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_Life doesn't betray you; You are Life__..._The Bakufu didn't betray us; we created the Bakufu...Shouyu-sensei wasn't betrayed by a foreigner, but by a traitor within. Nobody betrayed your love, Shinsuke; you're the one who rejected everyone walking on a different path from yours._ Choose another path, Shinsuke, one that doesn't lead to destruction. _

_Choose it, and I'll gladly meet you halfway._

_---+  
_

How ironic it took a transvestite businessman to teach me this humbling lesson. Mademoiselle Saigo: Height: 195cm. Weight: 101kg of pure muscle. Lifestyle: Okama.

"Now bow down to Mademoiselle Saigo and apologize!" I shoved my foot onto the back of the troublemaker who fell to his knees in front of the owner of Kabuki-cho's premier okama club. His two other companions quickly started to bow their foreheads again and again to the marble floor. I used to be just like that guy. When I first met Saigo at the ramen restaurant, I immediately called him a "freak." Boy was I forced to eat my words. But thanks to his teaching, I've become much more open-minded.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Why should I forgive you?" Mademoiselle Saigo growled, biceps bulging imposingly under his kimono as he folded his arms and drew himself to his full height. Underneath the geisha make-up, the square jawed warrior looked as fearsome as the day he single-handedly crushed 200 Amanto during the alien invasion. If this "lady" wanted to kill you, there was pretty much nothing you could do.

"Spare me! I'll never insult another okama again in my entire life!" The troublemaker begged.

"Forget it! I'm not letting you off so easily! You'll have to work for a month in our shoes to pay for the damage you caused to our self-image! Ladies, take them away to the changing room!" He stabbed his index finger at the three offenders and a trio of my colleagues appeared and dragged the pathetic men away for their punishment. I grinned somewhat sheepishly. Even I, Katsura Kotaro, leader of the Joi movement and a gentleman sworn to live by the highest principles, had been guilty of the same intolerance. Compared to my own samurai lifestyle, the okama have hardly disturbed the peace of Edo. Yet I judged them as shameful and perverted. Only now, after a month of mandatory cross-dressing, do I truly see them as they are: fellow members of the male species who simply enjoy playing the role of the opposite sex! Okaaay…. I still don't find them aesthetic. But abnormal? Freaks? No! …how can I? Not when I see them bravely leading a warm and colorful life in the face of social discrimination. Such a soul is truly beautiful beyond that of a man or a woman!!

I turned to Saigo, wryly said. "Why can't we develop empathy without the use of brute force?"

"A little tenderness doesn't hurt." He laughed. "Provided you carry a big katana. A very big katana."

Two young men dressed in grey business suits walked up to Mademoiselle Saigo. The first guy took off his sunglasses and politely introduced himself as an associate of Tsunpo. Saigo raised his thick eyebrows, impressed. The associate passed him his cell, indicating that Tsunpo was on the line. After some small talk, Saigo exclaimed. "Zurako? You're inviting Zurako to the boat party?" He threw me an astonished glance. Zurako was my okama nickname. After a few more moments, Saigo hung up and passed the phone back to the associates, who bowed and went outside.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"You mean you don't know who Tsunpo is?"

I shrugged. "No, should I?"

Mademoiselle Saigo looked calculating as he scratched his permanent five o'clock shadow. "Well, he is a respected figure in the entertainment industry. A famous music producer and songwriter. You know Otsu? Edo's newest pop sensation? All her hits were written by him."

"Impressive."

"Yeah, but it's odd because he doesn't frequent our circles. However, he heard about our nightclub and apparently, he was impressed by your performance on the shamisen."

"Shamisen? I'm but an amateur."

"You're very talented at it, even I said so. Anyways, Tsunpo said he was auditioning for a pair of shamisen-playing femmes for a tentative project. Some retro-style album. So he set up a boat party tonight for prospective musicians to mingle. You've been invited."

"Femme? But I'm a guy."

"What do you mean, okama don't count as females?"

"Mademoiselle! Surely we're beyond such distinctions?" I said diplomatically. "But of course I can't go to the party. I have to do the fan dance at midnight."

"Zurako! I'm giving you the night off." Saigo grinned and clapped me on my back. "Tonight might be your lucky break! This might be your chance to cut a record deal and become Edo's new shamisen sensation!" He laughed. "This is Tsunpo we're talking about. Do you know how many young musicians line up in front of his studio door just begging for 5 minutes of his time? But he never sees them; he has the reputation of being a reclusive genius." I hesitanted. Saigo thinks I'm a vagrant ronin. But I'm really a full-time Joi revolutionary posing as an okama to escape the intense heat imposed by the Shinsengumi following the bloody aftermath of the Benizakura Battle. Even though dozens of our comrades sacrificed their lives to protect Edo from Takasugi's rampaging Kiheitai, our contribution went unrecognized. I was still a wanted terrorist who could ill-afford public exposure of any sort…

"I'd rather not."

"Aww, just go for it, Zurako. Go see what's up, you can always say no if you're not interested. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I'll kick your ass if you don't give it a chance."

I still hesitated. Saigo started pushing me towards the exit. "Go…just…go. Don't be nervous, this guy is 100 percent legit. His 2 associates are waiting outside to drive you to the party."

"Okay then." I guess there was no harm in showing up. What were the odds of bumping into the Shinsengumi at a random boat party? Besides, I was in disguise. "Thanks for the break. I'll represent the okamas for you."

"Represent!" Saigo cooed, punching up a formidable fist.

---+

I got into a red and black Maserati and cruised towards the Harbourfront, which was deserted at this time of night. The car then swerved into a forested park and crunched along the gravel path for another 15 minutes before breaking through the woods. We stopped next to a deserted warehouse sea opened out inky blue before us, glimmering softly under the faint moonlight. The sickle-shaped moon was well past its last quarter and on its final stage of decay. Tomorrow, there would be no moon, simply a void in the sky. All was completely silent and eyes drank in the pristine colors...it's been a while since I've seen the night sky untainted by sodium-orange streetlamps or obnoxiously blinking neons. What a pleasure, even if this was not the most pleasant of August nights. The air was suffocating hot and saturated by the sweet, sickly exhalations of decomposing autumn leaves. Tall clouds billowed sluggishly across the sky, anticipating a thunderstorm that refused to break. I had to admit though, the effect of an iridescent halo formed by the clouds drifting across the moon was both delicate and magical.

We walked for another 10 minutes through the silent streets. Occasionally, the wind would bring a bushel of dead leaves that cart-wheeled across our path. My ears pricked up at the sound of loud, trashy J-pop seeping out of headphones. Waiting at the corner of a warehouse was a tall, well-built young man with long leather jacket, spiky J-rock hair and narrow shades. A shamisen was strapped to his back and he was bopping his head while scribbling something into a notebook. Behind him stretched a wooden platform leading out to the sea. A medium-sized houseboat was parked at the end of the dock. The light of a single candle could be seen flickering through the shoji screens.

"Tsunpo-sama. Zurako is here." So this was Tsunpo? He was younger and fitter than I imagined. In fact, there was something dangerous in his cool, self-absorbed aura that made me distrust looked up with a slight smile on his handsome face. "Glad you could make it, Zurako." He nonchalantly cocked his head in the direction of the houseboat, hummed "La-la-la" and walked off, clearly expecting me to follow him. I frowned. He was too informal for my taste. Besides, there should be more noise and more people than that. I looked at my escorts, who bowed and departed without a word.

Tsunpo looked back and pushed up his headphone from one ear. "Sorry, did you say something?"

"Why is it so quiet? Didn't you say you were hosting a function?"

Tsunpo hit the pause on his player and stared at me for a moment. He smirked. "Your tune resembles….Chitose Hajime singing "Katari Tsugo Koto" at the closing credits of the anime BLOOD+. No wonder he finds it so lovely."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I changed my mind. I'm just auditioning the two of you tonight. You and Tako-chan. Since I'm planning on producing something in the new age/electronica genre, you know, with freestyle poetry in the background… I thought a more…contemplative atmosphere would be fitting. I hope you don't mind the last minute changes…"

"So how long will the audition take?"

"That depends on your compatibility with Tako-chan."

I had a bad feeling about this whole thing. But Mademoiselle Saigo was one of the 4 "Pillars" of Kabuki-cho and he had vouched for Tsunpo. Perhaps he was really just as eccentric and reclusive as rumor had it. Besides…I knew my friends Gintoki and Elizabeth would do anything for me if I needed help. Still…

"I see. In that case I'll have to inform Mademoiselle Saigo of the change in schedule. Do you mind if I borrow your cell?"

"Easy breezy… Japanesy…" he dialed Saigo's club and casually passed the cell over.

"Zurako? What is it? Is something wrong?" Saigo's deep voice sounded concerned. I felt a little stupid for being paranoid.

"No, I'm at Tsunpo's houseboat now, there's only one other girl at the audition. So I don't think I'll take very long. I should be back before closing time."

Saigon boomed with laughter. "HAHA. I see you are getting cold feet! GABETE. I will always support you!"

I grimaced. "Alright. See you later, save some sake for me."

"Pass the phone to Tsunpo, I want to say something to him."

Tsunpo grinned at whatever Saigo said. "You want me to send him back if it gets too late? 'Course I can, but that depends on him...haha…if you know what I mean." He snapped his cell shut and started descending the rusted, barnacle-encrusted steps which led into the steps rang with a hollow metallic sound, and the warm pungent scent of the humid autumn sea seemed to permeate through my clothes and cling to my skin. When I hopped onto the prow of the boat, the deck swayed slightly under my weight. I soon got used to the gentle rocking movement of the untied the ropes and the boat began to drift away from the dock. He fired up the engine which purred a lot more stealthily than I would have expected. The motor sent out a cascade of foamy white spray which rapidly propelled us away from the shore. The glow of the city lights faded and everywhere was swathed by inky blue night. No escape now…I found myself thinking. But hey, Tsunpo doesn't know you're a Joi rebel. Why would he want to harm you?

Tsunpo walked to the shoji door of the main cabin and slid it aside using the black lacquer handle. The interior bloomed with flickering shadows, like the surface of a paper lantern. The light source came from behind the shoji wall leading to the opposite walkway. The silhouette of a geisha knelt there, patiently holding a shamisen. She bowed ceremoniously when we entered but did not say a word.

I was awed by the exceedingly tasteful interior, evoking memories of my childhood spent in an ancient Japanese temple school. The wood was fine-grained with age and gave off a soft, soothing texture. The paper was warm, pliant and soundless. The perfectly proportioned alcove and smoky dark ceiling were resplendently enveloped in shadows. Tsunpo and I sat down at the only furniture in the room, a low square table arranged with four sandy cushions. A charcoal brazier set beside the table glowed cherry red, heating up a pot of water in which soaked a decorated flask of sake. Fragrant fumes wafted through the cabin. We were lulled by the lapping of the waves, the salty breath of the sea, the silky walls softly blooming with the flickering candle light…which pulsed at the occasional currents of the night breeze. However, it was very hot. Sweat began to form all over my body. We really should be opening the shoji doors to let the breeze in. But I guess my host knew that as well as I did. I'll just have to bear it for now. Luckily, I was not wearing any face powder despite posing as an okama. I hated that stuff. The only concession I made was to wear a light layer of iridescent-green lipstick and pink eyeshadow.

There was one saucer-like sake cup on the table and Tsunpo started pouring the sake. "Enjoy…" he indicated. I just politely declined. Traditionally, it was a sign of friendship to share sake, but I wasn't comfortable doing so with a complete stranger. Tsunpo smirked but he didn't seem to really care. Neither did he touch the cup.

"First, Tako-chan will play a piece." He explained. "You create a poem. Then she'll pass the shamisen to you. You play a piece and she makes up a poem. I'll just listen and get inspiration. Go ahead, relax and express yourself! This is supposed to be fun and lighthearted, nothing will be recorded tonight."

Suddenly, Tsunpo's cell buzzed. He flicked it open and read the message with an air of satisfaction. "Oops, something just came up. I'm terribly sorry but I have some phone calls to make. Forgive me, Zurako…" He clapped his hands. "Tako-chan! The mic is all yours!"

Tsunpo bowed, I bowed, and the silhouette of Tako-chan bowed. Tsunpo left the room and the sliding door slid close. I heard the door to the back cabin slide open and close.

Tako-chan struck a single note on the shamizen. I frowned. It was exceedingly familiar. The strains of an ancient samurai melody were evoked as if out of the depths of my own heart. That! It can't be! That was first song we were taught by Shouyou-sensei… . I couldn't help feeling inadvertently bonded to this stranger behind the screen. I listened strings were plucked a little too heavily for my taste, but the intensity was compelling. Each note was pitch perfect and the timing immaculate. Even more than that, there was a real experience of bittersweet love. Whomever this geisha was, she definitely had the x-factor of a good shamisen player. Even the way she held the instrument was a little unusual, in fact a little wanton, if you ask me. But it was perfectly controlled.

I began thinking about how I had changed after living in Edo. I still had clear plans to reform the corrupt Bakufu…but if I really think about it, the real reform I have achieved has been with my own life. Yes, I now realized that it was the small things that I do for my friends that make me really happy. In fact, because they can be harmed by riots and terrorist bombings, I have virtually stopped doing so. I want to reform Edo, but only in a way that will not cause misery for my friends.I thought of all the important people in my life…Gintoki, Kagura and Shinpachi, Elizabeth and my loyal Joi comrades, Saigo and the okamas and especially Ikumatsu who made me feel a special kind of affection. I even respected the Shinsengumi for their efforts at maintaining peace in Edo. I shook my head. To be honest with myself, I could no longer place the cause of the Joi movement above their welfare. My hands clenched and I slowly raised the tips of both palms to cover my lips. Poetry came unbidden to my mind.

- - - - - -

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_Like a cooling flow_

_Soothing my soul_

_My persistent goal_

_Edo's peace will grow_

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_- - - - - -  
_

Tako-chan's body quivered. A deep, masculine laughter burbled menacingly from the depths. That voice!

_Takasugi Shinsuke!_

How can this be? Tsunpo and – It's a set-up! I stood up and reflexively reached for my katana, which of course wasn't there. In a flash, I whipped out my kaiken and pointed the gleaming steel blade towards the screen. If it really was Takasugi, then no two ways about it:

_I will cut you down. _

The night was utterly silent. Tsunpo did not leave his cabin and I figured there was hardly a chance that he would sneak up behind me. Knowing Takasugi, he probably wanted our confrontation to be one-on-one so that he could have the satisfaction of a personal victory. Even as a child, he was fanatical about proving his personal strength. He always had to be the winner, whether by words or fists. During our clash over the Benizakura, I tried to persuade him to change his ways. Since he could never admit his mistakes, the vindictive man must have taken that as an insult and lured me here to exact his revenge. But I felt nothing. I was no longer a goddamned idealist when it came to Shinsuke, how could I when he has tried to murder me more than 3 times in the past year? Yet for the longest time, I clung to a vain hope that my childhood friend was fundamentally good.

_I was wrong._

The person put down his shamisen, took off his hairpiece and rose up with dignified slowness. He was of medium build, slim and compact. He lifted his left hand and slowly began rubbing his chest. The shadow of his arm merged into the silhouette of his loosely knotted yukata. The thin material billowed out, flapping in the breeze.

He replied to my poem in a deep, powerful tone. My blood froze.

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_Inflamed by passion my comrades fell_

_Justice is a feeble spell_

_Hate penetrates and invades_

_Edo will burn in hell!_

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_You beast! I already warned you, I will never let you harm Edo! _ I pulled back my kaiken to fling it through the screen. _Good-bye, Taka –_

The shoji screen was shoved aside with a clatter and Takasugi elegantly leaned back against the doorframe. The sickle-shaped moon hung low beside his head, its bleached-white light shattering apart a column of glinting wavelets leading into the darkness. When I saw his familiar figure shrouded in inky blue shadows, I could not unleash my killing blow. Perhaps because he was obviously unarmed and mockingly slouched with his guard down. Perhaps because of his immense confidence that we still shared a deep bond despite his betrayal. Most of all, his scheme to bring me here using Tsunpo had too many loopholes to be an assassination attempt. He had an ulterior motive and I decided to hear him out. I lowered my kaiken a little, but continued to point it at him.

"Takasugi, don't waste my time."

Knowing that I was open to negotiations, Takasugi chuckled. He took out his pipe and began to fill it with tobacco, the action revealing a large swathe of his bare chest. I frowned. Takasugi dressed so provocatively, revealing too much flesh. Looking at him now, you would never guess that he used to be such a strikingly meticulous dresser when he was younger. But his hair was the same… dark, thick and slightly curling, always looking wild and unbrushed, yet he always gave the impression of carrying himself with powerful poise, like that of a coiled snake about to strike. Like a snake, his small pupils could be piercing and reptilian. But tonight, as he lit up his pipe, his right eye was like a deep, dark and brilliantly shining pool. The other eye was swathed in linen bandages that ran across his forehead.

With sensual calmness, Takasugi lifted his long stemmed pipe away from his lips and blew out a bluish wisp of smoke. Then he turned and fixed me with a seductive smile.

"Put your kaiken away, Zura," he said in a velvety voice, "You're hurting my feelings."

"You're making me feel…_betrayed_."

_To be continued…_

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_My first Gintama fic. _

_Please review because reviews are love. :)  
_


	2. Chp 2: Fighting

Summary: Who betrayed who? Takasugi justifies himself for selling out Katsura and Gintoki to the Harusame during the Benizakura Arc.

A/N: The idea that Takasugi enjoys Katsura's dark looks is from Lecidre. Thanks Metamorcy for her advice on editing. Beta'ed by xquisittexabie. :)

AU: I invented the fact that Katsura comes from the aristocracy and had a gorgeous fiancé to emphasize his "perfection".

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**_DECAY HEAT _****_CHAPTER_****_ 2 : FIGHTING_**

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_FLASHBACK_

For a long time, I considered myself lucky. As a member of the noble Katsura family, my fiancé was chosen for me when I was 3 years old. Everyone thought we made a perfect couple. I was tall, gentlemanly and refined. She was pure, graceful and submissive. When we displayed our wedding portrait in our ancestral mansion, it looked picture perfect. A week later, I left home to fight in the Joi War. That's when I realized what was missing in _my perfect relationship._

I couldn't fight with her.

If I couldn't fight with her, then I couldn't feel close to her. And If I didn't feel close to her, then I couldn't fall in love with her.

This may have something to do with Takasugi Shinsuke.

My childhood had been spent sparring with him, arguing with him and protecting my juniors from being bullied by him. Maybe it wasn't "bullying", because he never picked on the small and weak. He preferred to fight against bigger, stronger guys who seemed almost impossible to beat. He said he fought in "retaliation", and I could usually see a reason for his anger, but his viciousness went too far, even inspiring his gang of "subordinates" into worse stuff. Sometimes I wondered just how sensitive he must be to be easily angered like that, and I felt like giving him a big hug. But as a member of the nobility, I had very strong views on obedience and zero tolerance for anarchy. That's why I always ended up clashing with him. And no one emerges unscathed from a fight with Takasugi.

He always fought like it was "do" or "die". He didn't just want to defeat his opponent but to crucify him. Only the thought of protecting my friends enabled me to forget my fear and stand up to Takasugi. One day, when we were 12, I scolded Takasugi. His face turned dark red and he stood frozen as silent tears rolled down his face. _I didn't mean to hurt you,_ I felt like saying. _But you went too far, someone had to stop you_…at the same time I was shivering in fear and I realized I couldn't disrespect his feelings without dangerous repercussions. Soon afterwards, he "retaliated" on me, tearing apart all my long-cherished ideals. I ran a high fever, too humiliated to go to class for 3 days while I replayed his attack in my mind. Was I really an opinionated, stuck-up snob like he accused? Who was he to say? I was the one who respected people and followed the rules of society. In contrast, Takasugi just did whatever felt right to him. When other people talked behind his back he didn't seem to care. But when it came from my lips he crucified me.

I finally concluded: Justice for me meant fairness. Justice for Takasugi meant an eye for an eye. Seems similar, doesn't it? But this slight difference sent us irrevocably down different paths. For me, everyone was equal before the law. For Takasugi, only the select few mattered and everyone else could go to hell. He wasn't dubbed the "Black Beast of Edo" for nothing.

In the end though, the more we clashed, the closer we got. The closer we got, the more I liked him –_ No!_ scratch that…I never liked Takasugi. How could I be friends with such an egomaniac?! It was only because I became so used to fighting him that if a single week passed without any disturbance, I would get an odd feeling of sadness, as if my best friend had started ignoring me…That night after Takasugi sold me out to the Harusame, I had not been able to sleep. It was as if the fire he intended to unleash on Edo began burning me instead. Worst of all, I had already seen it coming for the past 5 years. I knew about him secretly training an army in the countryside of Kyoto, I knew about the assassinations he carried out through the Kiheitai and his underground deals with the Amanto. I should have blocked him, but I was in denial. I didn't believe he would hold his personal need for revenge above the welfare of Japan.

But I was wrong.

That day on the bridge, just before the festival started, we argued again. There was a pause in our conversation. When I looked at him again, I caught his eye a second time. They were softer now, as if he was thinking about our past. Beneath the intensity, there gleamed a hint of pain. I felt like reaching out and holding his shoulder. Then I flushed slightly, wondering what had gotten into me. Takasugi gave me a cold stare and walked away. _And he knows how I feel. _Instead of confronting each other, we could be working together to rebuild Edo. _He just likes to see the expression on my face when he frustrates my dreams._For two nights after my betrayal during the Benizakura Battle, I couldn't sleep. I felt like crying, killing someone or just going insane. I summoned a general meeting and commanded that if Takasugi assassinated me, then so be it. Our energies were better spent fighting the Bakufu Dogs, not other Joi Factions. The sake of my country took precedence over my life."Is that clear?""_Hai…_" my men grumbled. I read doubt on their faces. I wondered if they could really rein in their pain and grief if I died. Heck, if it was so easy to act reasonably, then I wouldn't be going insane from my murderous urge to destroy Takasugi. I really wasn't myself. I was becoming a black beast, torn apart by a tsunami the color of crude oil…set on fire. _I want to kill him_, I realized. But I forced the thought away, shaking my head.

No, I really wasn't myself, haven't been myself for days.

Why not think of something light-hearted? I left the Joi hideout and disappeared down Kabuki-cho. My footsteps unconsciously led me to Mademoiselle Saigo's okama club, where I had once worked as a hostess. I grinned wryly as I remembered the sense of freedom I felt during those days. I wouldn't mind doing it again… I needed the distraction.I sat down at the bar, still angry. "Give me anything with alcohol, wait…beer would do, I'm lousy at holding my sake… what kind of beer? Anything! Whatever, I don't care." I saw a mug of dark foamy liquid being placed before me. I frowned at its foul black color. To add fuel to fire, the radio suddenly started playing a rendition of the classic shamisen track _Tsugaru Jongara Bushi._ The music brought a wave of unwanted memories.

"What the hell is this?" I demanded rudely and the bartender cringed.

"G-Guinness...sir."

I tasted it and it wasn't just bad. It was heavy, dark and bitter. _Heavy,_ _dark_ and _bitter_ like my hate for Takasugi. I couldn't help it. I slammed my fist on the table making the mug and bartender jump. Then I blurted out, "_Freak!"_ I was physically dragged up by the collar and suspended in the air by a muscular warrior. "M-Mademoiselle Saigo!" I squeaked, hoping he was still my friend. "Oh, its you, Katsura. You and Gintoki did us a huge favor last time, but nobody, I mean _nobody_ gets away with being rude in my club. Have you forgotten your punishment or are you looking for an encore performance as Zurako?"

Perfect idea.

"Yes." The club was a great place to escape both from the Shinsengumi heat and from…myself. While my men recuperated from their physical wounds, I hoped to rid myself of my own…wild mood swing. Mademoiselle Saigo looked concerned. "What's the matter, Katsura? You look awful. Girlfriend just broke up with you?"

I could only stare at him in pain. I really wasn't myself at all.

_I wanted to kill Takasugi._

---+

_THE PRESENT_

"Put that kaiken away, Zura. You're making me feel… _betrayed_."

"How dare you say that, when you're the one who betrayed Gintoki and I?"

Takasugi smirked. "Don't expect me to apologize for selling you out. I did that on purpose, to punish you and your faction for slacking off on the Joi movement."

"You…!"

"Zura…" He drawled out my name teasingly. "Don't forget that we're in the middle of the Inland Sea. It's also 2 against 1. If you attack me, you'll never get home alive. Now that would be such a waste, wouldn't it?" He shifted his posture casually, bringing the pipe close to his lips again. "Considering a large number of your comrades recently sacrificed their lives to rescue you?"

_Damn you, Takasugi!_ His question almost brought tears to my eyes. I was still grieving for the death of 33 of my comrades and it took all my self-control to maintain my cool front. As if reading my mind, he calmly added, "By the way, how many casualties did you suffer?"

"Both of us took equal – and equally needless – damage." I stared at him in hatred.

"No, not equal. For the Kiheitai to suffer a draw like that counts as an embarrassing defeat. I underestimated the fanaticism of your troops, they fought like demons to rescue you…"

My heart twisted. "I never wanted them to come. I already knew how foolish it was to try and persuade you."

"You already knew that?" Takasugi voice was barely audible and he lifted his chin, lips parting with a satisfied curl.

"I've always known that. Your opinions will never change." _How could I not know that? _Takasugi smiled, he liked hearing that.

"But you still came to seek me out…_.alone_."

I shrugged. "Acting alone was simply the most efficient route."

"Really? So how come you still split from your troops after they rescued you? That made me wonder …did you expect something special to occur if we met…_alone_?"

Anger flared. "If we were _alone_, Takasugi, I expected that you'd be able to drop your damnable pride, just for one moment, and listen to reason!"

"Reason? What did you think would give me a reason to change…?_You?"_

I gritted my teeth. "I never asked you to change. Who am I to say? But there are limits to everything in this world. And that includes you. If you can't set limits to your own ambition, then I will set them for you. I will never allow you to hurt the ordinary people of Edo in your urge to destroy the Bakufu."

"Ordinary people, Zura? And how many of these ordinary people have you killed in the name of terrorist bombings?"

I bowed my head in shame, for I too, was once guilty of the same violent strategies that Takasugi preferred. It wasn't a personal thing. Creating chaos, spreading terror and inciting hate was just part of a terrorist's job. I mean, how else do you expect to bring about the death throes of a corrupt ruling system? At that time, I believed that the sacrifice of a small number of innocents for the greater good was…acceptable. _Not anymore though._ "Yes, I admit it. But that was before…I was so driven I could see nothing at all…"

"So we're alike."

"No. Not anymore. I can't do it anymore. It's not right."

"What's not right?"

"It doesn't feel right."

"You? Feel…" he laughed menacingly.

"The war is over, Takasugi. It's over!" I sheathed my kaiken and replaced it into my kimono, feeling the cold metal against my breast, trying to make a point, but simultaneously wondering how soon I might have to point it at him again."Things were different when we fought the Amanto. If we fell in battle, we don't expect anyone to come to our rescue. Those days, we would sacrifice a battalion so that another could gain victory. Those days…" I felt emotional as I looked at Takasugi's bandage. I saw his lips press into a thin line and he looked away from me into the sea. The sky was a darker blue and the waves seemed rougher than an hour ago. Above the horizon, the clouds clumped together like mountains, waiting for the storm to break.

After all, Takasugi sacrificed his eye for those days. Our group served as the decoy to allow the army to gain the greater victory. Many comrades were killed, but without our sacrifice, the tide of the battle would never have turned, and everyone would have died. The man who thought of that desperate strategy and volunteered to lead it was Takasugi. No matter how cruel he seemed, he had nobility and courage to carry out jobs too ruthless for others to do, yet had to be done. That was something I can never erase from my heart.

"So you gave up the fight."

"Never! But there are many options for a Joi who wants to reform Edo."

Takasugi casually walked into the cabin and sat crossed-legged at the table. "Go on, Zura," he said, looking at me expectantly. He liked listening to others, to find out what they were thinking without revealing his own thoughts.

"Some of which are peaceful…" I continued, watching him from my standpoint. I folded my arms.

Takasugi rubbed his face musingly with one hand and chuckled. "You're just like _them_, _all of them._ Gone to the other side. So there's only me left, and I'm the bad guy. Okay, go your own way…" He made a sweeping gesture. "Bear with another thousand years of injustice. Or we can change the world together." He held out his palm like a blade. "Right here, right now. Not to suffer in silence for another hundred years, but to change everything within our lifetime. In 5-no, 3 years…we can recreate Edo." His outstretched fingers clenched into a fist and his tone intensified with passionate determination. I shivered. Takasugi could be compellingly charismatic when he spoke about war. On some level I believed in it too. After all, I was a samurai by profession.

"But think about it, Shinsuke, who created the Bakufu? Look at the bigger picture, and you'll see that all of us are guilty. If we don't change ourselves, we'll just replace the Bakufu with another tyrannical structure. That's why you should consider what everyone wants, not just yourself."

Takasugi reached forward and picked up the sake saucer with his right hand, raising up his right leg and rested his elbow on it. The movement made the lower flap of his yukata ride up his thigh, revealing the pale skin of his bare leg disappearing into the shadows. Not wanting to see what was hidden underneath, I averted my eyes. Takasugi didn't catch my look, as he had lowered his head to sip from the saucer. "Well, I used to think we were a part of a group. Not a big group, since so many of us are dead now, but we were comrades, you, me, Gintoki, Sakamoto…I don't think it's necessary to name the others. But you betrayed me."

"No one betrayed you, Shinsuke." I stated softly.

Takasugi's deep voice was stern with conviction. "Edo could have been ours by now, if we had stuck together and attacked the Bakufu right after the surrender, just like I suggested. But fine, everyone wanted to go home. Ok, now five years later, I'm ready to attack again, and you and Gintoki block my way. If that's not betrayal, then what is?"

"Don't reject us, because we believe in a different path from yours." I frowned, patience being tested. We seemed to be talking in circles.

"What?! Remember we said we're not stopping until the Bakufu burns in hell? You guys deserted me!"

"Okay, Takasugi…." I warned seriously. "Stop wasting my time. If you want to hurt the people of Edo, then I have only one answer for you." I pulled out my dagger again and pointed it at him. Takasugi's face lit up, delighted. He stood up and headed towards me. Danger brought out the best in him or should I say, black beast within him. He continued moving closer, but I refused to back down. _Will this be our end? Comrades killing comrades?_ Since the first moment I fell into Takasugi's trap, I had prepared to die. I wasn't afraid to wake up the next day in Jetavana Grove or the Pure Western Land or wherever the Shinto Scriptures suggested. I didn't believe in them the way I believed in calculus…especially this equation right here, right now.

Takasugi x Katsura equals to WAR.

Takasugi stopped two inches from my blade. I could feel, underneath his cool air of superiority, the body heat radiating hot and smoldering. I smelled his strong, earthly scent which reminded me of a field of grass basking under the noonday sun. It was too heavy for my taste, yet I felt oddly comforted, even magnetized. In the dim candlelight, his complexion was smooth and his lips were moist. The flush in his pale skin bloomed against the whiteness of the bandage, awakening me to the fact that we were both young men despite the way the Joi War matured our minds. I thought about the 12 year old Shinsuke. I remembered how the color of his eyes were dark brown, almost black. They stared at me with a steady intensity I had never seen in anyone else's eyes...like two dark stars.

But his words made me blush in surprise. He chuckled under his breath and said, "How I missed that look on your face when you argue with me. Your cheeks turn red, your voice grows all emotional, your face looks like you're about to cry. It's so pretty…"

"S-shut up!" I cursed hotly to cover up my nervousness. I glared at him and found a fearless, attentive look pinned on me.

"Truce? Just for one hour? I've broken up with the Harusame, so I don't have a reason to attack you…should you stay out of my way." He said gently.

"Only if you promise not to hurt the ordinary people of Edo." I commanded.

"Done." Takasugi promised. His eye was serious like a deep, dark pool reflecting brilliant light. My eyes widened. "Takasugi!.." I couldn't believe how he agreed so easily! Was this a strategic lie? Or did he have another plan to destroy the Bakufu from within? "Why?" I asked. His response was evilly velvety. "I don't have to explain myself.""No you don't." I admitted, folding my arms and looking at him with a cold expression. Takasugi liked that. His eye crinkled at the corner and he pleasantly tilted his head. "You must already know how certain people are drawn to me like a moth to a flame...including a few members of the Shinsengumi."

"I already knew that." My face betrayed my bitterness. Takasugi's lips widened sadistically and his eye gleamed overly brightly. "You still can't trust me, can you? You're hurting from my betrayal, isn't it? _Good_." He chuckled cruelly. Without showing any fear of my kaiken, he grabbed the lapel of my kimono like a schoolyard bully. Then snarled. "That's exactly where I want you to be…to feel it…_feel the pain_ _I felt_ when you rejected me. Now how do you like it? To feel the way I do…to feel the_ burning hate…"_

_Grrrrr! If only you knew how crazy I've felt this past week!_

"Let go of me," I warned icily, pressing the tip of the dagger into his bare chest. No way in hell would I permit a mid-level samurai to be so rude to me. With a sadistic urge I advanced one step closer, whispering words to pierce his sensitive pride. "I don't believe it…you mean the black beast of Edo actually felt…_ rejected?"_ Takasugi's eye was pinned stoically on me, his expression did not change, but I felt my collar being jerked forward, pulling my body towards his.

_My kaiken!!_

I frantically whipped my weapon away just in the nick of time. _What the hell was he thinking? I could have killed him! _Everything went black and cold sweat poured down my panicked body. I heard a metallic clack as the dagger dropped from my nerveless grasp and skated on its enamel handle. When I could breathe again, I found myself clinging to his body, with his arms tightly wrapped around my waist.

"You're insane!" I angrily removed my hands and shoved at his chest with both hands. But his grip around my waist was tighter than that; I didn't push him hard enough and remained stuck against him, thighs touching. He gripped my chin coolly, squeezing it with between thumb and forefinger, something we had done as kids, but took on a totally different meaning as adults. His thumb lightly brushed my lower lip with deliberate sensuality. _What the-?!_ My mind spaced out at the sensation and I gave an involuntary gasp. I heard Takasugi's deep voice whisper in my ears, "Don't get too hot-headed, Zura…" and felt his finger now sweep over both lips, which I had parted. The second touch made me snap back to reality and I didn't hesitate to hurl a punch at the pervert. Takasugi stepped aside, brilliant eye observing me quietly and attentively.

He mockingly continued. "If you kill me, then Bansai will kill you. Your faction will attack us, then we'll kill each other…and then the Bakufu will win." He hesitated when he saw the weird look on my face. ''Does that make sense?"

"_Hai." _I mumbled angrily, turning my back on him. But I really meant was: _Hell no_…my mind was too busy remembering the warm sensation of his body to think of anything else…

_To be continued..._

_---+_

_Please review because they motivate me. ^^  
_


	3. Chp 3: Playing

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_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 3 : PLAYING  
**_

---+

_I couldn't kill Takasugi -- that much was obvious._

He gave me a truce in exchange for what I wanted. Maybe he _really_ wanted to stop fighting with me. But he wasn't after an alliance. Neither did he intend to persuade me. "So…?" I asked, looking across the table, one sake saucer between us._"Why did you bring me here?"_ Instead of answering, Takasugi smiled, eyes lingering over my hands which were modestly folded over closed knees. I tried to ignore him but my cheeks reddened and a vein began to throb on my forehead. My back felt unnaturally stiff. It wasn't as if I wanted to pose this way! Obviously, being a man I would have separated both knees and placed my fists on my thighs but since I was wearing a lady's kimono...

"Takasugi…?" I prompted.

"No particular reason…" Takasugi said, tilting his head carelessly. "You don't believe me, do you?" He smiled again. "This wasn't my idea. I was drinking with Bansai and he suggested it." He shrugged. "Really?" I replied. "I wonder if you meant Bansai requested if he could assassinate me.""Ya got me there. That thought actually occurred to me. Since Gintoki's laid up at the Shimura estate, you're the only one I can get my hands on. But no…I told you already, it'll be dumb for me to kill you now. Because if I did, then your men would come after me, and while we're fighting, the Shinsengumi will strike. As you may have noticed, the heat is on pretty strong right now. _S'all…"_ He offered me the saucer with a seemingly open face, but that just meant he was hiding something. "What are you afraid of? This isn't poisoned. Aren't you going to join me?" He asked expectantly."As if it's the most natural thing in the world to be drinking sake with a man whom I just tried to kill." I said, raising my eyebrows ironically. "However, I'm also concerned about something else. Can sake kill germs, like from TB?"

Takasugi's pupils glittered maliciously. Touche. Rumors had it that he had gotten TB after the Joi War ended. His complexion was certainly pale enough, in addition to the feverish heat of his aura. "No. You need a shot for that. I think we already got them when we were kids. It hurt like hell, especially since I had to take it twice. But not you…" he stared speculatively. "You were one of the lucky ones. Natural immunity. You make me jealous…" His last words drifted self-mockingly away as he took a drink. My eyes widened in amazement. I had totally forgotten about it…us lining up in front of the nurse's office…the injection…the little red welt that popped up in the crook of our arm… That was Shinsuke for you. A man who never forgot, much less forgive.

"_Your kimono..."_ Shinsuke began staring at my clothes again. I was wearing a blue satin-silk kimono, embroidered with flitting red dragonflies. By the creator's art, the metallic gold thread woven into the eyes and wings of the insects picked up light whenever I shifted, as if they were hovering over a stream. This was an effect best seen in the shadows, under flickering candlelight, like now. Actually Shinsuke looked much better wrapped up in thick, warm shadows. Less garish. The butterflies on his yukata finally stopped screaming "Hey look at me!" and hid their wings over their faces instead, dreaming peacefully. The next time I saw him, the purple would deepen to black and fluttering orange pattern morph into rippling vermilion waves. But for now, it was dragonflies for me, butterflies for him and we were merely insignificant little insects seeking shelter in the darkness.

_Wrong. I was really in a cage with a black beast._

"…you would fit right in. You look just like a charming young woman from Kyoto visiting Kiyomizudera Temple. Your blue kimono would have matched the red maple leaves. Kyoto's only 5 hours away from Edo by boat. How come you never visited me once in all these years?"

"I did, but your mom told me you were out." I felt Shinsuke's eyes on me and I looked down, smoothing my lap. It was a joke, obviously.

Takasugi smirked. "What a shame. I didn't think she approved of bad company like you."

"I'm supposed to be bad?"

"You're not bad, you're lazy. But that's ok. What shall we do, after I finish the hard work of taking down the Bakufu?"

"You mean _if_ you do."

"I will." Our eyes met, and I was forced to nod in agreement. "But I can't see you in a business suit."

"And I don't see you cutting your long hair and joining a Zaibatsu. Or maybe you're more inspired by Shiroyasha, I mean – Odd-jobs, No-jobs – Gin-san's example? Wait…I forgot… you _are_ a professional… I shouldn't call you Zura. Right? …_Zurako?"_

"I'm not Zura_ko_, please stick to..._ Katsura_."

"And please remember I'm only Shinsuke, a simple soldier. Why does everyone think I'm a power-driven, sex-crazed and vindictive villain?"

I chuckled. "Some would add sex-offender to the list."

"Speak for yourself. You really need to stop raping my eyes with your horrible disguise. Can someone please call the fashion Shinsengumi?!"

"No one asked you to look at me."

"Forgive me, mademoiselle." Takasugi mockingly licked the rim of the saucer. "You look so good you're scary. Then again, I must be wearing sake googles…if you don't want me to keep staring at your clothes, I suggest you take them off."

"My colleague Pako looks even better in a kimono."

"Sounds hot. Can I meet her?"

"You already have."

"I have?"

"It's…_Gintoki."_

Takasugi choked. He started coughing violently. The wheezing sounded dangerously like emphysema. I couldn't help standing up and reaching over. His head snapped up in surprise. Oh what the heck, who cares about appearances. I found myself kneeling beside him and stroking his back. He burbled out a few more wet-sounding coughs before falling silent. I stood up to go, but he grabbed the sleeve of my jacket.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Nothing." He mumbled, letting go and looking away.

I poured myself a shot and gulped it. I needed it to wash away that weird feeling that came over me. Forget about Takasugi. I reminded myself._ He's a lost soul._ He was glaring at me, eyes a little damp but otherwise completely pale and composed. Drinking had a strange effect on Takasugi. The more he drank, the saner he appeared, since his normal self could be pretty insane. Instead of turning red like me, he would turn pale. Instead of hugging everyone like I, ahem, have a tendency to do…he could appear serious and sincere. Well, who knows if he was still the same. A lot of time had passed since the Joi War. And that was the last time we had a civilized drinking session; in the middle of terrible war, facing a common enemy. In war, we were willing to make big sacrifices for each other, but in peacetime, our worst sides would appear. It was ironic.

Takasugi coughed, then scratchily managed,"I always thought you drank like a woman, but now I think you drink like a man."

"You made a pretty convincing geisha yourself. In for an encore?"

With a smirk, Takasugi went out and picked up the shamisen. I got up and took in the floor lantern. He remained standing at the narrow doorway, as if on purpose, so I had to push past him, bumping against the wood as I wedged by. The lantern cast deep shadows on his features and hid half of his face… Before I realized it, I was staring. The glitter of his eye told me he was observing me too. Embarrassed, I quickly walked inside.

Takasugi's shamisen was old, with grime embedded into its long slim neck and the leather drum was smoky with age. I recognized it as the same one that he had for years. It wasn't even some Stradivarius. He was just a person who didn't like change.

"Ever made a new song?" I asked.

"I'm glad you asked…I actually do. This one's called "Cooling Flow". You may have heard of it." My mouth twitched. Was he making fun of my introductory poem? At least that meant he had been listening.

Takasugi strummed and clacked the bachi, producing a smooth, low-pitched allegro…I had a vision of galloping across an open meadow at mid-day. Whatever Takasugi did always had that sun-drenched, military feel. His sound was rich, warm and smooth. I think he was doing a variation of _Jongara._ After the repeating the motif in a couple of different registers, he brought his left hand very close to the drum to mimic the childish whisper, as if of a shy country girl, but it changed a little, as if he too, was also searching for the right pitch. The voice became more soothing like the song of a young mother consoling her sad child with soft syllables of a lullaby. Satisfied, he introduced a grand, powerful voice, like shouts on the battlefield, then braided the two melodies harmoniously. Deciding on the perfect pitch, he slowed down further, and repeated the motif in a more complex variation. Hmm...a wedding piece? That's his interpretation of my poem? I liked how Takasugi's pacing was fluid, like the tides of the Kawada River. Since young, Takasugi had been like this. He emphasized smoothness above all and disliked highly strung or frenzied picking. In many ways our tastes were the same: _old-fashioned._ At least I knew I wasn't the only one who looked at the green hills and blue seas of our homeland and feel that it's so beautiful it hurts.

"Like a cooling flow, soothing my soul…something, something…and about growing up in Edo…Oh I forgot the rest of the lyrics," he grinned. _Liar. _

"_Sweet. _But not exactly what I call... _a cooling flow._"

"You're so smart, you teach me? _Sensei?_" Takasugi suggested, passing me the shamisen.

I was in creative mood. Maybe from the sake – yeah just one shot – or maybe it was Shinsuke. I, too, felt I needed to get something off my chest. "Listen to this one, Takasugi. This is how real water sounds like. On a frozen winter day, frost crystals blow through the biting air. And the river flows, in fact it seems to _melt_ through the landscape, like a black snake…" I started playing a tune fit for the decaying moon. I closed my eyes, strummed out a melody both ancient and eerie. Like the speech of the aristocrats, it was calm, understated and full of ellipses. Originally created for Shinto rituals, it could send you into a trance. I already felt my senses heightened as I focused my imagination on the way a dying note mixed with the new in a chord. I brought out the freezing sensation of the cold, cold pauses. My body was so relaxed I began to float every time I let the strings slide. In that state, it was possible to smell the sea breeze like it smelled like a freshly opened oyster, which also smells clean like mint or pine. Maybe from the forest. But when you're in a forest, the cold pines do smell salty, like an ocean. At any rate, I was… _high._

I opened my eyes and found Takasugi lounging by the shoji screen looking into the sea. His face, outside the circle of candlelight, was in shadows…but I _felt_ rather than saw, that his look was open –almost too unguarded. He clapped quietly. "That was so…_Zura._ I'm honored. Such music isn't often heard outside of the palaces of Kyoto. Oh Zura, always so high class." I didn't say anything. I had the urge to continue talking to him, but not get into an argument.

"Do you only have one shamisen?" I asked. "Why not get another one? Or call your friend Bansai in here?"

"Bansai? God no, please don't. I can't stand his rhythm, it's so jerky and hard, like a 17 year old who just got his driving license….I don't mean he lacks skills. Technically, he's superb, but look, it's like the Yoshida Brothers…catchy, but it has no scent or flavor…well just how much soul do you expect from a Nintendo Wii commercial?"As if frustrated, he continued his rant. His eyes became glassy and he spoke with commanding intensity. "Bansai is a good example of a kid who grew up Amanto-washed. He goes around carrying a shamisen and uses ancient honorifics like a 19th century Prince Genji. But I don't find that he understands me at all. He's like the rest of the kids. All his music is about love, but his love is completely plastic. Real Love is emptiness, like the rich shadows of this empty room. Real love is how you feel when you know you're going to die, but you still do it. Your soul becomes engulfed in flames…_and_ _that is true love."_

_That's what true love means for him? _I had the strange sensation of wanting to slap him, argue with him or cry for him. But I knew it was pointless. It was his life, let him burn. He _was_ burning. He was very pale, very still and radiated a voracious _hunger. _"Don't you ever get the feeling like you can't make any friends after we left Shouyou-sensei's school? I feel so lonely, sometimes. I feel…like I can't love like I used to love. Yes, I have comrades now, and I respect them, but I don't love them. Bansai? Makoto? Henpeitai? Interesting people…But we're just _associates._ I just can't feel anything for them."

"_Only you can understand me, Zura. That's what makes me so lonely."_

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Takasugi was ready to die for his emotions. I was ready to die for my principles. We were on opposite sides. I realized that everything went downhill the minute I picked up the shamisen, and managed to connect…_with the soul of a black beast._ I stood up as Takasugi walked closer. His pupils glittered intensely.

Whatever he wanted, _he would never allow me to reject him._

_To be continued..._

_---+  
_

Next chp...Takasugi gets rough. BTW sorry for the long delay between chp 2 and 3. :P

Please review, they help. ^^


	4. Chp 4: Drinking

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_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 4 : DRINKING**_

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"You say you have a lot of friends, Zura…" Takasugi stated quietly, walking so close to me that he blocked out the candlelight, which then blossomed around his body like a halo. A brown shadow the color of burnt trees fell across my eyelids. I could feel his hot aura radiating and I folded my arms, shivering. "But have you ever been as close to them_… as you have with me…?"_

A fuzziness seemed to float above his pale cheekbones, chin and lips, as if the white gauze across his forehead was now wrapped around my eyes, making me dizzy. I blinked and tried to focus all my attention on his right eye. The air that sprang up between us was the color of a bruised plum. The luster from my blue kimono also spilled across his hair and pooled along the creases of his bandage, nose and lips…yet in his eye,I could see no light at all.

"How can you feel close to anyone if you can't even see that they exist?"

Takasugi's lips stretched into a slim smile. "You exist. You came to look for me."

"I didn't seek you out for _you._ I did it to protect my friends. _My real friends."_

The barest hint of a flinch. "I know, you never liked me. That's why I liked to look for you. I used to think you were so far away, like an angel…but gradually, you seem to have come closer and closer to earth."

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you drawn to me, Zura…Is there something broken inside of you? A wound that can never heal…?"

_Shouyou-sensei!_ Why did Takasugi have to bring him up again? I used to spend all my time trying to recapture the days before Shouyou-sensei died. He was the best of old Japan. When he died— everything that I had treasured in my life – Bushido, Hanabi Festivals and Soba noodles became as dust. So I plunged into the Joi revolution, hoping to restore the past. But this was no way to make a dead tree bloom. Gintoki taught me that. And Elizabeth. And Sakamoto. And Kagura, Shinpachi, Saigo. _Ikamatsu…_and many others. "No, Takasugi. I am happy now." I sighed softly and dropped my guarded posture, hoping that he would be able to feel what I feel. But his expression became malicious. "How happy you look now, away from our battle. But I'll keep fighting. I know I'll die, but that only makes me happier_… to fight for something knowing that I can never win."_ His eye began to glow brightly as if seeing a vista of smoke and flame.

"Takasugi –" I said, instinctually reaching out to brush his sleeve. He stared at me, calculatingly. "When peace comes, I will die. I've served my purpose. I started out with only 3 men, and now we have over 300 crack troops. How do you think that happened? After all, I'm only _170 centimeters tall."_

I cleared my throat, covering my mouth politely with my fingers. Um, wasn't it…_166?_

As if he read my mind, Takasugi said. "I grew, ok?"

"Ok." I shrugged flippantly "Do as you wish. But its clear to me your real enemy is neither the Bakufu nor the Amanto. Who you're really fighting against is the black beast that tells you're nobody. That's why you have to keep proving be _somebody…"_ I bit off the rest of the sentence. He _was_ somebody. _To me._

"Oh Zura…always so logical. Why do I always get into these pointless arguments with you whenever we meet? And we never changed for all that." His deep voice boomed with laughter. "Go ahead, tell me anything. I won't be offended."

"... liar."

This pattern was maddeningly familiar. If this was 10 years ago, this would be the cue for Gintoki to step in and say "Whoa, whoa! What are you fighting over, huh? What's at stake here?" I stared at the agitated waves of the sea, where certain patches flowed with a darker sheen of a hidden undertow. I could feel powerful currents flowing through the room, bringing us together. It was better this way. "C'mon. Let's drink." I took the initiative by helping myself to a refill. Before taking a sip, I gave him a salute. _Wooo_—watch out! My chest felt immediately numbed by the sake. Shinsuke regained his composure and smiled widely. His voice was barely audible.

"We'll never be friends…but this is a start."

---+

The air had chilled slightly. The candlelight was sputtering and the sake bottle much lighter than before.

How much time had passed? I must be drunk by now. I sat up and wiped a palm over my face. I was trembling with clammy sweat.

"Don't do that," Takasugi smirked from across the table. "You'll wipe your lipstick away. It looks eerie, burning in the candlelight. Actually, Zura…you look better than any Kyoto geisha I have ever met." Uh…yeah…I forgot I was wearing an iridescent green lipstick. I admired the way it glistered like darkfire, making the wearer look pale and otherworldly, but the way it was attracting Takasugi's attention made me rather uncomfortable. Well who could blame him. I must look terrible. I took out my handkerchief and wiped off my lipstick, then pulled the collar of my kimono a little higher up the nape of my neck and ran both hands through my hair, trying to neaten it.

"Your hands look so elegant…when that's all I can see of your body." He continued in an insinuating tone.

"Shuddup."

"You know how the moon tonight is almost decayed to nothing?" He mused. "Everything grows in cycles. The moon has to slowly decay before it can be reborn. That's why I can't change my course half-way through."

Huh…Takasugi wanted to_ change?!_ He must be drunk. He began speaking in a monologue. Hey, stop that! I'm not really a geisha you know! I wanna talk too! Ha ha ha…I too, was tipsy but I did like listening to Shinsuke's speech. His baritone was so grand. What's gotten him so passionate now?

"….You were the teacher's pet. I hated you. I had to get rid of you to get Shouyou-sensei's attention. Then one night…remember that night? We went on a school trip to an old temple in Kyoto with a huge cemetery at the back. (1) I decided to make you pee your pants… I needed to see your stuck-up rich boy's face start panicking and crying for your mama. Unfortunately, someone told Gintoki about my plans, he pulled a prank on me first. Since sundown I was tied up, put in a burlap bag and tied to a gravestone. Now it was my turn to pee my pants, tormented by my imagination. I was shivering non-stop. Then I felt someone pull me up, cut my bonds, and hug me. This was the first time in my life, that anyone has hugged me. I can still remember how soft your body felt, how clean your scent…." I felt a probing gaze fall on my hair. "Your scent. Or should I say your shampoo. But it was you, and my gang was standing behind you. They knew I was missing, but none of them had the courage to step into the cemetery in the dark night to seek for me. But you did, and they followed you." A bitter scoff. "They followed you. And why not? When Gintoki told you about the trick, you hit him and rushed out to find me, even though I wasn't even your friend. Why did you do that?" He shook his head. "I was so wrong. You weren't a sissy boy at all. You were completely fearless. When it came to protecting your comrades, you were completely fearless. I fell in love."

"You…_what?_"

"I said. I fell in _love_."

He _what?_ What did he say? "… I thought you were mad at me. You punched me."

"Because of your fucking tone."

"I just asked you if you were…okay."

Takasugi scowled. "Fuck you, don't ever, ever ask me that."

"Fuck you back."

"_Really…"_

My pulse quickened nervously. Surely he couldn't be serious? But I heard the rustle of robes next thing I knew Takasugi was sitting right beside me. His hand snaked towards my waist and I slapped it aside, but it was a feint. With a quick motion he pushed me to the ground, pounced on my chest and pressed one of my hands beside my head. His other hand interlocked through my hair, close to my scalp. Then he clutched his fist and started to increase the pressure. I groaned involuntarily…but if I was honest, I would have said.

_Tighter._ "_Tighter_, Zura?" Shinsuke whispered.

I cracked open one eye while the other squeezed shut. Single-eye met single eye and it wasn't exactly icy. My eyes shut tight and I panted involuntarily, trying not to moan. That was my weakness. I liked getting my hair pulled. Not many knew that, if any…but Shinsuke found this out by accident and tormented me ever since. Except we weren't kids anymore. We were both getting tense. "Cut…cut it out." I groaned after a minute. No, I better not let this go any further, I should've dated Ikamatsu when I had the chance…I shoved at Shinsuke's chest with my free hand and he let go of my hair, stood up and leaned against the shoji doorway. I felt confused and nauseous.

I hugged myself and mumbled. "Can I go now?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Home."

"Home? Where _is_ your home? The Joi hideout? With Gintoki? Or Elizabeth? Or do you prefer younger girls? Like Kagura?"

"I'm warning you, don't cross the line."

"Ok I won't. For now." He was staring at me as if he had an evil plan. But I was too drunk and sleepy to think much. "I'll be right back," he said. The shoji door closed and I heard his footsteps creaking over the floorboards as he walked along the deck. Blame it on the moonlight, the shamisen and most of all, the sake. I collapsed drowsily onto the floorboards. I still remember warning myself not to fall asleep …After I don't know how long, I heard the shoji door open and the floorboard squeak. There was a sound of a futon being thrown on the floor. Takasugi moved closer to me. I snapped awake. Knowing that he was watching me, I held my breath. I saw his shadowy form leaning over me, the shirtfront of his yukata billowing open. I snapped my eyelids shut when I saw his face coming closer. I felt a gentle kiss on my ear and a hand run lightly though my hair.

"Hey," he whispered, "are you sleeping?"

"Yes." I mumbled, pressing my nose to the cold board.

He smiled. "Do you want to sleep with me tonight? In the futon?"

It took me a while to understand what he meant. _"With you?"_

_To be continued..._

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_

(1) This was where I got the plot for "The Night of the Tengu."

_As always I appreciate your feedback. ^^ Please review  
_


	5. Chp 5: Crossing the Line

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_Finally...Takazura YAOI_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 5 : CROSSING THE LINE**_

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Instead of saying yes or no, Takasugi placed his palm on my waist and sighed. _"Zura..."_ I felt a comfortable heat seep into my hips and my breath hitched. He was obviously after a one-night stand. I must have been blind not to have seen it coming. _Screw him,_ I'm not that type of guy. I roused myself, although I would have preferred to escape into my alcohol-induced oblivion. It's not easy to be reminded of how much I've missed Takasugi since the war ended. Or about the walls we've put up since then. I propped myself up on my arms and stared at him reproachfully.

"Leave me alone, Takasugi. I just want to die."

"Die…?"

"You know why."

"Actually, I don't."

_You don't…?_ Although I was too drunk to recall what I just said, I don't believe he didn't understand me. He _has_ to. He _has_ to know why opening myself to him only makes me feel this…_sadness._ "What is it about fucking a dead man that you don't understand?" I snarled. Takasugi responded by leaning forward. I tried to avoid him by leaning back onto my elbows, which was a wrong move. Takasugi crossed his right hand over my body and buried his face between my neck and collarbone. His warm breath began to tickle my neck. "Your words turn me on," he whispered. My left hand pushed against his shoulder, but it wasn't to reject him. I didn't have the heart to do it. A sudden bone-weariness drained me of all strength. We've had enough of rejection, I thought. Since the day Japan lost the war and we were branded as an inferior nation. Overnight, our most treasured values were rejected. Samurai, once princes of the land, now walked on the wrong side of the law. I was so tired of living underground. So must Shinsuke. _We weren't brought up to be this way. _I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. My left hand tightened around his neck, and I hid my face into the fabric of his shoulder so he couldn't see the big, grape-sized tears that silently dropped down my cheeks.

"It's such a small thing…and you say_ no_." Takasugi said with bitter tenderness, tracing his right hand up the crisp fold of my kimono sleeve until they rested around my wrist. "Yet you were willing to risk your life to save me." He pushed my wrist next to my head while leaning over, placing me in a supine position. I blinked away the tears from my wet lashes. It wasn't a small thing for me, and he knew that. How many more red strings can I bear tying from him to me –

Takasugi's pool-like eye, half-hidden under his dark lashes and thick, falling bangs, gazed at me with a more subdued look than I had ever seen before. "Don't be nervous", he whispered softly. And I wondered if _he_ was nervous, because he closed his eye when he slid his palm over my hand. I felt its mild weight, although his fingers were icy-cold. His aura was feverish and I felt warm air tickle my forehead.

"Just give your body to me," I heard him sigh. "…_Kotaro." _

I stared up at the ceiling at the cloud of rich brown dust falling upon our fragile dome of candlelight. The shoji screens seemed to glow, as if drenched from within, and beat an erratic pulse with every passage of the night breeze. The rocking of the boat had virtually stalled, like the calm before a storm. Takasugi's translucent skin was flushed with a reddish glow on his lips and cheeks. He raised a finger and slowly traced the vein along my neck until he reached the front of my kimono, then nonchalantly stroked the creases across the double layer of robes. He seemed content to wait like that, waiting for our primal attraction to build by the moment. "That's ok…I'm a dead man too. When I have killed every single Bakufu dog who has contributed to Shouyou-sensei's death, I will disappear." His silent chuckle was more felt than heard. "Then you'll have nobody to fight against." I thought of life without Shinsuke. It was impossible. I had opposed him for so long and from such an early age that he had grown to become a part of me.

"But I've never felt separated from you."

"No…?" Takasugi seemed pleased. But his expression darkened when I pushed him away. He let go of me and folded his arms and legs, looking up at the ceiling before glaring at me, pupils glittering. I stood up. I didn't want to reject him. Yet I couldn't accept him. "We've both been chasing after the ghost of Shouyou-sensei. I always wondered if you had found him. Because I did." "Where did you find him?" I hoped one day Takasugi would manage to find the peace he was looking for. There was just no way I could simply transfer that feeling to him even if I held him in my arms.

"We've been opponents for years now. Anything that happens to me also happens to you sooner or later. So if I changed…would you also be affected? What do you think, Shinsuke…_On the day that I changed, do you think you could have also changed, so that we can meet up halfway?"_

"…so that's what happened to me?" His voice had an edge, like a mean-spirited child.

"What happened?" I asked, convinced now that something unusual had motivated him to set up this meeting.

His voice was bemused and velvety. "When an angel has fallen closer to earth…then I wonder what happens to the demon…. Does he get a little closer to heaven…?"

The candlelight sputtered out with a smell of ash and wax, plunging the room into a darkness alive with a soft cloud of skeletal-white dust. The specks of decaying moonlight, which had always lain unnoticed in the background, emerged as a rhythmic, watery pattern. But I still couldn't see my own hands stretched out in from of me. I could only tell by the heat that I was touching Shinsuke's slim, compact form. My hands found their way into his yukata, where I could feel his skin heating up, ever so slightly, degree by degree. My mood was changing at a faster pace, to match my heartbeats. I could smell sake evaporating and cooling. But on his tongue it tasted infinitely more intense than if I had drank from my own saucer.

---+

The frequency of the music changed, bringing us to a new level of reality. I thought of something I would never have thought. _Shinsuke is hot._

We were on the futon. He mockingly whispered...

_Like a cooling flow _

_Soothing my soul_

I replied…

_Heat penetrates and invades_

_Edo will burn…_

The words were deliriously meaningless. The whole world was nothing but music. It was the battle between black and white, and we destroyed each other. We started laughing.

I don't believe it, but we were happy.

On the day that the Joi war ended, all the samurai had to kneel to listen to the Emperor's announcement on the radio. I can't remember what else came out of the mechanical droning of the gramophone, only two words pierced me: _Japan lost._ My face burned – I refused to surrender. Blinded by fury, I gripped the hilt of my katana and stared at the numbed faces of my comrades. The majority of them turned to face me, waiting to see my reaction. But what could I say? It was too late now. The war was over!

Without knowing why, my eyes sought out Takasugi. There he was, leaning against the concrete wall with one knee upraised, one hand against his cheek and the other draped over his katana. He was sitting, not kneeling, arguably because of his serious injuries, but his disrespect of authority had always been thinly veiled. On the surface, he looked unfazed by the announcement, merely curved his mouth in a sardonic smile, much of his expression hidden by a bandage soaked in fresh blood…But when he looked up his eye was dangerously brilliant and as we stared at each other across the horde of silent comrades, I felt he was the only man in Edo left –

When Takasugi noticed the look on my face, something else emerged… a steadfast, protective light. He always gave me that look in a time of crisis. As if to say that his power could be depended upon, and he would never change. I was electrified. Why? I don't know why, but I started to smile, an unbidden sunrise glowed all the way through to the tips of my hair and feet. A sigh was building up among us. Everyone shouted. Against the principles of Bushido, we felt no shame. We all started to shout and shout because we were so relieved the war was over. The sound was like the roar of the ocean.

Like the pounding of heartbeats when I came.

---+

I felt very, very tired. I tried to stay awake, saying I should leave…but when I turned to Shinsuke, I found Shinsuke's face looking quiet, sweet and pure. I couldn't help it, I traced the line of his bandage from his eye, down his neck, arms and to his hands. And held them tightly.

"Why do you even look at me like that?" he asked.

"I've never seen you like this before…"

"Can we stay together? There is only one person left in the whole of Edo."

"Can we?" I asked.

"Will you?"

"Meet me halfway."

He stared fixedly at me then lowered his head as if struggling with himself. "I told you, I won't stop halfway…" he almost growled. Then he squeezed my hands possessively. My eyes widened, pierced by its cruelty. But in a moment as if in apology, his eye softened into a dark pool-like gaze that could be so honest. "However far I go-" He began, but one look and we closed the distance, letting our burning kiss say the words both of us can't say. Nobody can change Shinsuke except himself. But that was ok. Tonight, the moon merged all differences together from the tops of the mountains to the depths of the sea with its pure, cooling shadows. Leaving only our mutual attraction, mysterious, deep and lasting….

---+

I didn't plan to do that, but I fell asleep holding Shinsuke. I dreamt we were children and we heard an old folksong, "the brushwood we gather – stack it together, it makes a hut; pull it apart, a field once more." We ran thorough the tall dry grass behind our temple school –

"_Shinsuke…Hey Shinsuke it's 4 am…"_

A faint candlelight. Bansai's polite voice from behind the shoji screen. I felt an arm and a leg release my body and the floorboards squeak as Takasugi got up and walked over to the door. "Bansai," he greeted softly, pushing aside a crack. I sat up on the futon, pulled my underrobe together and rubbed my face. Bansai's posture stiffened when he saw me. I must look a mess. I scanned the cabin for the rest of my clothes. _How the –_ The obi was torn in two. Good luck putting that back on…

"It's for Katsura-san. From Mademoiselle Saigo. It's time for his curfew." Bansai replied a little thinly. "I can drop him off." Then he bowed and shut the door, leaving the candlestand. Takasugi tossed me the cell which, amazingly enough, I managed to catch with one hand.

"Zurako. It's closing time…how did your audition go?" said Saigo's deep voice.

"Fine."

"_Fine?_ Why do you sound like that? Are you drunk?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm… _fine_." Although I have a hangover and my body hurts…

"Zurako? Do you want me to send Pako and Pachi to fetch you?"

Good question. I had to go back before Saigo and my Joi comrades started wondering where I had spent the night. I looked straight into Takasugi's probing eyes…Was what we did any more than a sake-induced hallucination? Were we still willing to change for one another like we wanted to last night? "Yes. Yeah. I mean no. I'll get back now. Don't close the club yet. I'll be right back." I snapped the cell shut and grinned ruefully at Takasugi.

"Hey. Got a spare shirt?"

_To be continued…  
_

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_

_Thanks for the reviews :) Next chp, Takasugi gets Naughty! He's not gonna let Zura leave just cuz he wants to! Besides, the boat has already arrived in Kyoto..._


	6. Chp 6: Breaking

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_Warning...Takazura SMUT  
_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 6 : BREAKING  
**_

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"Stay with me." Takasugi ordered.

"No." I said, frowning at his tone.

Takasugi's face looked as pissed as a wet cat. He grabbed my waist. "Fuck 'em. Tell them you need space."

"You're right. I _do_ need space." I said through gritted teeth, struggling again. "From _you_."

The shape of Takasugi's smile nuzzled itself into its habitual spot on my neck and his familiar scent began intoxicating me. As if reading my thoughts, Takasugi licked a hot line up my throat and murmured near my lips."Don't be stupid, Zura. Do you think you can end this anytime you feel like it? I want you here with me in Kyoto."

"Kyoto?!" My voice went high. "You mean we-" I finally got free from Takasugi and flung open the shoji screen. It was still dark, I saw nothing, no land, no lights, just whitecaps rolling across the vast darkness. A strong wave crashed against the boat, splattering on the wet deck, bringing with it a gust of storm scented wind. A monstrous shadow flitted through the room, chilling my spine. I felt very small.

"Whoa!" Takasugi slammed the screen shut. "Watch the candle."

"Where are we now?" I demanded.

Takasugi looked innocent. "One hour away from my little room at the Kiheitai headquarters. But we won't be going there tonight. "A secretive smile crept across his lips. "First, I want you to meet a mutual friend of ours."

I frowned. "In Kyoto…? Who is it?"

"He's one of our kind …actually, an important man, so we can't have you meeting him in your pajamas, can we?"

"Why should I meet him?"

"I already told you, Zura…so that I can have you next to me in Kyoto, where you belong."

"Then I don't want to meet him."

"Suit yourself." Takasugi laughed. "You have one hour to make up your mind. Oh by the way, did you ask for a spare shirt?" Takasugi stripped naked in front of me, balled his yukata and threw it into my arms. I grabbed hold of the slippery silk, Takasugi's scent wafted up, attracting me and irritating me at the same time. "Kisama!" I flung it away, the fabric ballooned and slid sensuously onto the wooden floor. Laughing, Takasugi calmly lit his pipe using the candle, puffed a few times and left the room, dressed only in smoke.

I opened the shoji again, placed my arm across the gap and leaned into the dark salty wind. Were we really one hour away from Kyoto? Well…despite my objections, we'd better be. A small houseboat like this had painfully slim chance of surviving a storm at sea. I brooded up at the heavy misty stormclouds twisting in the sky. The prospect of being possessed like some sex-object did not appeal to my self-image. Added to that I had misled Saigo into thinking I would be back soon…Dammit, I shouldn't have just assumed the boat hadn't been traveling while I was sleeping! A lot of my trust in Takasugi rested on the fact that Tsunpo had staked his reputation to bring me here. If anything happened to me, my comrades would ruin Tsunpo. Unless…I was seen as willingly defecting to the Kiheitai?!

"Never!" And you know what, my friends trusted me so much, they would never believe I could do such a thing out of my own free will. I would never choose lust over friendship.

The other shoji slid open and Takasugi entered wearing a brilliant red…_what?_...was he dressed in? A red crepe robe, the plunging collar at best resembling a distant cousin of a ripped apart Manchurian "qipao". Metallic gold embroidery of a dragon snaked round the back.

"Takasugi…?" I was astonished by his fashion sense.

He looked down, his face was slightly flushed. "I don't have a spare shirt…this happens to be Bansai's underrobe. Don't look at me like that! It's Y-3!!"

Bansai's underrobe?? The stoic assassin actually wore such a flashy garment underneath his military-style leather jacket? Amazing…ly creative.I raised one eyebrow. "I don't want to wear your yukata, Takasugi, why don't you lend me that one? I'll return it as soon as I can."

"No Zura, how can I let you wear another man's-" He bit off the rest of his words. "What's wrong with my robe? Are you afraid you might be recognized? Do you even realize how seldom I even wear that? No one's going to know the difference. Here, "he coaxed, picking up my white linen jacket, "Put this over and no one will see."

"That's not the issue." I folded my arms, eyeing the long, girly sleeves of my white cotton underrobe. Perhaps under the hazy euphoric neons of Kabuki-cho, they would be unnoticeable, but to walk out in broad daylight dressed as an okama…that would mean a totally different kind of man. But how different would I be if I walked home wearing Takasugi's infamous butterfly prints? I suddenly felt anxious, face growing hot. _Even worse…_ I decided. I pretended to shrug casually, avoiding Takasugi's gaze as I reached for my jacket. "Forget it, I'm fine this way."

Somehow I wasn't surprised when Takasugi refused to let go of my jacket and instead used it to pull me towards him. I immediately flinched away as if singed, walked away a few steps. His deep voice took on a seductive undertone, "You hurt my feelings, Zura…after all that we did..."

_All we did?!_ "Indeed." I coldly shrugged. "I thought you wanted it too."

"Sure. You can tie as many red strings around me as you like…so long as its you, Zurako..._Chan_" Takasugi paused suggestively on the last word, he put a finger under his chin, studying my body appreciatively.

Disgusting.

He's disgusting. I'm disgusting. Dammit! I'll never drink again!! Sake sucks cock! I suddenly gulped at the thought, covered my mouth and looked to the side. I'm sure I didn't do such a thing, did I? Honestly the events of last night were one big blur to me, I only remembered- I-I… I buried my face into my palm. I had fun, that was the only thing I could be sure of. I sneaked a look at Takasugi. His eye was wide open, gleaming psychotically, his right hand hidden within his exotic robe which looked even more unbuttoned than before. "Stop staring at me like that, Takasugi!" I snapped.

"Why can't I?" He drawled, voice taking on an edge. "You're my man."

"Since when."

"Since you led me on, my…" Takasugi just smiled, hiding the endearment. "With your red strings. Show me your beautiful red strings again, Zura, lets do it again."

"You're obsessed!" I glared at him, he fastened his eye on me and approached casually. But his aura was too close, the light too fierce, I cast my eyes down. The polished wooden floor gleamed richly until it merged with ceiling outside the circle of faint candlelight. Within this warm circle…what did I have to be afraid of? I'm a soldier too, why was I trembling?

"Takasugi."

"Zura."

We spoke at the same moment. A blade flashed. Fresh blood poured down my snowy white shirtfront, the cotton fluttered aside, the fluid cascaded down my chest, dyed my sleeves red and flowed down to my hem. I gasped in shock, but felt no pain. Like a beast, Takasugi's arms encircled my waist, grabbed a fistful of my hair and bit down on my left jugular, sucking it forcefully. With my thighs clasped that way, the pit of my stomach felt so pleasurably warm, a sharp pain appeared, it pooled and spread, like fire, it couldn't be stopped. All I noticed were how the strands of my long hair flickered in the breeze, they were brown, almost blonde…"Think about me for a change." I heard him say.

_"I want you."_

I was shoved by my lapels onto the wooden floor, I fell backwards with a light thump, not so painful but I struggled for air. The heavy weight of Takasugi immediately landed on top of me, his familiar smell, his strong aura, the tightening of my own hands on his shoulders felt like the most natural thing… I began feeling scared…even last night…we hadn't-

"Zura…do you remember what you promised?"

Promise…? No…I shook my head weakly…what was he talking about?

"N-no…"

"Noo? You said it…you said something else…"

NOOO~! The front part of my underrobe was open and Takasugi licked one nipple while pushing one hand harshly from the center of my chest to my collarbone. Nnnngh..nhhh!! I protested, pushing myself forward on my elbows, but he pushed me back down by clutching my neck, squeezing it with his fingers, in a way I began to feel weak and moan escaped my lips, my back arched against the floorboards all the way to my head…why…why…my body was acting completely out of my control, …no I wasn't afraid…I refused to be afraid…this has nothing to do with tradition, with what my Joi comrades would think…this has nothing to do with anyone….last night was last night, I wasn't me! Today, I want to be me! I've got to be me!! N-not…!

_Not THAT thing!_

I don't want to get too close to him again, I might slip off the cliff…

Be like him.

My heart pounded like crazy, Takasugi ripped apart my sash, I felt hot wetness invade my navel, my legs voluntarily jerked apart wider…

"It- It's….its 4am Takasugi!!" I hissed, "I don't want this!" Last night I was drunk…but now…if I did it again, that would mean---

"It's 4am…?" he murmured into my ear, then nipped it painfully with his teeth. "Yes, its 4am. _Kukuku_...Burn this into your mind. Every night at 4am…every single night…" He gripped my hand and stared deep into my eyes.

_"I will fuck you…again and again…for a hundred years."_

"Until you and I are exactly the same…"

Is this what you want, Zura? To tie yourself to this beast that your comrades will kill on sight…to tie string after string of red strings to a murderer, a criminal…a _psycho_…NEVER! I threw him off with all my strength, but Takasugi intercepted me, I found myself sitting between his legs, my legs wrapped around his waist… Kisama! I moaned accidentally. He…!! Takasugi had grabbed hold of my dick…I leaned forward, shuddering. As fast as he moved, I could do the same. I grabbed under his robe and I tightened my grip defiantly.

"You _rape_ me... _I'll fuck you._"

Takasugi's eye widened in surprise, "Zurako-chan? I'm shocked, you're usually so reserved~" He suddenly burst out in smooth, bright laughter, and scooted closer, as if challenging me, his posture suggested he wouldn't be the first to come. I couldn't meet his eye at all, too embarrassed at my growing arousal, I nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt his thumb wipe over my sensitive tip. But I only endured silently, breaking out into cold sweat all of a sudden. Wrong move, I regretted my impulsiveness, what am I doing? I closed my eyes and tried to breathe calmly, making my mind go cold, trying to take control. I don't care about him, I thought. I hate him. I hate his pale, translucent skin, I hate the deep red crepe framing his exposed chest, I hate how his hazel eye now looked sunny, even innocent. I hate that watery white light floating over his high cheekbones.

"Hug me, Zura." He commanded.

His tone rubbed me the wrong way, my fingers began caressing his dick, barely touching it.

"Feel me, Takasugi. " I ordered.

Unfortunately for me, Takasugi touched me at about that time, making my voice come out all weird. Weird enough for me to want to hear that delicious sound over and over. _Feel me…_I said again, meant it to be like "Take that!", but instead I became its first victim. My eyelids trembled like a sleepwalker, then shut tight… I felt my body dissolve into a cloud of black stars, in front of me rose an inspiring light, like a beautiful black sun, making a heavy pain bloom miserably inside my chest… _This man_…his soft warm breath mixed with mine, our noses touched, clearly, his scent was like scorched earth. Soft strands of hair brushed my cheek, mine or his? Was it me feeling him or him feeling me? Who wanted to move even closer…who knew that the first person to move would lose?

I felt Takasugi's body chuckle carelessly, "Did you say_ fill _you? All the way…?"

Takasugi hugged me tightly by the waist, I could feel both his arms pulling us closer together, until there was no space between us, crushing our bodies together. When I felt his lips fitted tightly to mine I instinctually put my arms around his neck and opened my mouth, what more could I ask for? I drank in the scalding heat. Even if I could feel his tongue on top of me, pressing down, pushing me. I pushed back, with both arms around his neck, I pushed back with all my heat. I could feel the top of his dick touching mine, skin to skin. The more I knew it was me who turned him on, the more turned on I got. Maybe it was the same with him. When did that happen? Our dicks began to slide, slick with precum. We ignored it. Some dark heat filled us up from bottom to top. I wondered how strong it was going to get, yes, I'm going to stoke these black flames, let them blaze as high as it can get.

Even better, burn us both to ashes.

Maybe because I had been so obsessed by our bodies, Taka made the first move, his fingers traveled down my arms and back, it tingled like a spider, I felt annoyed, because when it was gone, my skin craved for more, it ached, it began to burn. But I didn't release my grip on his neck. I might really fall. It already took up all my strength just to feel it all, and I gave it all back to him, my eyes narrowed like an enemy before a duel. Takasugi's gaze was cold and brooding, we never broke eye contact. Waves and waves of heat washed over us, this wasn't like last night at all. This wasn't fun. This was mutual hate. For mutual blame. And mutual lust. Suddenly, Taka pressed my shoulders to the floorboards, pinned my palms beside my head and began kissing again, deeper, grinding down his hips at the same time. I moved equally shamelessly, maybe more, because I was the bottom, but I shivered when I felt Takasugi roll behind me and push me onto my side…

I sat up and shunned away.

"I can't do that!"

Taka smirked. "Yes…you can do this… don't be such a kid…this is between you and me…."

"no."

"No? Zura? Say it louder. I can't hear you!!" His voice rose in a tantrum. All of a sudden, I had a flash of intuition. "Fuck you Takasugi!" I cursed. I realized that even if I was willing to fuck him for the next hundred years starting from this day, hour and minute, he'll only make me the less for it. I could already visualize the next day, he's going to say I led him on, manipulate me, and then betray me.

At that moment, I totally lost all interest in him.

Lust can strip me of everything, except my pride.

So I used a line that I knew repelled most motherfuckers who accosted me against my will. "You're right Takasugi. I'm not a kid anymore. In fact I just had sex the other day, and last week, and every other night before that. "

"… " Takasugi's face went completely slack, like a beast who's stalked the wrong prey.

Look at me, I'm Katsura, your fucking ex-comrade, not some fluffy white-winged angel. I flicked my hair back, held out my palm and looked about the room.

"The air temperature says its 4:44am … about the usual time I get home after doing the fan dance with my clients…"

"Clients?"

"Yeah, I get lonely too, I need to fuck –"

"_WHO?!_" Takasugi flinched, his hands loosened, they moved to my hips, and clutched them, but with noticeably less interest.

"Whomever at hand." I shrugged.

"You mean you-"

"Yes." I stared at him emotionlessly, then added, "For money."

His pupil glittered. "Impossible. "

"Ask Saigo."

"What about Saigo?"

"I'm his bitch."

"Fuck you." Takasugi scoffed gloomily. His lust completely faded, replaced by downturned lips. He looked sad, like a bored child. He stubbornly kept his paw on me though.

"Is this what you say to every guy stupid enough to approach you, Zura?"

I pulled his neck towards me, amused to see him avoiding my touch. I drew close to his ear, "What's the difference? I am still me. You're the one who couldn't see."

Leaning back on one arm, I fluidly rose to my feet. I looked down on Takasugi. He looked at me gloomily, legs spread out. I happened to be stepping on his robe. "Sorry," I made to step out. He caught my hand tightly.

"I'm not like the other guys." He softly stated. "Guys who can't see you don't deserve you." He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, looking up at me, "But hey... _Can you see me?_"

My eyes widened. I was momentarily speechless. "Hey. " I laughed gently, "Can you show me?"

"I thought I just did that." I met his eyes, he looked real, he didn't smile.

I looked away, feeling utterly gloomy and sick of him. He detected this and studied me calculatingly. My eyes aimlessly swept across the room until I noticed my black kaiken with golden Katsura crest lying in a corner. I walked over to retrieve it, thinking about my friends. My real friends. It would be ridiculous for me to elevate Takasugi to the same level as them, he wasn't even worthy of Mademoiselle Saigo… speaking of which I really ought to contact Saigo…

I picked up the kaiken, tried to stash it into my sash. Only then did I realize I was completely shirtless, the white underrobe hanging in tatters from my waist. Blood was messily clotted over my chest and arms. Whatever, I sighed, feeling numb.

I felt Takasugi swing his arm casually around my shoulder and squeeze. His commanding voice was again charming and light-hearted…and utterly fake. "Zura… I don't care who you've fucked before, just don't do that again. Don't ever touch anyone again…except for me."

_Che,_ he's still trying to get into my pants? "Honestly, I don't feel like touching anyone at the moment." I said. I balanced the kaiken in my palm like weighing out the scales of justice. I tossed it in the air then caught it with a martial arts flourish. "Ever seen a kaiken dance, Takasugi? How about I do one for you now?" I slowly withdrew the gleaming blade from its enamel sheath. What if I killed him, can I cut away these red strings?

"_Kukuku..._ I know you too well, Zura…Gintoki and I always knew your weakness." I shot him a murderous look. He smiled pleasantly."You give up too easily. When things don't go your way you think of seppuku…now how do you expect to find your fairytale lover this way, hmm?" He teased. Slowly, he slipped his butterfly yukata over my bloodied shoulders, then pulled me to his chest, comforting my body with his radiant heat, his scent of fields, his tight embrace. I turned my face away like a lifeless doll. The sadder I got, the happier he became, for he rubbed his nose affectionately against my cheek, then whispered into my ear.

"Unlike you Zura, I have faith. When I said a hundred years, I meant a hundred years."

He continued to hug me warmly as if to prove his patience. For about 3 or 4 minutes, we listened to the rocking of the boat and whistles from the wind. His steady heartbeats begun lulling me to sleep. I finally buried my face in his shoulder and hugged him back.

"Really?" I murmured.

I wasn't surprised when he burbled with demonic laughter.

_"With or without your heart!"_

_To be continued..._

---+

A/N: Special thanks to cclemon for your awesome fanart. I hope you liked this chapter *gulp*

First time doing SMUT, I hope it came out ok? orz..orz... Flames welcome too, I'll try harder next time! xP


	7. Chp 7: Listening

---+

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 7 : LISTENING  
**_

---+

If he's betrayed me once, he can do it again. My face was as cold as stone. Nobody's home.

"My neck hurts," I said mechanically. "You're too short."

"Kisama-"

I gasped when I felt something slither off my waist and tattered cloth swoosh to my feet. Takasugi had taken the sash from my old underrobe, bundled his yukata around me and tugged the knot so tightly it squeezed the air out of my lungs. Then he stepped back and smirked at his handiwork, a finger under his chin. Faint creaks approached on the gangway, we both looked up. There was a discreet knock and Bansai politely whispered from behind the shoji.

"Forgive me for interrupting, Shinsuke-sama. We are 20 minutes away from Kyoto. "

"Good. And our men?"

"Everything is going according to plan." His footsteps faded away.

"Oooh…" Takasugi smiled. "It seems like we ran out of time. I hate doing things half-_assed._ But half-assed is better than_ no_-ass, don't you agree? Kukuku~ "

"I'm going home."

"Where's your home, Zura?"

"_Edo."_

As I said the name of my beloved city, I felt my emotions return. "My home, I love it and I will protect it with all my heart." A samurai can only serve one master. That's why I can't love Takasugi. I am but a simple and stubborn man but knowing that just makes me feel all the better. To my surprise, Takasugi's smile was amused, but also openly admiring. He walked over to his shamisen, picked it up and sat down.

"Your attitude reminds me of a cute little maiko forced to leave her fishing village to become a geisha in Kyoto. Dragged away kicking and screaming, and sometimes…_worse._ How nostalgic." He strummed the shamisen lovingly. "You'd like the next place we're headed to. A teahouse in Gion called the "Ministry of Sound." A 500 people venue set up by the Amanto. There's a festival tonight and the party is still happening in full swing. Of course, you're the guest of honor."

"So is this how you recruit your goons?" I asked sarcastically. "There's a party at the Kiheitai, and everyone's invited. Please! Count me out."

"Awww…but if I couldn't fight with you…then I couldn't fall in love with you…"

"Don't say that."

"Relax, Zura. I have our date all planned out."

"So how many people does the Black Beast intend to kill on our "date"?" I interjected bluntly, folding my arms.

"One." Takasugi, raised his chin and tilted his head, eye crinkling. "His name is Katsura Kotaro."

"Stop teasing! I know you too well, you'll never emerge in daylight except to create a bloodbath. A big one. Your men from the Kiheitai aren't even samurai, they are no better than criminals with two swords. Ugh! You know what _I'll_ tell you what. Kyoto is not my territory but if plan to harm even a single innocent person, forgive me, I must interfere!"

"Are _you_ innocent, Zura?" Takasugi smoothly changed the subject.

"… H-Huh?"

"Let me make a prediction. You'd do anything to protect your pride, won't you? But at daybreak, you, from your own...sweet lips, _you'd scream for me to take you deep inside…"_

"…?!"

My heart gave a violent thump and eyes went bloodshot. I slid the shoji door wide open with a loud clack, letting in a blast of wet, salty wind which immediately blew out the candle. I stared furiously at the roaring waves, repelling my eyes like a murky wall of darkness. Then I saw a tiny golden halo in the distance, nestled between black undulating shapes of the Chosu mountains. A large concentration of light flickered outwards from the main party strip of Gion.

_It really is Kyoto._

"Are you hungry, Zura?" Takasugi's deep, velvety voice sounded very calm. He was still sitting at the same place.

"…No." I was a astonished, considering the last meal I ate was more than 12 hours ago.

"Are you thirsty?"

"No." Strangely, my body felt as light as air.

"Good, we won't have time to rest once we get ashore. But for now..." He strummed casually on the shamisen, then said in mock exasperation.

-

"_I want to talk to him, but he won't listen to me._

_Help me think of something, _

_shamisen string."_

_-  
_

Eh, those lyrics sounded vaguely familiar. Takasugi began strumming his shamisen lovingly... I recognized it now, he was playing a well-known geisha samisen piece, although the lyrics had been altered somewhat. I shut the shoji, sat down and steepled my fingers in front of my nose. Takasugi paused and recited the next phrase skillfully. And rather playfully.

-

"_In the morning I hid his kimono, _

_Your kimono is playing hide and seek~~~"_

_-  
_

B-B-BLEHHHH! It's "Do not Go." I trembled, loathing the touch of his silken yukata that still carried his scent.

-

"_A storm is coming, _

_See how underneath the twisting clouds_

_Swallows soar and sport?"_

_-  
_

Yeah right. Go "fly" on your own kite! The lyrics were embarrassingly suggestive if you read between the lines, but two can play this game. A geisha's game it's true, but I knew all the songs from my job as okama. But where could Takasugi have learnt all this? Come think of it doesn't he have some kind of "reputation" at the teahouses?This man...Is he promiscuous? I avoided the related sensations that flooded my body.

After a beat, I replied-

---+

**_Katsura:_**

A suffocating wind strips the red leaves off the Katsura tree

I walk to my doorstep,

Dew drips everywhere.

-

Heart on the defense, green chrysanthemum buds

Their sharp scent is disturbs my heart

And their green color.

-

A green petal floating on my cup of yellow sake

Doesn't make it golden.

-

**_Takasugi: _**

A butterfly tied by a red string,

Soaks up the bright sun.

At nightfall golden powder scatters from his wings,

Dark stars,

A starry snow of darkness.

-

The shining butterfly lands on a flower,

Their shadow lies inseparable on the white snow.

No words are said.

But the scent that the flower cannot hold,

Goes up to the butterfly

Who sees the innocent whiteness of the flower

Stained by his deep color.

-

**_Katsura: _**

It started with the Harusame,

One rainy night.

The smell of his body lingers in the air.

The clouds get darker

And my eyes are stormy.

Are we a pairing made of flower and butterfly?

Or enemies from the Joi and Kiheitai?

-

**_Takasugi:_**

My work is black,

I never show myself.

But I am excited about you,

You ask me to meet you on the open road, the high road.

But things are hidden in a black night.

Even the dream is black

On our pillow of black hair

Even our talk is hidden.

-

**_Katsura:_**

I wish to keep him, but he goes his own way

I call him back, but his blood calls louder.

The black beast emerges, he breaks everything

And sets them on fire.

He is leaving me, a world full of ash.

-

**_Takasugi:_**

One small spark is enough, more than,

To keep the beast satisfied.

I see him run through the snowstorm towards him

A big present in his jaws, white snow melts on his black fur.

And, on windy winter nights

When safe houses are few and far between

I need my little flaming lantern made of white paper.

My little red lantern

I couldn't do without it

Isn't that so, Zura?

I couldn't do without it?

-

---+

_To be continued..._

_---+  
_

A/N: I found a book called "Songs of the Geisha" ( /Gaysha :P ) the other day and I really liked them. I picked some for here, same form, half the words are new. Thanks cclemon for Zura's first comeback and for her wonderful fanart!

http://img25. imageshack. us/img25/6659/tk7. jpg OR http://www. gintamaworld. com/read. php?tid=10032


	8. Chp 8: Keeping

---+

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 8 : KEEPING  
**_

---+

_Kyoto. _

The city that never changes. But in 2 hours, it can change you. Maybe you might like it even better than Barcelona.

-

"No, Kyoto's better."

"I said Barcelona."

-

Two Amantos were arguing on the wooden bridge as Takasugi and I climbed up the stone steps leading from the canal. Bansai had dropped us off at a lesser-known area of Gion and drove off to find parking. Although it was five o'clock in the morning, I was astonished to see the main street full of cars and drunken Amanto celebrating loudly. Police were everywhere in their white patrol cars with flashing crimson lights. I gritted my teeth.

"But they have Ayumi!" The alien in front of us protested in a whiny voice. Orange streetlamps sieving through red autumn maples cast a shifting pattern of leaves across his unsteady form.

"And _they_ have Ibiza~~ eh? Eh? But even Ayumi goes Ibiza, see? See? Look at you, you're tempted! C'mon, let's go!"

"But I have to work on Monday!"

"Don't be boring! Live life at the drop of a hat, c'est la vie!"

"C'est la vie?" The other scoffed.

"Hey hey, we're still young!"

"Hmph, we were young _once._"

"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever~"

"Har har HA HARRRRR HAR HAR Hehehe!!!!!!" They both laughed like madmen.

-

"What do you think, Zura?" Takasugi turned towards me and smirked. We had reached the middle of the arched bridge. Casting a wary glance at the police guarding the crossroads, I paused and gazed into the slick purplish wavelets blowing across the Shirakawa canal. A growing wind made the foliage rustle sharply.

"I think it's embarrassing to joke about Ibiza at their age. Obviously they are trying to recapture some memory of the past." I filled my lungs with the night air. It was soft and warm; smelled of forests and salt... and a whole lot fresher than Edo. I felt strange though, light and vulnerable, as if tripping on air. I traced my finger down the silvery ridges of worn wooden railing; Cedar; and easily over a hundred years old… "Even if they went back, I doubt they'll find what they were looking for."

"Always so politically correct, aren't you?"

Takasugi's tone made my hand tighten around the katana at my sash, but it wasn't there. Of course not, it hadn't been there the whole night. I folded my arms and looked sideways. Shinsuke carried no weapons either. Observing me, he smiled.

"No bloodstains on cold steel tonight, for my dear Zura…or at least I'll try."

I shrugged. "I just want to make my point; if they were serious about Ibiza, they wouldn't joke about it. They'd just do it. If I really wanted to visit Kiyomizodera Temple…" I indicted the famous landmark with a nod of my head, eyes following the streets that led uphill to the East – it_ was_ the East, I hope, it's too dark to tell for sure…_ahem._ "Then I'd just go, why debate about it? But then, why would I want to go back again?"

"Are you referring to the time Shouyou-sensei brought us to Kyoto when we were twelve…?"

-

Dry golden sunlight dappled the sandy courtyard, the flashing glare of the water fountain as dizzy as mirrors. It was so crowded that morning we arrived at the hilltop, everyone was sweaty and we weren't supposed to be running around, but we all did. Crashing against the handrails, almost flying off, I finally saw the city from high above. A majestic panorama was displayed at my feet. A fine imprint of grey-tiled rooftops, orderly gridwork of streets criss-crossed by diagonal canals and rivers, flowing towards the sea far to the west. I heard an odd, stirring symphony fill my ears._ All this belongs to me; made by me; and changed by me. Am I really as big as all this? And as beautiful?_ Shouyou-sensei's teachings all made sense in a single moment.

-

"It was the trip of a lifetime. We were kids. But so what if we went back? _So what?_ My friends are already gone, my faction is sidelined, and Shouyou's work remains undone."

I felt the railing creak as Takasugi leaned back against it, the weight of his eye forcing me to look back. "Do I detect bitterness?" he smirked. "Then you're no better than me, because you want revenge. Don't pretend you're so honest and upright, you're just hiding. But I don't blame you, you've been treated like royalty since you were young. I understand, you have to keep up…_appearances_." His smile broadened. "Then why do you like working at Saigo's Okama place so much? Because it lets you pretend to be someone else for once? Making all the young men fall in love with you, but you never loved any of them back."

"I-I don't!"

Takasugi's eye narrowed and bore down on me, his lips drooped. I flushed, backing away instinctively. Police checkpoints at all exits, this thing with him unresolved. Escape was not an option, was it? "I like being at Saigo's bar. I like my clients, and I respect the okamas." I maintained, clenching my jaw. "And I like entertaining them…I really do…" I began to tremble, finally realizing the true path that I have unconsciously been walking upon. "I'm passing from _bushido_…to_ chonindo._ I'm finally a _chonin_ now." I whispered._ Chonindo_…The way of the townspeople. That's the path we're on, Gintoki, Sakamoto and I …

-

_Nobody betrayed your love, Shinsuke; you're the one who rejected everyone walking on a different path from yours. Choose another path, Shinsuke, one that doesn't lead to destruction._

_Choose it, and I'll gladly meet you halfway._

_-  
_

Don't be naïve. He'll never accept Chonindo. And he has already broken Bushido. He'll betray you again. What do you expect? I shook my head, silencing the negative voices in my head. "If there's something I really want, I won't tell anyone about it, but I'll still go for it with all my heart."

"You'll never tell anyone about it?" Takasugi's deep voice prompted.

_Kyaah!_ I had spoken my thoughts aloud!

"Tell me…" his tone was sharp, followed by a low chuckle.

"Not you…"

"Why not?"

"The thing about keeping a secret… if you tell anyone your wish, it will never come true."

"You believe that?"

"That's the reason why I'll never tell you."

"Does your secret have anything…to do with _me?_"

"It has to do with all of us… _Joi patriots._"

"Joi patriots…?" Takasugi's face turned serious and he folded his arms, gazing into trees overhanging the bridge. Their branches swayed back and forth, red and brown leaves pelted crisply from the inky sky and scuttled across our feet, spinning towards the noise and lights in the distance. No doubt about it, there was an Amanto gathering in Gion, possibly an "entertainment night" held by the Bakufu to conclude yet another unfair trade agreement.

"I'm tired of being chased like a criminal. I want to do something productive, something lasting for our country."

"Whereas I….just want to burn it down~"

I glared at him, his eyes were dark and wide, following the water in the canal flowing into the darkness. In an oddly magnetic tone, he commented."The empty red flames of Shura...When you hate something so much that the darkness becomes part of your soul, the only way to let go is to burn it all away." His pose was arrogant, a smile curled at his lip. Even his robe looked different, the scarlet material and ceremonial gold threads; open mandarin collar and those jagged lapels strongly reminded me of the _jinbaori _campaign jacket of his youth…

"Come with me, let's burn it down together."

…when he used to be so handsome.

"If there's anything I want to burn into your mind, its common sense." I snapped, rejecting his sudden invitation. "It's clear the Joi have become Japanese fighting against the Japanese, and only the Amanto benefit."

"Then what should we do, sensei?" He asked mockingly.

"We need the backing of the Emperor."

"He's a puppet."

"He can issue an official pardon."

"You too? You want an Imperial pardon?"

"Our country desperately needs to be strengthened. The Joi have a lot of talented men, but first, we need to be legitamized. And our fallen comrades enshrined."

"Enshrined? I did that already. First thing I did at the Kiheitai camp. I thought their angsty screams would never end."

"Our comrades were happy to die for a just cause, all they seek is recognition."

"…"

"…"

Even for Shinsuke. From the look on his face, I can tell he still has a heart.

Unconsciously, my hand reached out…

"Don't give me that face!" Takasugi screamed, snapping me out of my trance. He approached, trapping me against the railing. I flinched, fingers curling into fists. What's the matter with him now?! He raised his chin and smirked down at me, unruly black hair curling over the left part of his face. His right eye was narrow and glinted venomously, while his hair rustled, flickering with fine brown light.

He roughly gripped my wrists and pressed his right cheek to mine.

"If I get you what you want, will you stay with me?" His deep voice whispered into my ear.

"…" I frowned, suddenly frightened. "You should do it for our comrades, not for selfish reasons."

"I can only be motivated by selfish reasons…is that wrong?"

"…"

He drew his face back, but his body was closer than ever.

"You keep secrets too, that's selfish. Why, I'll bet your own secret has nothing to do with the Joi, isn't it? What a load of crap."

"…"

"It's for somebody you love."

"…" My lips parted. Could he have realized something even I didn't?

"Heh, your face is so fucking easy to read. And you probably can't tell me because it's someone you'd like to _fuck._" I was startled by the rage in his voice and dark, vicious expression. But in a moment he had arrogantly forced out a smirk and placed his index finger on my lips.

"Don't tell me."

"…"

To my surprise his eye softened and he chuckled, almost to himself. Brilliant red maple leaves floated over us, fluttering like excellent moths.

"Because I want your dream to come true."

Takasugi let go of me and walked away, laughing again as if highly amused. Flicking out a paper fan from under his robe, he made a swift, slashing motion. A maple leaf dropped into the water and split cleanly into two.

-

"If the world is boring, then let us make it interesting!!" (1)

-

At first I was silenced by amazement, then chuckled, then burst straight out laughing._ He's not that bad after all..._

From the gloomy face of a malicious child, he quoted a poem fit for a teen.

_Cute._

-

-

_To be continued..._

---+

(1) Real words by Takasugi Shinsaku: おもしろき こともなき世に おもしろ/Let us make an uninteresting world interesting.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait between chp 7 & 8! Next chapter will be posted very soon. Thanks Orange-Maple for telling me about Takasugi's poem a long time ago, I knew I had to use it somehow! And big thanks to cclemon for the encouragement. Your Zura artwork made me write a lot faster! xDXD


	9. Chp 9: Meeting 2

_**A/N:** Thanks Maydn for pointing out my mistakes! XD Sorry for the long intro but this chp is a little different from the last. We leave the events in Kyoto and follow Takasugi's POV for a couple of chps. But we'll return to Kyoto and Katsura's POV for the finale.  
_

_**Change in POV: **Takasugi's 3rd Person POV. _

_**Chp Title "Meeting 2" :** It's got nothing to do with "Chp 1: Meeting" although the name is almost exactly the same. It just indicates that Taka & Zura's relationship is entering a new "cycle". They'll have another round of "Meeting 2/Fighting 2/Playing 2..." etc. XDXD But this time the boys are Thirteen Years Old, living in Edo in the throes of political upheaval after the arrival of the Amanto "Black Ships". Shouyou-sensei will be showing up later on; as well as the younger versions of the Kiheitai, including Kamotaro Itou (Oh Itou~)  
_

_**Why the Blast from the Past? **I wanted to see how how Taka & Zura's relationship will affect the people around them. But it can't happen in the space of one night in Kyoto, at least not without some flashback so I thought I'd haul the whole damn thing to the past, to the moment they were awakened to the troubles facing their country and decided to take active part in changing it.  
_

_**AU Alert: **__The year is "1854__".__Bansai's past is all made up :P__ More historical facts from "http:// red-bird. org/ meiji/"  
_

_**Warning: Violent Swordplay**  
_

_---+_

_-_

_-  
_

_Bansai x Takasugi_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 9: MEETING 2**_

_**-**_

_**-  
**_

_---+_

_Flashback to 8 days ago, just before the "Benizakura Battle". At this point everyone thinks that Katsura is dead.  
_

Just before dawn, a small cargo ship could be seen cruising eastward over the mountains of Kyoto toward Edo. It looked insignificant, like a tiny silver star about fade away like the rest of its companions. But in reality, this was a Kiheitai warship in camouflage, en route to a mission of awe and terror.

A lone figure stood at the prow, arms folded arrogantly, eyes staring up at the banner of red unfurling across the horizon. The sky was clear, cloudless indigo, while the land a dark misty brown, rendering the glowing vermillion aura even more vivid, even lurid. Any moment now, the rebel expected the first rays to emerge, shredding the darkness to bits.

The steady breeze ruffling Takasugi's jacket suddenly dropped to nothing. When it picked up again, it blew from the reverse, even though the ship was still moving forward. Every pore on Takasugi's skin stood on end, as if splashed by icy water. His clothes began to billow forwards, like sails filled by a warm, eerie wind carrying the scent of blood. _It's you again._ He didn't need to turn around to know who his visitors were. He was familiar with them, these goblins bubbling up from a lake of gore, testing his resolve at his weakest moments. Since he recognized them as none other than his closest friends while they were alive, he used to be confused, and let them torment him. But even masochism has its limits.

"Back so soon, my comrades?" Takasugi asked calmly, even maliciously considering that they were his former friends. "Or did you get lost on your way to the afterlife?"

The reply was the dirge of chains dragged across the floorboards. Hardened as he was, Takasugi had a phobia of chains, words can't describe the way his stomach fell at the sound. In an instant, his sword sprang out of its scabbard. Pulling his spirit together, he smirked. "Now that's convenient, because I'm headed the same way myself…" He directed the tip of his sword at the brightest spot in the glowing atmosphere, the blade blended with the background then re-emerged with a deeper brilliance, as if wet.

"See it?"

"That's the spot."

"Now go and die!" Takasugi turned and bounded into their midst, proving to them he was just as savage and demonic as they were, if not more so. In short order, he had slain several of them. Streaks of light were followed by slices of bone and flesh scattered across the deck. Guys who used to run and hide from him while alive might well reconsider doing so again now that they had turned into ghouls. Appeals were useless. The dead belonged to the dead. No one was going to hold him back, Amanto or Yamato, Bakufu or Joi, friend or foe.

All the charging and thrusting, whirling and striking was wearing him out. His strength beginning to fade, he beat a slow retreat, staying out of range while attempting to herd the jostling horde into a more advantageous position. Now it was their turn to pressure him relentlessly, empty orbs glowing with bloodlust.

Scanning the wall of attackers for an opening, Takasugi spied a young man was standing apart from the crowd, looking sorrowfully down the side of the ship into the depths. Long, wind-swept hair obscured his face, his katana was smeared with blood and pointed downwards. But because of his youth and class, his skin gleamed snowy-white and his physical attitude exceptionally refined.

_Zura?! What's he doing here? This is the land of the dead. Zura, get away from here!_

He froze in realization. _Don't tell me he doesn't know how to get to the other side? Or is he like the others, just waiting to take me down? No, he won't do that to me, he won't! Besides I can't feel any evilness coming from him. So what is he doing here?!_

From a distance the other man lifted his big brown eyes and looked directly at him.

What he saw in Zura's eyes put Takasugi in a panic. He lost control for the first time and lashed out blindly.

"Take that, you traitor!"

Making barely a whistle, his blade would glide through the air with amazing lightness, graze through the feathery strands of black hair, and bury its thirsty edge into his neck. Dark crimson blood would splash onto the floor and he would step on it, crush his disheveled kimono, and trample upon his long hair spread out like a cloud. He looks so serene, as if peacefully asleep, except for the fresh blood that continued to spill from his bluish-white lips like a large red peony…

Perhaps, fascinated by how it might taste like, he would fall on one knee, and with his right hand, grasp the luxuriant tresses, then bend his head towards his face….

_Is this love? Or is this hate?_

_---+_

"_S-stop it!"_ Takasugi screamed mentally, right fist pummeling something warm and hard lying next to him. Even he wasn't so perverted! It was all Katsura's fault. Nizou did good to sever the useless object from its hairbrained owner.

"Shinsuke…what the fuck?" mumbled Bansai's sleepy voice. Ignoring the painful punch with a soft sigh, he wrapped his arms around his boss's feverish body.

Takasugi heard his question but deliberately remained silent, still held in thrall by his disturbing dream. No, to be honest it wasn't simply a dream, it was a downright sickening sadistic fantasy necrophilia scenario and he knew it. What the fuck is wrong with me?!?! He took advantage of his subordinate's closeness to bury his head into his chest, and while he was at it, to hook a slim white leg over his hips. Damn, Bansai automatically caught hold of it. Well nevermind, he was ok like that for the moment. He needed a good strong whiff of Bansai's scent to erase the sickly sweet smell of blood that enveloped his mind in a haze. Like a cat, Takasugi ran his tongue roughly over the musician's exposed chest, then rubbed his nose in it. _Hmph. Over here, it smells like leather. There, where he spilled some cologne two days ago. And here…it smells like nothing. I mean, the original Bansai's smell. _

"Shinsuke…?" Bansai flinched a little, startled by his leader's extra attention. His eyes, now fully awake, glittered with a light that was oddly attractive. Through long habit, Takasugi could sense, rather than see, the veins coursing beneath his smooth muscled skin begin to palpitate with a rising drumbeat. Caressing his shoulder, Bansai's fingers slipped down his forearm and covered his clenched fist. He twisted his wrist and toyed with his calloused fingers before allowing them to intertwine with his lover's, no_, __Part-time lover's_ hand. But when he looked up into Bansai's face, was forced to admit that there was nothing fake about the heat radiating from his palms to his, or from his eyes. His own pupils glittered fixedly in response and his chest began to heave more heavily now that his partner's familiar form overshadowed him…

One kiss, two torn yukatas and a futon pounded into little rolling humps of cotton served as a strange drug that made everything perfect again.

Only Bansai knows how he looks during those unguarded moments. But Takasugi doesn't make it easy on him. Once he's fallen back to earth, he slips away to have a smoke all by himself. Like now.

"Oh well…" Bansai's expression seemed to say as he pulled on his clothes, "I guess that's just the way that it is. Doesn't bother me." They had started this as a casual diversion, neither imagining it would last even a couple of sessions. Yet it's already been three years. "He's better as a leader than a lover," Bansai mused. "But I just can't forget about him even though I want to. He said I could leave anytime I wanted to, so it's only my own fault for sticking around if I'm not happy."

Being tall and well built, Bansai looked smart in pretty much anything he wore, in particular the black leather he favored. As he was about to leave, he went up to Shinsuke for his goodbye kiss. At first, it was just a courtesy on Bansai's part, but gradually, it became more important to him, times being what they were, who knew if this kiss would be their very last?

Takasugi was lounging against the porthole of his cabin, inspecting the awe-inspiring view of Edo from his perch 30,000 feet above ground level. Although it was well past midnight, the prominent flyovers were still coursing with traffic like slick, red and gold veins of a vast, hungry organism endlessly consuming and spewing out waste. Tomorrow they will attack the political heart of the system. Edo Castle, the seat of the Shogunate; The Imperial Palace ; The Shinsengumi Headquarters in suburbs of Mibu and more reluctantly, the headquarters of a minor Joi faction under the command of recently deceased Katsura Kotaro.

"Isn't that cruel? To attack your ex-comrades?" Bansai asked, knowing that the question would irk him, but then everything irked Shinsuke. Even the most sensitive person would be hard pressed to avoid anything that triggered his dark past, so Bansai had simply chosen to speak his mind at all times, to the extent of playing devil's advocate. Gradually though, perhaps out of trust, Takasugi found himself unable to get seriously mad at his subordinate no matter how frank he was.

"I would have left them alone, but they chose to fight against me, badly outnumbered as they are. I admire them though, on some level. Isn't it ironic how some men wouldn't betray their leader, even though their leader has betrayed the cause? That says something about the sort of person Katsura was. Fortunately for me, the Kiheitai isn't like this."

"I wonder…"

Bansai moved closer and caught Takasugi's lower lip. One arm crept to the small of his back while the other held his wrist. A moment later, there was a dull thud of pipe falling on the ground as Takasugi, forgetting appearances, wound one hand through Bansai's hair while the other gripped his collar for an unpredictably passionate kiss. Pressing his advantage, Bansai leaned forward until Takasugi's back arched and head craned as far back as it comfortably could. Takasugi began to squirm but Bansai took his time slowly licking Takasugi's upper lip, enjoying putting Takasugi in his place sometimes, to let him remember that he was only his follower out of his own free will, whether abilities, intelligence or family background, Bansai wasn't inferior to Takasugi in any way. And if he chose to follow him over the borderline between life and death, well, that would be his own decision wouldn't it?

"…Boss?" He whispered in to his mouth, it excited him to think he might be this devoted to someone, it was completely new and unusual for him, but he knew his feelings were real. He was only in the Kiheitai, even in Japan, for that matter, because of Shinsuke.

He could feel Takasugi's lean muscles chuckling underneath him. "Don't try to follow me, Bansai, or you might find yourself alone on the other side."

"If you're not there, where would you be?"

"When I'm here, I'm here, when I'm gone, I'm gone."

A vein popped in Bansai's forehead. Takasugi's words infuriated him. "If you're so carefree about dying, then why did you set up a shrine at the Khiheitai Camp?"

"That's to comfort the living, not the dead."

"And you call yourself a living person?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"When you're here, you're here?! No, you're not, you're never here!" Even Bansai was shocked by the vehemence of his outburst. Since when had he been feeling like this? Gotten frustrated at Shinsuke, demanded him to put more effort on his part, needed him to give him more than his body. "Are you really here? Then where were you when you were crying in your sleep? I try to get you away from the past but you seem to enjoy wallowing in it!"

Takasugi's furious glare was instinctual, his hatred total. Any other person would have been put in his place by a quick dance of the katana, much less preserved their bonds of friendship, but Takasugi was at the stage where he trusted Bansai fully, even secretly considered him his best friend. Tch. "Friends" indeed. They had gotten too close, become too alike. When he first met Bansai, he was simply a Trance-loving adrenaline addict, detached to the point of autism. That made him the perfect tool. But he's really grown up, hasn't he? Who's the immature one now?

"Takasugi." Bansai cradled his arms around Takasugi, so earnest Takasugi couldn't meet his eyes. "When will you tell me what happened to you during the Amanto War? Or about your family, or how you lost your eye? Why is that so much harder than getting you naked?"

Instead of replying, Takasugi stroked his fingers through Bansai's spiky hair. But his intention wasn't to soothe, it was to sting. He wound a strand around his forefinger and tightened, but not to the point of pain.

"You don't have long hair." He stated in low, repressed voice.

"No, I don't." Bansai raised an eyebrow, confused.

Takasugi's eye took on that deep, hypnotic glow that appeared when he was about to take him over the edge.

Bansai understood, and nodded. "Tell me."

"I once had a wish, I wanted to wake up every morning, with his long hair wrapped around my arm, around my wrist, around my fingers. Every part of our body touching and we'll never be separated. This is all I ever wanted and now I can't have it because Katsura is dead!"

Bansai was surprised. So surprised he didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what to think or how he felt. At this moment, his cell buzzed. A message from one of their allies under his command.

"It's Itou-sensei." A mocking smile played upon Bansai's lips and he shot a glance at Takasugi. "He's lonely."

"So you're going to comfort him now?"

Bansai observed Takasugi, but didn't see what he wanted to see. For once, he didn't look upon meeting Itou as a chore. He was happy to be with anyone, other than Takasugi right now.

"Yeah."

"Have fun..."

"I will." Bansai sighed, walking towards the door. One hand on the exit, he turned and said with a laugh. "Will you save a story for me when I get back, Shinsuke?" Takasugi's persistence was now ingrained into his personality or maybe he had always been like that, just didn't know it.

"I don't know." Takasugi immediately said, surprising himself. The answer was obviously "no", but he found himself unable to say "no" to Bansai on this issue. "I'm turning into a coward," he thought. "I'm afraid to lose."

"Bansai, Don't think of me like a normal person, or you'll just end up hurting your feelings."

A refusal. Well that was only to be expected.

"I don't think I can sleep with you anymore, I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"Thanks for the memories."

Takasugi stared at him quizzically as if struggling with a new concept: that he was capable of forming new memories.

"A girl could never have turned my head the way you do. I don't know why, but I'm drawn to you, like a moth to a flame."

While descending down to the Edo metropolis, Bansai stared at the glittering silver specks in the night sky and their reflection on earth.

The cold wind carried away an uncharacteristically warm emotion.

"_No regrets."_

_---+_

Takasugi lit up his long-stemmed pipe again. White smoke wafted through the room, shimmering with flecks of purple and gold. Why can't I tell Bansai about my past? Surely there's no harm in it. He even asked about it, which shows he actually cares. And who the hell wants to know about my past anyways? Even I don't.

_Stop it. Be fair, you know they care._ As a leader of three hundred and fifty three strong Kiheitai forces, he had no right to indulge in such pathetic thoughts. Although he had created the group from a bunch of criminals and social sub-elites, only with the intention of using them to achieve his goal, with time, the members had gradually formed a sort of bond. When he was with them, he was happy, wasn't he? Happier than he had ever been since the Amanto War ended. In a twisted way, they were like family, weren't they? Closer than he had ever been to his real family. And at the bottom line, didn't he achieve more military victories with them? More victories than the last samurai who bravely charged at the Amanto canons wielding bows and arrow. So why doesn't he appreciate them even a little bit more than his "old" friends, most of whom are already dead, and those that refused to die have to be slain night after night?

_Bansai offered you a new life, you ought to know that. _

_Try and take his hand..._

_Why don't you?  
_

Maybe he did like Bansai, if only a tiny bit. The room felt like a vacuum now that he was gone. The red warning beacons on top of the skyscrapers continued to blink monotonously, whether anyone was there to observe them or not. They were dreadful. Abruptly, he rolled down the shades, plunging the room into smoky darkness. The end of his pipe glowed cherry red, then faded softly. The smoke curled into the air like ghostly petals of a spider lily. They grew into a field of white lilies, wafting in the breeze.

_Bansai says he's like a moth to a flame. Little does he know that I'm the same…_

At the last part of his dream, his heart had been hopelessly enchained by the gentle red sun shining from Katsura's eyes deep into his soul.

_---+_

_-  
_

_-_

_Everyone who was born within the pale of our Empire must know the reason why it is called the Great Empire of Japan._

_Isn't our Imperial Dynasty something that has been going on forever from time immemorial, in one single unbroken line?_

_Vassals of His Majesty received their domains from one generation to another. Rulers have been feeding the people, and so we must be grateful for it, and we are greatly indebted to them._

_Rulers and the people are of one body. Loyalty to the ruler and filial piety to the parents are one and the same thing. In this world, our country is the only one that possesses this character._

_As the Imperial line has been so from the beginning of time, our loyalty must also be maintained forever......_

_This is Loyalty. This is the way of the samurai._

_(Yoshida Shoin,1830-1859)_

_-_

_-_

Takasugi, thirteen years old, propped his cheek in his palm. Sometimes, Shouyou-sensei's teachings left him cold.

The ruler feeds us, so we're loyal to him. But it just means I'm loyal to the food, not to him. Forget about filial piety…I don't love my parents at all, I know if my father dies, I won't even shed a tear. Maybe even rejoice…

His pupils shifted slightly to the corner of his eyes, where he caught a glimpse of a fascinating object. Katsura Kotaro. His big brown eyes were sparkling bright as he concentrated on every word in the textbook. He probably loves what he's reading, the freaking picture-perfect-prefect- role-model-person. Even his life is like a fairytale. Although born into a low-ranking samurai family like the rest of us, when he was nine years old, he was so cute that he was selected to be "Edo Festival Boy", the kid dressed in fancy ancient robes going from house to house making New Year greetings. For that, he had been conferred the honorary rank of a member of the Imperial Family of the 5th rank.

As Takasugi brooded through downcast lashes, he noticed that Katsura's eyes weren't really brown at all. Reflections played across his serene eyes like a canvas, making it hazel, green, golden, ever changing. His face was fair, but tips of his nose were slightly pink and so were his lips. As a cloud passed by the window, dimming the light that streamed into the classroom, the deep blue-grey of his kimono deepened into black, and his dark brown hair glistened.

Their autumn days were warm, but Zura wore a scarf around his neck. He had been wearing it all week. Is he hiding something?

Suddenly, as if finally unable to stand Takasugi's probing look any longer, Katsura looked up and frowned. Takasugi grinned. There we have it, the annoying "proud prince" look on his face. Me likes.

Right after class ended, Katsura hurried alone toward the back of the school. Being somewhat obsessed about his classmate, he followed out of curiosity.

"Zura! Wait for me, Zura!"

"Takasugi-kun. What are you doing here?"

"Nothing, where are you going?"

"Edo- _uwah!"_

Katsura's scarf got whipped off by the breeze and flattened itself against Takasugi's face.

When he handed it over, he was shocked to see faded black bruises on Katsura's neck.

"Yikes!" He pointed. "That looks ugly!"

"I got injured while training."

"Did someone squeeze your neck?"

There was a flash of hurt in Zura's eyes. Without further ado, Zura dashed down the grassy path. Takasugi plunged after him in hot pursuit. Their boarding school was located in a temple in a tiny mountain village north of Edo, about 30 kilometers from downtown Edo. It took half a day's walk to get to Edo and Katsura never used to go back, but recently he's been down there every weekend.

Finally Zura spun around, his wooden sword in hand.

"I'm warning you, Takasugi, stop following me!"

"Is this an invitation?" Takasugi grinned, pulling out his own wooden sword. "By the way, there's no one around, so you may cry as loudly as you want when I kick your ass."

Zura seemed relieved. "If all you want is a duel, I'm happy to oblige. But I intend to reach Edo before nightfall. If you don't mind, let's have our match on Monday instead."

"What are you doing in Edo?"

"None of your business."

"Take me with you."

"You won't be interested, I'm just gonna…" Katsura blushed beet red, unable to hide his innate honesty while obviously thinking of some excuse to get rid of his pushy classmate. "Uh, I joined a downtown poetry society, it's only old men and unemployed ronin sitting around drinking. It'll bore you to death."

"Heh, if a teahouse is so boring why are you going there?"

Katsura shrugged. "Because I like tea?"

"Well then, my fine tea-loving friend. Which teahouse are you headed to?"

"Why you! You're persistant, you know that?" He knocked aside Takasugi's hand which reached for his collar. "It's at the Sakuranya, but it's members only." He blurted out, throwing his hands in the air as if to get rid of him.

"Really, I want to join too, take me with you!"

"No!"

"C'mon, at least walk together? I was headed for Edo myself!"

"Then be quiet, I have to rush." Seemingly resigned to his unwanted companion, Zura broke into a run. Takasugi had terrible lungs but he made a big effort to keep up. An hour later, they reached the outskirts of Edo and it became harder to follow Zura through the busy traffic. Half and hour later, Takasugi finally gave up. Crowds, hand-carts and palanquins mixed in a chaotic whirl, but no Zura. His chest heaved like it was about to burst. He leaned one hand against the wall of a shophouse and closed his eyes, panting hard. Warm sweat plopped from his forehead liberally onto the ground.

"Shit, I've lost him." But he mentioned the Sakuranya, so all I have to do is ask around. The idiot can't tell a lie to save his life. he chuckled mockingly. "Baka~"

"Baka!" A boy about his age was jumping up and down in front of him, anxiously pointing at his feet, his cheeks were flushed from trying to tell him something but lacking the vocabulary to do so. "Bakaaaaa!!"

"What the-?" Takasugi stared at him, still out of breath and seeing stars. What a strange-looking boy. His face was Japanese, his clothes gorgeous with family crest and wearing two swords. Nice ones. But he can't speak Japanese!

He boy finally burst out. "Sie gehen auf meine Drachen!" and tugged at his feet. He realized he was stepping on a fine looking Rokkaku six-sided fighter kite whose wingspan was easily a few feet over his full height. It was painted with a Tengu ascending a stormcloud. The demon's face looked even more contorted now that it was decorated by dust from his sandals "Whoa! Domo!" Takasugi cried, jumping out of the way. There was a distinct crack from the bamboo spine, followed a sound of connecting fists.

Oops.

"_Verdammt nochmal!!"_

They started to brawl right on the streets. That was his first meeting with Kawakami Bansai. An Edo boy shipwrecked in Prussia and brought back home on one of the Amanto Black Ships. Neither of the two brats realized that their chance meeting, like the joining of two rivers flowing south, was destined ninety-one years later to wash the Pacific Ocean in a tide of red.

On that day, the sky over the clustered warships turned jet black in a matter of minutes. Invisible to human eyes, Tengu gnawed on fire and burst into flames. First one, then two or three large Tengu mounted the black wind and flew into the sky. Then smaller Tengu appeared, numerous beyond number, rampaging from cloud to cloud. As the fire rained down, the warships exploded into smoldering bonfires. Burning embers gushed skyward like a cloud of red snow in the billowing wind.

Surveying the nation from on high, the biggest Tengu of all let out a barbarous boom of glee.

_Ku ku ku…_

_---+_

_To be continued…_

_A/N: I guess most readers might be going " Whoa...What the heck?!" at this point 0_0;;; _

_orz orz....that's not my intention, obviously. Let me know if there are some parts I might want to fix. Hope you review anyways...esp BanTaka fans! Woot! I keep coming back to BanTaka as my fave pairing although I love TakaZura too. Yey August 10 is coming and there'll be lots of Taka doujins up at Silver Soul. Can't wait to read 'em!  
_

_BTW Bansai's German isn't entirely correct either xD;;  
_


	10. Chp 10: Fighting 2

**A/N: **_Yey 10th Chp! If you're still reading the story thus far. Thank you! :D _

Next few chps explores how Taka got his charisma. His first meeting with Bansai, Itou, Nizou, Henpeita & Matako during the course of one night in Edo + saves Katsura-kun's life, too ;) **Chp 10 is a flashback chp. Chp 11 is the direct continuation of Chp 9. Warning:** Some Horror/Angst/Supernatural/ in the opening section. Miserable Tak-kun has a death wish…Is it disturbing? Or amusing? You decide...

_- - - - - -+_

_Shouyou-sensei & Takasugi-kun_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 10 : FIGHTING 2**_

- - - - - -+

_(Flashback to one summer a year ago, when Takkun was Twelve. This might explain the "loyalty" quote mentioned in the last chp)_

_-  
_

"You're a bad boy, Takasugi-kun."

It was all Katsura-kun's fault. He shouldn't have said such tactless things.

"Your parents have done so much for you, but what have you done for them?"

"Your country has done so much for you, how will you show your loyalty?"

His criticism, delivered in a tone of extreme refinement and exceeding arrogance, made Takasugi-kun go crazy. _"You don't deserve to know,"_was his quiet response, but even Katsura-kun could sense that was because Takasugi-kun was keeping a tight lid on his emotions seething underneath. So he apologized and left, unaware that his classmate would brood on it all afternoon and all night. Katsura-kun had meant no harm, he was just attempting warn Takasugi-kun that selfishness was bad and that he ought to start appreciating other people for a change.

If he only knew where he was coming from, he might have regretted it. But then again, how could he have known? When it came to Takasugi-kun's past, everything was hidden. Who could have known the littlest comment would set off an irreparable chain of self-destruction?

Like an avalanche, a dark notion tumbled through Takasugi-kun's subconscious, gathering momentum, growing larger and larger, scarier and scarier. He was helpless before the mountain-sized obsession; all he could do huddle into a ball, in a corner of his single room, covering his ears. He was waiting for nightfall, when darkness gave him the privacy needed for him to…_escape. _As soon as the bell rang 8pm, hour of Dog, he clutched a dagger to his chest and crawled cravenly out the door. Scurried down the outer corridor, hopped off the veranda and skated down the open plaza, the smooth flagstones gleaming with moonlight as if sprinkled by a layer of frost. He shot past the stone Torii gate and chased its finger of a shadow down the long flight of stairs leading to the valley below, toward the forest of black pines that cloaked the shoreline like a fur-lined vest. The vast opal ribbon of the Okawa River… spanned limitlessly across the open land...

Running, leaping…almost free-falling.

The adrenaline in his veins made his footfalls as light as a fox.

Pebbles and pine needles dislodged by his movement pelted down the steep staircase as if carried by a temporary stream after rainfall.

The full moon fastened herself to Takasugi-kun and followed him everywhere he ran. At times emerging; at times hiding as she traveled behind the humps of rolling hills. One moment she's pure white; and the next thing you know, she's a lurid vampiric pink. He saw a smoky cloud swallow her face; she looked dressed in a tarnished gold veil that deepened into a frothy gown of red. Soon afterwards, a velvety black eyepatch drifted over her face and cut her hazy hues in half.

Eyes...they look like eyes, those devouring eyes, those disapproving eyes, it's -- Father's eyes, his aggressive, domineering stare. That watery eye, it's Mother's …submissive, teary eyes! No! - ugh!"

"Stop frowning at me! Stop looking at me like that, you stupid!" he protested weakly. He flung an arm over his arm and cowered against the stone steps, terrified of what might happen if he let go, he'll go insane, that's for sure. "_Stay away from me," _he shrieked mentally_, "Stop making me feel guilty!" _He got up and ran again, but he was running in circles, his mind was trapped in an obsessive cycle, like the moon. He was losing his sanity, _he knew it!_

Running, leaping, falling…

Pebbles dropping, tumbling down.

After what seemed like an eternity of floating, (more like having his emotions being kicked around like a paper ball), he arrived on solid ground, the grove of pines at the shore of the river. Good thing no one was around, even if they tried to approach, the silence was so perfect he would be able to hear or feel any disturbance from a mile away. _I'm safe…no one can sneak up on me…to get close to me and stab me in the back._ Breathing hard, he leaned his back against a tree trunk and slid down, legs stretched out like a broken doll. The carpet of fallen pine was soft, smooth and thick.

Tears flowed down his cheeks. He wasn't really sad, just… needed the release. "I'm all alone. No one loves me." He said aloud, and laughed. How pathetic, he knew it. He laughed again, maliciously.

_A Lack of Love._

It's that simple.

Pathetic! Hahaha!

In his mind, he let his two dark tormentors tower before him again. They were not like ordinary human beings, but were huge, nebulous figures, as tall as a mountain and heavy as a waterfall pounding on his head…ready to envelop him, crush him and grind him down to dust…. He heard voices.

"_What rotten shell of a human you are…I hate being alone with myself…please let me forget….What a puny ant I am…"_

He slowly unsheathed his dagger. Its blade was blunt, having previously been sanded down for this very purpose…slowly, agonizingly; he dug the straight edge into his soft, childish skin. At first nothing could be seen, so he had to repeat the act, with a sigh of patience like a cynical old farmer plowing his fields. His lips curved with satisfaction when he noticed that the wounds had finally puckered up and released little round beads of blood, as precious as rubies, the sad harvest that feeds a sadistic heart.

_Death…_

_My best friend…_

A cool, peaceful darkness enveloped his soul…for a quiet minute, he was able to let it all go, making scratches in soothing rows, following the river's flow~~~

His pupils dilated happily.

_Truly my best friend…_

His mood flipped from angst to excitement. He spoke aloud to himself. "If I'm such a bad boy, then shall I make you happy and kill myself, and spare you the burden of raising me?"

No, he hadn't aimed for his neck, but high up on his thigh, where no one can see.

"As if I'm going to end it in such a pathetic way!"

"Do you know how hard it was for me to just to survive to this age, you bastard!"

Takasugi was Twelve.

He flung the dagger far away, to remove the temptation to indulge in further…acts. One night he went as far as to carve a smiley face on his forearm, which in retrospect was highly embarrassing.

"You beat me when I was young? Hehe…just you wait, when you're an old man and I'm a young man, then it's my turn— to beat you!"

"Hahaha! I'm going to make you pay!" he shouted loudly. Although he didn't mean it seriously, he couldn't help visualizing it. One night of red paint splattered on cream shoji, a searing wind blowing away the burning remains of a family home…

"Gehh!" At that instant, his insides clenched in pain and he fell to his palms and knees. It's not possible to wish destruction on those you still loved and not feel equal hopelessness.

_Deprived of home; devoid of hope. _

Warm droplets splattered upon the ground.

What was that?

_It's not me…_

One drop sparkled on the glassy pile of pine needles, another landed on his head, he scrambled up and spun round and round, but he could see no one in the grove of pines. In front of him, the riverbank was deserted…

"Who is it?!" he yelled.

"Takasugi-kun."

A calm gentle voice, oddly familiar. "S-Shouyou-sensei?"

"Takasugi-kun…Takasugi-kun! Up here!"

Shouyou-sensei was leaning against a branch, white robes and white hair floating with bluish-white luminescence in the softly swaying pine branches.

**_"SHOUYOU-SENSEI!!" _**Takasugi screamed. He turned pale, then blushed red all the way to the roots of his hair. So he has seen him..rant and curse his parents? _Oh god, what will he think of me now?_

Shouyou-sensei threw a twig at the startled boy. "Hush, Takasugi-kun. You look like you've seen a ghost! Sorry for startling you." His voice was kind and he hid his chuckle behind his sleeve.

"What are you doing here, sensei?"

Shouyou-sensei sighed. "There are some letters that I feel more comfortable reading and responding to, while in contact with Nature. Nature always reveals the Truth from the lies." A refreshing breeze blew through the pines.

Takasugi looked up at Shouyou-sensei, eyes shining with admiration. It wasn't his words that made such an impact, but his profound peacefulness. Takasugi had never really appreciated the beauty of nature until he made contact with Shouyou-sensei. This was a man whose every single step, every single breath, was filled with calm and purpose. Time literally flows slower in the presence, and a joy fills your heart.

Shouyou-sensei folded the letter he was reading, placed it in a large cotton kerchief containing large bundle of other letters. The material made a soft, slinky sound as he expertly wrapped it into a bag, slung it over his shoulder and jumped from the tree to the ground.

"And what were _you_ doing, may I ask? Takasugi-kun?"

Takasugi hung his head and did not respond.

"Just taking a walk. I'll be leaving now."

"Don't forget your dagger over there…" Shouyou raised an eyebrow, almost mockingly.

"I…" Takasugi clenched his fists and cringed, the earlier conditioning gripping him. A beating, lashing or some other kind of humiliation was in order. His eyes flew open in surprise when he heard Shouyou-sensei retrieving the dagger instead. "Nice dagger. May I borrow it for a week?"

"Y-yes." Taka nodded awkwardly.

"Don't worry, Takasugi-kun, I won't tell anyone what I saw. Come with me."

They walked along the riverbank, atop round pebbles bleached white by the moonlight. Two shadows strolled companionably, one tall and one short. The relaxing rush of the water reverberated mildly through the valley. The waves were brownish, scenting the air with tannin. Shouyou-sensei stopped beside some large boulders that blocked the wind, knelt down and made a small firepit. He opened his bundle, took out one letter and struck his flint and steel. A shower of sparks rained down, some blew away by the breeze. Takasugi stuck out his small hands to shield it. The thin corner of one end caught alight. Buoyed up by the hot wind, the burning edge started to float upwards, but Shouyou-sensei held it firmly by its other edge. The paper curled, consumed by brown spots. It buzzed and crinkled.

"I call these my "Flying Ears, Long Eyes", don't they look like it?" It was no secret among them that Shouyou-sensei received many letters each day from his colleagues all across Japan. Although he never left their boarding school, he was able to gather the latest news from all over the country.

Takasugi-kun laughed involuntarily.

"Here, help me burn this stack."

He lit the paper from Shouyou-sensei's hand. The flames hopped across and burned merrily.

"Why are you burning them? They're letters from your friends, aren't they?"

"No, not friends, comrades."

"Comrades?"

"Those who follow the same Path. People from all different classes, samurai, farmers, merchants, even daimyo…we mix freely to discuss our concerns about the country, ignoring the class differences. You know how the country is right now, don't you? The Bakufu looks stable on the outside, but…" Shouyou-sensei fanned the papers a little, letting the hungry flames bloom at the sudden influx of oxygen. "The structure is rotten, one strong push and it's ready to collapse."

"Then…what will happen to us?"

"That's…what we are discussing in these letters."

Takasugi gasped, opening one letter. Shouyou-sensei gently placed his hand over the paper and shook his head.

"Don't read it. You're too immature."

"W-what?" Takasugi felt confused if not a little insulted.

"All this information…" Shouyou started burning another letter. "You can read and read and never know the truth. Because the truth is inside you. What do you really want? How do you really feel? That's far more important to know."

Takasugi did not respond.

"Try it. Try and say what you really feel."

Takasugi remained silent and pulled his legs to his chest, embarrassed.

"Alright…I'll speak for you." Shouyou grinned mischievously. "As I was reading my letters in a tree, I saw a torch fly down the stone staircase from the temple school to the riverbank. At first I was worried it was a fire demon, but when he got closer, guess what I saw? " Shouyou-sensei shook the paper which was burning at one end and made it fly in a diagonal line from high to low. "A person coming my way, with his head on fire…" Shouyou-sensei chuckled. "Oh my, it's Takasugi-kun with his head on fire! Everybody HIDE!!"

Takasugi felt the chuckle escape from his lips, then burst out laughing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha …!! He laughed uninhibitedly. He's been caught at an undignified moment, but so what? Sensei got him there. He spoke the truth. "I thought the moon would wreck vengeance on me, but it was really my own head that's on fire."

"Huh?"

"You told us that when we are angry, we should not say an unkind word, but make a poem instead."

"Yes. I did, didn't I… " Shouyou-sensei mused, speaking more to himself than his student. "Doesn't speaking your truth make you happier? It always does. When you find your real self, it's like arrival after a long journey. You're happy, because you've found your sense of purpose. In comparison to that feeling…no, that understanding and the confession, the threat of death becomes as dust." He let the burning paper drop into the pit, poked the ashes.

"_As dust…"_

The infinite delicate tulle layers of thin paper reduced to charcoal collapsed with a swish and a wisp of grey smoke streaked skywards. Shouyou-sensei felt a chill seep into his bones, brought about by the rising mist. He coughed, fragile shoulders shaking. He was only a young man of 27 years old but his thin body had taken enough overwork to last 72 years.

"Shouyou-sensei, are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you."

"One more thing. Takasugi-kun…do you play a musical instrument?"

"No."

"It's my fault…I don't have a talent for music, so I can't teach you. But you should find someone who does. Ah…I'll speak with Farmer Jo, the big guy who likes nothing better than to sit on his porch in the evenings, drinking a cup of sake and amusing the kids with his stories. He'd be happy to guide you if you show interest. Music…the origin of music is in our heartbeat, da-dum, da-dum, or our footsteps, left-right, left-right. Call it our eternal home, if you will. If you understand music, where you lay your head is home."

"I…I've always been interested in music. My mother is an excellent singer…when she's not screaming."

Shouyou-sensei was silent.

"She puts more power into her screams, I daresay."

"Oh really…then it would make sense that you inherited her talent, amongst other…_gifts._" He turned and smiled ironically at his student.

"_Gifts?" _Takasugi doubted it.

"Gifts…"

"Shouyou-sensei, why are you suddenly telling me all this?"

Shouyou-sensei studied his observant young student. "I might be making a journey away from Edo, although this is not confirmed yet."

"Where will you go?"

"…I can't tell you, the reasons are political."

"I don't need to know, Shouyou-sensei!! Take me with you! Wherever you go, I will follow!"

"Takasugi…kun." His teacher exclaimed.

"Sensei, I want to stay with you forever, don't leave me." He threw his body in a bow in front of his leader. "Please take me with you!"

"Takasugi…kun. Get up, please, the riverbed is no place for bowing."

"Don't leave me, sensei! You're the only one I have…"

"There, there…you're showing it again…you're lacking in self-confidence."

"…"

He's only been showing his real self. It's insecurity that eats him most of the time, leading to his need to always have someone under his paw. Like the game kids play; they hold hands and try snapping one's thumb over the opponent's, after a brief skirmish, the thumb that clings to the top, wins!

"Besides, I'm merely going on a temporary mission to gather information." Shouyou-sensei reassured. "Wait for me here…and stay away from street politics."

"…"

"There is a lot of underground tension in our society, threatening to erupt in violence. A person like you…might be swept away by the tide of paranoia, and drown."

"Paranoia…what's that?"

"When you feel your neighbors have ganged up on you, your colleagues stick knives in your back and your friends lie to you."

"Ah…"

"When you swear you'll take them all to hell with you."

Takasugi gulped.

"It's alright, everyone has a wild beast we keep inside, don't we? When we feel threatened, the beast emerges and annihilates everything in its way. But beating him is of no use, he only responds to kindness. Forgive him._ Just forgive him, please…._"

-

_Just forgive him, please…_

_Forgive…the Black Beast?_

_Forgive…myself?_

_-  
_

**"You're a good kid, Takasugi-kun."**

Takasugi nodded silently, and tears flowed down his cheeks. The lines were dark, but his eyes were bright.

They were tears of joy.

"_Thank you, Shouyou-sensei."_

---+

_To be continued…_


	11. Chp 11: Playing 2 Part 1

_Whatever Joui Shishi activities Shouyou-sensei was involved in, it appeared that he faced failure after failure. His plans would always be foiled just at the critical moment when all his days, months, years of hard work were about bear fruit. But Shouyou-sensei was not discouraged. He continued his drills in the fields with his students, forming the prototype Shotai Militia. Things might not always go his way, but he could always stay true to his purpose…_

_Every breath he took, every step he made; he would do it for a purpose greater than himself — _

_---+_

_Bansai & Takasugi_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 11: PLAYING 2**_

---+

_(Present time. An autumn afternoon in Edo._ _Takasugi (13)and Bansai (12) are brawling on the streets. A group of ten scholarly samurai are headed their way, involved in a heated discussion.)_

"What should we do?"

"To_** open**_ or to _**exclude?**_"

Everyone stopped walking and looked at Shouyou-sensei, who calmly turned around to face them, a cool breeze ruffling his sleeves.

"**Open."**

The voices of his comrades rose in uproar.

"I think the ban on foreign travel is short-sighted." Shouyou-sensei continued. "It would be acting like a person hiding in a dark room, holding his breath."

"But to leave the country is a crime punishable by death!"

"Nevertheless, exclusion is not an option."

"Why are we so weak? Dammit! If the foreign barbarians chose to attack us at a time like this, we're powerless before their high-tech weaponry, we will lose!"

"That's why we have to work hard to catch up."

"Me too, I'm willing to travel overseas to learn!"

"Let's hurry. We'll soon find out what options our Amanto Travel Agent has prepared for us—"

A whirling sound, like the beating wings of so many birds increased in amplitude with alarming speed.

"GYAAAAHH! AMANTO, HELP! AMAANTOOOOOO!!"

"_**Yee-haa!"**_ _**"Whoo-hoo!" "Pretty Baby!"**_

A contingent of wild-haired young Amanto streaked through the sky on their aircars, startling the townsfolk and making them scurry for cover.

A merchant shook his fist at the sky and screamed "You lying thieves! You're trading One unit of Gold for Five units of Silver. I just found out that the international exchange rate is really One unit of Gold for Fifteen units of Silver!"

From the ground, a scruffy beggar monk with a reed mat for a house shook his bowl at them. "Buddha be Damned! Since we've started trading, the inflation rate has shot sky high. I'm not a rabbit! I can't live on grass! I need rice!"

A hand shot over the mouth of the "monk" from behind.

"That's enough Yamazaki-kun!" ordered Matsudaira Kuriko. Before he became the Superintendent of the Shinsengumi, he was one of the Shogun's Special Agents nicknamed Gogol-13. Alarmed by the demands made by brash lower-class samurai for the reform of the Shogunate, he had been dispatched to investigate. He was currently trailing Shouyou-sensei, the most influential dissident by far and thus the Bakufu's Public Enemy No.1. It wasn't that he'd disagreed with Shouyou-sensei's proposals, no, they were reasonable enough and it was obvious that the Bakufu would have to adopt the same measures to strengthen the country. No, he simply hated Shouyou-sensei's guts because the rebel did not grovel before persons of high social status like him. Such impudence had to be punished by beheading!

"I can't resist shouting at the Amanto every time they ride by." His assistant explained. "We can't just ignore their insults to our country, that would make us like children hiding in a dark room, holding our breath!"

Matsudaira glared at him. "That quote sounds familiar. Did you by any chance pick that up from the rebellious rat?"

Yamazaki coughed in embarrassment. "Well, Sensei expressed it so perfectly, I couldn't have put it any other way."

"The bastard is just too convincing. What a dangerous man! Let's just lock him up first. Questions come later!"

Turning the corner, Shouyou-sensei and crew, followed by the spies, stumbled upon the two brawling boys.

They were rolling on the ground, exchanging punches. Bansai was the faster and taller of the two but his fair, pale face looked innocent compared to Takasugi's rugged, tanned, skin. Their contest had lasted so long because Takasugi was a master of jujutsu, able to escape from various locks and holds to challenge his opponent for another round. They fought like two baby panther cubs who refused to acknowledge anyone was on top,

An idle crowd gathered under the eaves of the shophouse they were fighting outside, not bothering to break them up because it was obviously a children's tiff. And besides the stressed-out merchants, bums, menial workers wanted some entertainment to liven up their depressing days.

"I bet Two cents on the shorty." Said one laborer to another.

"Ha! You always side with the underdogs, Five cents on the rich boy!"

"Hehe, of course I think the runt will win, look at the pretty boy, he's upset now because his nice clothes got dirty."

"Why wouldn't he, my wife would kill me if I made the slightest rip on my hakama (T/N: pants)."

"That's because you only _own_ one pair of hakama, hehehe."

---+

"Takasugi-kun! Have you no respect for the Law?!" Exclaimed a stern, elegant voice soaring above the babbling crowd.

"Shouyou-sensei!"

The crowd parted and Takasugi-kun froze in mid-punch. He was being staddled by the taller boy who also had his elbow raised to deal out some damage. Face paling, he suddenly whispered breathlessly. "Time-out! Time-out!" _Omigosh omigosh Shouyou-sensei saw me brawling, omigosh omigosh,_ he frantically pushed at Bansai's chest, all animosity evaporating. He felt the heavy weight get off his body but didn't even bother to stay on guard in his rush to rub away the grime on his face and brush off the dirt from his hair. Twigs, pebbles and dry leaves pattered to the ground as he got to his feet and bowed deeply from the waist.

"I'm sorry, Shouyou-sensei!" he shouted. "I shouldn't have made a nuisance of myself! But this Amanto-Boy deserves to be taught a lesson!"

"Amanto…boy?" Shouyou-sensei turned to Bansai, who had stood up, folded his arms and pouted for having his fun spoiled. Despite his oddly aloof bearing, the boy appeared local to him. "…What's your name, young man?"

Bansai grinned, "Kawakami Bansai, Yoroshiku onegai!"

"Why of course, Kawakami-kun. And what brings you hereabouts?"

"Uh…um…ahem." Bansai flushed crimson. He dug into the lapel of his kimono and pulled out a calling card and handed it to Shouyou-sensei.

- - -

- - -

"KAWAKAMI SHAMISEN SHOPPE"

55 Gojoe Bridge Ave.

(diagonal letters)

"_**Hardest-working Guys in the Business!!"**_

_**30mins Express Shamisen Repair!!"**_

(^_^)b

- - -

- - -

"Kawakami-san the Master Shamisen Maker! And how are you related to him? Are you his son?"

"I am Kawakami-san's nephew…" Bansai replied. His pronunciation was flawless, but his embarrassment only increased. "I-I am lost, could you please tell me how to get home?"

"Takasugi-kun, did you hear that? Explain yourself."

"But he couldn't speak Japanese a moment ago, how come he can now? Hey you! Amanto-Boy, stop pretending and show us your true self!"

"Takasugi-kun, you're being rude!"

"Why do I have to be nice to him? He's a foreigner, an Amanto. Get Out Amanto!"

Shouyou-sensei was outraged by the hateful attitude of his student. "Takasugi-kun!"

Takasugi seemed excited by the slogans that he had picked up from the neighbourhood xenophobes, which he now quoted to good effect. "Amanto go Home! Amanto go back to Amanto-Land!"

Several of Shouyou-sensei's colleagues started to get worked up and gripped the handle of their katana. "Hey, I have heard that the Amanto pig, Commodore Berry brought home some shipwrecked Japanese. Could he be one of them?"

"Well, little boy, are you Amanto or what?" demanded the samurai standing nearest to Bansai.

"Say something in Nihongo!"

"No parrots allowed!"

They crowded threateningly towards the Twelve year old boy, who only clamped his lips. The atmosphere grew grim. Everyone seemed to direct the hatred their held for the Amanto onto the helpless boy, no matter how irrational it seemed.

"Hold your horses, young men." Shouyou-sensei commanded, stepping protectively in front of Bansai. "Have you forgotten about our policy toward the Amanto?"

The men, slightly calmer, looked grudgingly at Shouyou-sensei for guidance.

"If we want to make Japan strong, we have to learn from the West. Do you know what that means?" Shouyou-sensei's serious gaze pierced everyone, especially Takasugi, who felt so guilty he wished he could crawl under a rock and hide. "Oohhh…" he groaned inwardly. "How could I have forgotten Shouyou-sensei's teachings…to I listened to the bitter grumbling and gossiping of teahouse ronin over the noble principles of my teacher! How could I have been so blind, unable to distinguish right from wrong! But Shouyou-sensei always does the right thing, he's my inspiration!"

"Yes, that means that no matter how much we despise the West, they are our teachers. Thus, look at this boy…He is YOUR teacher. Listen to what he has to say…"

He pointed at Bansai.

Bansai, sensing his opportunity, blurted out the last remnants of his vocabulary: BAKA!! BAKAAAAA!!!

"No! Shhhush!" Takasugi flew up and clamped a hand over Bansai's mouth. Bansai chewed painfully on his palm but Takasugi just let his eyebrows furrow up apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's my fault, I taught him such vulgar words. Please forgive us."

The adults coughed and laughed awkwardly in embarrassment.

"See friends? Even a little boy knows what to do to keep the peace. We're adults, why can't we set a better example? Keep an open mind at all times! Do not hurt the Amanto!"

"Alright, for the sake of our country."

"Brother, you sound a little bitter."

"If war breaks out now, we'll lose. If not, I'd rather–"

"Stop it. It's not a dishonor to learn from our betters."

"They may be our betters in Technology, but not in Nobility!"

"Nobility, you ass hole? You were about to gang up on a small boy!"

"Ahem….ahahaha…"

Takasugi released Bansai who wiped his face angrily and folded his arms again. But he showed no sign of leaving, standing next to Takasugi as if glued to him, if not slightly hidden behind his back.

"Well, Takasugi-kun." Shouyou-sensei put a hand on Takasugi's shoulder. "I was on my way to a meeting so I have to rush. But please take good care of yourself. The streets in Edo are not as safe as they used to be. Don't wander around after dark. So make sure you head home soon. Or do you have somewhere to stay in the city?"

"No. I came here just to follow Katsura-kun. He said he was going to the Sakuranya. If I find him, I might see if I can crash over at his place, hehehe. He'll let me, I know it."

"Katsura-kun went to the Sakuranya today?" Shouyou-sensei repeated. "It's as expected, although I disapprove, but I think Katsura-kun has the aptitude… I suppose some exposure is harmless. Besides, he is one year older than you." His face turned serious. "Takasugi, you can trust Katsura-kun's judgment. I know the two of you do not get along sometimes…"his eyes narrowed, "And he can be a little cold, but he is a truly idealistic young man. One day, if he asks for your help to make his dream come true…will help him, please? The two of you should work hand in hand."

_Hand in hand?! _Takasugi blushed, and nodded automatically. He could never reject a request made by Shouyou-sensei. But his sense of apprehension, much like that time last year made his skin crawl.

"Shouyou-sensei, why are you telling me this?"

"I might be taking a journey somewhere, but it is not confirmed."

"…. Shouyou-sensei!" Takasugi-kun shouted, almost sticking out his hand to grab hold of his teacher's robe.

"Don't worry, I'm only on a mission to gather information, I'll be back soon. And this young gentleman here…" Shouyou now beamed at Bansai and put his hand on his head.

Takasugi-kun's eyes blazed; Bansai beamed.

"Did you say you'd like to be taken back to your place?"

Bansai nodded meekly.

"Takasugi-kun, could you be so kind as to help him? And by the way…what happened here? Why were you fighting?"

"Uh…this…" Takasugi picked up the Rokkaku kite with some difficulty since it's lateral span was longer than his height. "I broke it by accident."

"I see…Nice kite." Shouyou-sensei chuckled, examining it. "Don't be discouraged…why don't you just get another bamboo cane and replace the spine here? Takes 10 minutes. His shoppe might have the materials…if not…here's something for you." Shouyou-sensei took out a small packet of paper wrapped coins. "This is for you. Use it to fix his kite and most importantly, do not stay outside once it gets dark…Well I know you're not going to listen to me, but when it gets late, please hire out a room for yourself at an inn."

"Shouyou-sensei…" Takasugi hesitated to touch it.

"Take it, Consider it a Birthday present…isn't your birthday coming up soon, on August 10th?"

Takasugi's vision blurred with tears.

"_Shouyou-sensei.,. you remembered."_

His teacher nodded quietly, smiling his ageless smile which blended with the blue sky and sparkling iridescent sunrays.

---+

"I'll have you know, I'm only helping you because of Shouyou-sensei." Takasugi-kun rambled on and on, grumbling to his new-found companion. Bansai looked at him for a moment then looked away, as if completely indifferent. But he was really interested in what Takasugi was saying. He realized that he was starting to understand, little by little…. Like the moment a person falls asleep in a car with other people speaking in a different language and when you wake up you are startled that you are able to understand, echoing in a spot deep inside you…

"Hai, hai" Bansai agreed companionably, wanting his radio keep playing.

"Hai, Hai? Hey, just how much of my speech do you really understand?" Takasugi demanded, flinging one arm intimidatingly around the other boy.

Bansai just smiled. "Hai hai."

"Hai hai? You want me to carry on?" Takasugi-kun pointed a finger mockingly at his chest. "Sure…if that's what you want. I can teach you a lot about our lovely town, Edo. But first of all, why would I want to hang out with a spoiled brat like you? I have things to do, my new-found Amanto pig, ah, that is rude, I should say something nice…how about, Present from Prussia…how do you like that? As I was saying, I have things to do, I am a man on a mission so to speak…to track down my enemy, my target, my Katsura-kun. You see, Katsura-kun is a boy from my school, a retarded person, stuck-up and acts like he's better than all of us…simply a jerk. He's located at the Sakuranya. I will show up there…uh…well, why you may ask *sweatdrops* no, of course I am not stalking him, I only wish to prove to my enemy how cunning I am, and secondly because I have nowhere to stay for the night. To be honest, I'm keen to stay over at Katsura-kun's house, to find out just what kind of family he's from. What kind of futon he sleeps on, why I bet his pillow is full of fluffy white stork feathers, not like that fucking piece of…"Two by Four"(T/N: 2inch x 4inch wood) we have at school—Hey, hey, hey…that's it, that's the teahouse! Right over there!"

They had wandered into the vicinity of an imposing three story teahouse protected by a long plaster wall the length of one block. Every architectural detail on the building was as ornate as a daimyo's palace and polished to a gleam. The signboard above the entry gate looked freshly replaced and glossy. It was made of rosy-brown cherry wood, carved with the three characters Saku-ran-ya, but with the tail of the calligraphy for S, R & A transformed into five-fingered petals of cherry blossoms and painted enamel pink.

"Sorry pal, where do you think you're going? This place is members-only." Said the barrel chested bouncer at the gate.

"Ah…well, that was what I was about to ask, how do I become a member of this lovely establishment?"

"You don't apply for it. You only get in if ANOTHER member forwards you with an invitation, and everyone only has a limited number of invitations, that's how exclusive we are. We have to be, nowadays we get too many sub-elites mixing in here, and one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel. The Magistrates Office is waiting for any excuse to raid our teahouse, looking for anti-Bakufu elements, so we can't afford to be careless with the kind of people we let in." Then he raised his chin arrogantly. "Naturally, I'm not referring to the likes of small fry like you."

Takasugi looked unfazed, continued speaking with charming enthusiasm, he could be truly winsome if he tried, his scruffy voice flowed as smoothly as honey. "My friend Katsura-kun is a member here – could you help me pass a message to him?"

"Katsura-kun?" He laughed. "Do you know how many Katsura-SAMAs we have in here? Katsura is too popular a pseudonym. No, tell me the "teahouse-name" your buddy goes by and maybe I can help you out."

"I don't know! He's my classmate, we go to the Shoka Sonjuku Academy run by Shouyou-sensei in – "

"Shouyou-sensei is your teacher?" The bouncer looked concerned.

"Yes."

"Hmm..," The bouncer scratched his neck while scrutinizing the two.

"Why do you ask?" Takasugi quickly pressed his advantage.

"No…no particular reason. Being a student of Shouyou-sensei will get you nowhere, unless he has personally issued you with an invitation."

"So he's a member here, too?"

"One of our regulars."

"Ah! Did Shouyou-sensei— was he the one who invited Katsura-kun?"

"I doubt it," he snorted. "Katsura-kun always shows up with that per-, ahem, person. I'm sorry, I've said too much."

"So you know who I'm talking about?"

The bouncer tried to change the subject. "Damned clammy weather for autumn, don't you think? And who is this fine young gentlemen beside you, judging from his clothes, he appears to be from an illustrious family, I daresay."

Takasugi quickly slipped behind Bansai and placed both hands on his shoulders, proudly announing "This is Kawakami Bansai-_sama_, scion of the legendary Kawakami Shamisen Master Makers famed thoughout the land as the very shamisen craftsmen commissioned by the Shogun!" He winked at Bansai, you never know, maybe this unusual visitor might be just the ticket needed to get them inside…

"Kawakami-sama eh?" The guard now bent forward at the waist, to get a closer look at the boy. "HAHAHA! Yes, I do see the resemblance. He's got the family trait…those non-descript features, like blank paper but boy are they fast with those nifty fingers."

"So you know Kawakami the elder?"

"Why of course, he supplies the ladies here with their instruments, or more like repairs them cuz our owner is too cheap to buy new ones until they literally wear out as thin as plywood, hehehe."

"And who is your owner."

"Henpeita-sama is our owner."

Takasugi did not respond.

"Heh, well I didn't expect a boy like you to have heard of him but he is an up and rising daimyo from the West, from Tosa. He's come from nowhere and climbed really far; he's got a finger every pie, meaning the private enterprises in our city…and I'm saying just the legal ones." He stuck up his little finger. "A modernist, our owner. Calls himself the Feminist. Now what could that mean?" He guffawed scornfully.

"Yeah, what?"

"Don't ask me such questions. How should I know? If he's got an annual income of Ten Thousand Gold Ryos then I reckon he may call himself pretty much anything he wants."

"TEN THOUSAND RYO!" Takasugi exclaimed. It was astronomical.

"Ah…" The bouncer's attitude seemed to have softened. "You have no idea, my son…just how large the amounts that pass through these merchant houses on a daily basis. It's a misfortune to be born a samurai in this age. The most we can do is be their Yojimbo.( T/N: Bodyguard ) "He looked wistful. "Although in times like this, I'm glad to even have a roof over my head, most of my friends have become jobless ronin. And I might join them too, if I let brats like you inside. Now be on your way, boys, run along; I've chatted too much." It was true, the bouncer didn't usually speak so freely to strangers. There was just something provocative about the gleam in Takasugi's pitch black eyes…it made you want to do things for him.

"Thank you, guard-sama." Takasugi said, staring deep into his eyes as he shut the double leaves of the gate.

---+

"Pfft. That didn't work. What should we do, what should we do?" Takasugi wondered as they ran along the riverbank to Gojoe Avenue, "I really want to get inside..perhaps through the service area, hmmm…what do you think, my clever friend? Perhaps we can get your uncle to help us out eh?" He giggled, now behaving more nicely to Bansai. The KAWAKAMI SHAMISEN SHOPPE was located at a relatively short distance ( 20minutes walk ) uptown from the centrally located Sakuranya. To get there, they had to cross Ryogoku Bridge, the craziest, most colorful and most crowded street that existed in Edo in "1854".

---+

(Ryogoku Bridge, described in "The Evening Glow of Edo" by Kijima Manbei)

_The entire square to the other side of these teahouses was occupied by the Muraemon-za Theatre, the "Three Sisters" female Kabuki, peep shows of Chushingura, Naniwa-bushi chanting ( also known as chobokure ), uta-saimon beggar's opera ( also called deroren ), raconteurs, archery booths, barbershops, massage healers, and around them peddlers of toys, loquat leaf broth, chilled water, "white jade" and "Domyoji" confectionery, chilled and solidified agar-agar jelly, sushi vinegar rice, tempura, dumplings, stuffed Inari fritters, fried eel livers, insects, lanterns, as well as wandering masseurs and Shinnai balladeers, peddlers of all sorts, blowgun booths, dokkoi-dokkoi-dokkoi (snatches of refrain), fortune-sellers with lanterns dangling from their collars, vendors of "streetwalker" noodles, drunks, quarrels, pests, public urination._

---+

"Ahhh…that didn't work out either huh?" Takasugi said, fanning at the glue on the freshly repaired Rokkaku kite to make it dry faster. Bansai and he were sitting atop the back verandah of the KAWAKAMI SHAMISEN SHOPPE, watching the slanting rays of the evening sun filter through the red maples growing in the back garden. Normally filled with inexhaustible energy as long as he kept moving, the Thirteen year old boy now felt a little sleepy and his stomach had started to growl.

He was referring to his devious scheme of making use of the Kawakami family contacts to get them inside the Sakuranya. But at the very moment he arrived at the Shoppe, he realized everyone was working their tails off trying to live up to the claim of having the only "30 minute Express Shamisen Repair Service" in the city.

The workshop had threadbare tatami matting, Thirty shamisens in various states of repair were propped upright along the wall. In the middle knelt Kawakami Sr, his wife, his two adult apprentices, tools strewn in a circle around each craftsperson. Kawakami Senior had merely looked up from the worn-out shamisen drum he was repairing, squinted to focus his eyes and grunted. He seemed relieved that Bansai had got himself a new playmate and smiled kindly at them, but did not speak to them; he was too intent on sewing the drum. Just as the bouncer had hinted, Kawakami Sr's fingers moved as quickly as flying. Once in a while he would squint, sigh deeply and wipe the sweat from his brow. He worked like a machine and never spoke.

His wife was more solicitatious, she stood up and brought them to the kitchen, asking many questions. "Wonderful! So you are Takasugi-kun from the Shoka Sonjuku Academy. Please teach my nephew, he can't speak a word of our mother tongue. I want to teach him, but we're too busy. I don't even know how long he will be living with us. The Bakufu is deciding whether to send him back where he came from or let him stay with us. It's not that I don't want him, but times being as they are, I don't know whether he will be better off overseas. Oh. I wish my poor sister were still alive, she'd know what to do."

Surprisingly, tears filled Takasugi-kun's eyes. He'd mellowed out a lot since meeting Shouyou-sensei and felt sorry for Bansai for having no home.

"Stay with us, Bansai" he blurted out, wiping his face.

Bansai blinked a couple of times in disbelief. Why was Takasugi-kun crying for him? And they had only just met? He had assumed all along that he would be sent back to Amanto-Land, in fact he would prefer it. He had no attachment to his birthplace at all, that is…until he met this person?

"Ah, yes." The proprietress nodded slowly. Initially she wanted to adopt Bansai but they faced so much Anti-Amanto criticism once he arrived that the simple woman was frightened and overwhelmed. She really hoped Bansai would be sent back so their livelihood wouldn't be affected. But Takasugi-kun's response had melted her heart. She wiped a tear. At that moment, the front desk was calling so she excused herself and departed, quickly forgetting about them.

She hadn't even had time to make tea and such which Takasugi-kun cleverly took care of. He went out and refreshed everyone's teacups, partly to ingratiate himself in case he wanted to play with Bansai again. But too bad, he wouldn't have the opportunity, that very night the Bakufu commanded the temporary citizen to return to the warships above Edo Bay. So Takasugi-kun did the next best thing, which was to get his old shamisen ( also a present from others ) repaired at the shoppe.

He wanted to preserve the memory of their "one-night-friendship" forever.

_To be continued…_

---+

Next up, Kamotaro Itou (17) & short appearance by Hijikata (17) XD

So how did this go? I hope you leave me a review and let me know! ^^


	12. Chp 12: Playing 2 Part 2

**Summary: **Explores the source of Taka's charisma & how it shows up during his encounters with Bansai, Shouyou, Itou, Nizou, Henpeita, Matako, Katsura, Katsura's dad, all in one night.  
**Ages: **

[Child] _Matako(11), Bansai(12)_

[Teen] _Takasugi(13), Katsura(14), Itou & Hijikata(17)_

[Adult] _Nizou(24), Henpeita(34), Shouyou(28)_

**Age of Consent in Japan:** Fourteen Years Old

**Bakufu:** The Tokugawa Government. Most Joi ( including Takasugi ) were pro-Bakufu until Shouyou-sensei and other political reformers got purged. The Bakufu remained the most powerful force in Japan (80,000 men) but unexpectedly imploded after it was challenged by the small but influential Kiheitai militia (init. 300 men!)

**Bakemono:** monsters; lit. "transforming things," supernatural animals and objects that can change their form to suit their needs.

**Paid Dates** / Enjo-kōsai: Fad among older Japanese people (30-50 yrs old) to bribe high school students (14-18 yrs old) to go out with them.

**Shooting Gallery:** Taka, Bansai & Itou hang out at an Edo backstreet lined with carnival type shooting galleries. I know air rifles haven't been invented back in the day but the historical alternative is the blowpipe booth. Could be a fun game I guess (like darts) but I didn't want to include it because I think sharing a blowpipe is gross, lol =.=|||)

_---+_

_Takasugi & Itou_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 12: PLAYING 2.1**_

---+

_Even before the Black Ships arrived, a black cloud was already gathering above Edo_...

From the rooftops of the Azabu Arts District, of which the Kawakami Shamisen Shoppe was a part of, dozens of huge, garish _bakemono_ kites began disturbing the sky of Edo.

With a wingspan of Three to Four meters, they acted as flying advertisements for printshops, theatres and teahouses that catered to the townsfolk's growing appetite for the grotesque and supernatural, enticing them to visit their shops to see more depictions of a world gone upside down, to vent their resentment against the Bakufu for not fulfilling its duty of controlling the demons; whether they manifested in the forms of local spirits or foreign invaders from beyond their shores.

One such kite was soaring above the square by Azabu Bridge, its paper wings curving slightly away from the bamboo frame, climbing higher and higher even without the need to flap its wings. Like a glass window to another world, it shone transparently with the light of the clear autumn sky. A short distance away whirred more of its kind, their red, yellow or grey panels appearing like a bouquet of pansies dropping from the sky. They were painted with ghosts, monsters, bloody heads and skulls, their patterns shimmering according to the intensity of clouds and light, always transforming, ever-changing.

Whenever a kite was lifted up or pulled downwards, a gorgeous fuzzy blue shadow would shelter those beneath. Molded by a hint of sunlight from the side, even harsh adult faces had a moment of doll-like innocence.

The white kite soared round and round, in a leisurely "o".

Down in the plaza, two children were leading a Rokkaku fighter kite on a string, an old couple was sitting on the bench feeding the ducks and two ronin (one adult and the other a long-haired teen in a basket-hat) strode across the plaza, deep in conversation.

The two moving pairs were headed diagonally past each other, forming an "x".

Since those who often think of each other tend to meet again, it was fate that Katsura-kun turned his head just at the moment that Takasugi-kun was running past.

Their eyes met…

"KATSURA-KUN!" Takasugi-kun yelled, delighted.

"…." Katsura-kun's eyes bore into Takasugi-kun's with a coldness that made him stop smiling at once.

The first flicker of surprise faded into a hard look of determination, as if he had foreseen all this. By then, also by pre-arrangement, his companion separated from him in a split-second and melted anonymously into the background.

"Takasugi-kun." Katsura-kun turned to address his classmate.

"Hey Katsura-kun…" Takasugi-kun said in a hurt tone. "Who is that person? Your fellow student at the poetry club?" The words of the bouncer at the Sakuranya inadvertently floated into consciousness. _"Katsura-kun always shows up with that per-, ahem, person. I'm sorry, I've said too much."_

"Oh, him?" Katsura-kun pretended to look around. "Just a passerby who asked me for directions to Harajuku Bridge."

Takasugi-kun remained suspicious, "Really?"

"It's Two hours before sunset; you ought to be heading home soon, Takasugi-kun. The streets of Edo become hunting-grounds of the ronin after dark."

"What about you? We can go back together…"

"I'll be spending the night at my parent's house on K. St."

"And where are you going now?"

"The Sakuranya.…I am not taking you." Katsura-kun said bluntly. He was so cold he seemed like a different person. "Take care, Takasugi-kun."

They bowed. Takasugi only half-heartedly, resolve faltering. Although he was used to his rival's cold treatment, it was different this time, he felt ignored by Katsura in favour of "more important things" and that hurt.

On the surface, Katsura-kun was as gracious as usual. He bowed calmly to Bansai, who imitated his farewell flawlessly.

Takasugi-kun watched as Katsura-kun adjusted his basket-hat on his head and left. A cool evening breeze steadily blew from the north bank of the river, molding the robes against the legs of the walking people. More and more of them had now appeared, as Six pm approached they got off from work. Perhaps he should just write off this adventure a defeat and return back to his boarding school? But Katsura's cold eyes had been so hard and rejecting, they were like triggers to a forbidden door in his soul. As if the the black curtain of his consciousness was being blown by an ill wind whispering deadly poison into his ears. _"You're a rotten shell of a human…a puny ant…"_Takasugi-kun's eyes glazed over and he shivered. It was just like that night by the riverbank all over again, he could smell the pine trees; he wanted to take out a dagger; a cut _right over here_ is what he needed.

Any normal person could have simply shrugged it off, but Takasugi-kun was not a normal person.

"NO! Go away! Stay away from me!" He hugged himself, desperately trying to cling to the ground in front of him, but his cobblestones wouldn't stay still, they were shiny as lead, blue shadows of moving people washed over them in transparent waves. The blue shadows turned black; what he saw were black silhouettes shifting behind the shoji screen in his home. He was a helpless child waiting for the biggest shadow of all to come in and beat the crap out of—

"Takasugi-kun?"

"Takasugi-kun?"

"Ban…sai." His vision, blurred by tears, gradually focused on his companion. It gave him a weird feeling to hear Bansai say his name, nobody ever said his name in that tone.

"Ooof!"

Takasugi suddenly found himself embraced by a bear hug that crushed the air out of him.

"Nicht so sein, machen Sie mir Sorgen," Bansai pleaded sadly, voice so soft and boyish it was like a girl's. ( T/N: Don't be like this, you're making me worried. I think? o.o?)

"Bansai…kun."

"…"

"…"

"Bansai."

Bansai looked happy that his friend had recovered his sanity. He released his "Toy from Tokyo" and gripped his elbow. "Kite kudasai!" ( T/N: Follow me )

Takasugi-kun fell in pace with Bansai, who was craning his neck through the crowd in search of someone. "Hayaku! Hyaku! (T/N: Hurry, now! )" he beckoned to Takasugi, so naturally as if he had grown up in Edo. "Ah~ah!" he exclaimed, tugging on the string to his Rokkaku kite still soaring far overhead. He didn't have time to reel it in and chase after Katsura-kun. Turning his head left and right, he spotted an elderly couple sitting on a bench by the river feeding the ducks, and dashed over.

"ONEGAI! (T/N: Please!)" Bansai shouted, clapping his palms together and plunged into a deep bow. He passed the string to the old woman. "Arigato! (T/N:Thanks!)" The old lady was bewildered at the request, but accepted it. She tied the string firmly to one foot of the bench.

"Hayaku! (T/N:Now!)" he turned to Takasugi-kun who stood hesitating. Then, in a completely natural gesture, he reached out with his right hand and grabbed hold of Takasugi-kun's left.

"Hey!" Takasugi-kun protested, turning red, but he didn't let go. He didn't want to get separated from Bansai either, in more ways than one.

They saw Katsura-kun's blue robe weave across the plaza, travel down the main street for a while, then duck into an alleyway.

"Yamero! (T/N: Stop!)" bad-mouthed Bansai. They both knew that the backstreets of Edo were like a labyrinth, taking the wrong turn could leave you wandering for hours. They rushed to close the gap between Katsura and them, dashing down a narrow gap between the buildings, then turned into a tunnel-like passage only wide enough for one person to pass, before finally bursting out into an open space flooded by sound and color

They were on a street lined by shooting galleries on the west and the back entry of a few kabuki theatres to the east. A profusion of feathery leaves from the climbing wisteria in yellow autumn foliage snaked up and down the buildings and streets on silvery timber supports. Actors still wearing make-up leaned out of the balconies, blowing smoke rings.

"Where is he?"

_Nowhere._

Katsura-kun was nowhere to be seen.

The street was echoing loudly with gunshots from the thirty carnivalesque booths. Not loud enough to be painful, in fact the rhythmic reverberations were oddly hypnotic. A blast of wind whistled from the alleyway behind them, bringing with it scraps of rubbish. Takasugi-kun picked up a paper flyer rustling on the cobblestones in front of them.

"AIR RIFLE GAME: Two cents per round. Thirty cents per game…." Takasugi read aloud. "Hmm, what do you think Bansai, feel like shooting a couple of rounds? It'll be fun."

He had decided not to go to the Sakuranya after all. What they did just now, chasing blindly after Katsura-kun really served no particular purpose, but he knew Bansai did it for him, and he was sincerely grateful. Had he not been helped by Bansai, who knew how long his depression might have lasted? But now that he knew the triggers, he was sure he'd be able to resist it next time. He really wanted to repay Bansai, so he thought he'd treat him to some entertainment until nightfall, and then head home himself.

"Right, Bansai?"

Bansai gazed at him with both hands covering his ears.

---+

Meanwhile, at the front entrance of the theatres, two raconteurs sat on their soapboxes, having a chat before their show.

"How's business?"

"Excellent."

"These days, the public's demand for ghost stories is insatiable."

"Yeah, we've been popular all year, but wait until the Eighth Month. Imagine how busy we'd be!"

"Everytime the Bakufu's rep. plunges, our ratings shoot sky high."

"Just look at the titles I've prepared for next season. What do you think?"

"Bakemono Found under Samurai's Futon"

"Bakemono Invades Samurai's Private Chambers"

"What's Really going on when there's an Earthquake? (Ans: Bakemono)"

"Hehe, all we really need is one big word: BAKEMONO, and that'll draw in the crowds like no tomorrow. "See You on the Other Side" know what I mean?"

"I almost feel sorry for the Shogun. Why don't we support him a little? "Shogun Subdues Bakemono." How 'bout it?"

"Heroic Bakufu Wins Victories"?

"Now you're being sarcastic."

"Buck the trend, my friend, that's how you get noticed."

"Silly boys," drawled a lady in white and emerald kimono, jade ornament glistening in her immaculate chignon. She appeared young under the soft creamy light filtering through her paper parasol, but her attitude suggested her real age might be ten, even twenty years older. "You need to put the word "Naked" in there somewhere if you want to attract real men. May I suggest "Dance Revolt of the (Naked) Ghosts", or "Great (Naked) Ghost March" Laughing lowly, almost like a croak, she left…

The raconteurs looked at each other.

"Well, Miss. Thank you for the suggestion, but we need a license for that kind of revue you know…."

"We don't wanna get arrested."

"Oh really…" she turned her face and giggled, twirling her parasol flirtatiously. "I don't have that problem when I head over to Kabuki-cho…"

"K-kabuki-cho?!"

"T-to do what?!"

"Oh, knock it off, you know that I know that you know…"

_Kabuki-cho is the meat market of Edo._

---+

(Itou's Diary/ Seventh Day, Seventh Month, Autumn, "1853")

-

Dear Diary,

-

_Nobody understands me…_

_Even if I exposed the real me to others, they wouldn't understand. _

_Go ahead, laugh if you want …_

_That's why I said nobody understands me._

I'm not alive because I enjoy being here, you know, I'm really forcing myself to stay alive…waiting for the moment I can finally break the curse.

When you're under a family curse suicide is not an option. If you chose the easy way out, the curse either passes through your relatives for another 18 generations or you simply get reborn into another family with the same problems. Either way, you repeat it until you learn it, much like repeating a grade in school.

Most samurai would try to end a problem with the sword. They think it's that simple, don't they? Hijikata for one. And everyone applauds him for it. I'm envious.

Unfortunately, I am not like most samurai, I'm a genius. I like to figure things out. I want to get to the Truth at the bottom of it all. I want to end my family curse, not just kill… _**her.**_

But meanwhile, the hopeless feeling only grows stronger. The older I get, the deeper the fear. Since I turned Fourteen, which is the legal age in Edo, I discovered a new distraction that could ease my mind…

Paid dating.

We go drinking together or… _more_, and they buy me gifts. Since I'm a genius, I like older wo/men, they seem to be smarter. Unfortunately I have yet to meet a date – youth or adult – who can actually understand me...but what the hell did I expect?

What's more, because of my status an elite member of the Bakufu Military College. I'm not supposed to be indulging in human relationships. It gets quite hard to keep it all inside. I admit that my emotions affect my schoolwork. Everyone thinks I'm a genius but I don't even study. I hardly try. What's the point? While I am staring at my books, I am thinking of telling people about my secret life. Someone, anyone. The closest choice I have for a confidant is in fact Hijikata, he's the only smart person at the College, but he's humiliated me so much.

_I'll never forget the humiliation I felt on that day…_

---+

(Itou's Flashback. AU Note: Itou and Hijikata attend college together XD )

Itou was Sixteen, an unsigned note had arrived for him.

"Come to the office, Itou-kun, there's a message for you." A student said.

"Who is it from?"

"Your mother."

Itou's heart gave a thump. He gulped.

"No,no! I was just joking. I don't know. It got delivered by a messenger boy from a teahouse."

"Which teahouse?"

"Sakuranya."

The Sakuranya? Itou has never been there.

When he arrived at the lounge, Hijikata-kun and his crew were gathered around a low table, drinking tea. Everyone looked flushed and spoke excitedly in low tones. Hijikata-kun was fanning out a stack of papers teasingly under a student's nose, but he hid them away as soon as Itou-kun walked across the floorboards to the receptionist's desk.

Itou-kun unfolded the note, made of fancy hand-made paper.

-

"Meet me at the Sakuranya. Yours truly, _*smooch!*"_

_-_

Smooch?! It was a spot of deep crimson lipstick absorbed into the paper. Itou knew who it was, one of his paid dates. So it wasn't a love note. Nevertheless it was the first time he had gotten a note of this kind and that made him lower his head and blush faintly.

"Hey what's up with Itou-kun?"

"He's all red."

"Did you get a love note? Let me see!"

While his crew all stood up and surrounded Itou, Hijikata-kun merely raised an eyebrow and smirked. At Sixteen, he was already famous among the ladies in Edo and rumored to receive an endless stream of love letters, even from ladies he'd never met.

"Hijikata-kun! Itou-kun got a love note!"

Hijikata-kun just chuckled in a casual manner, as if he were a mature adult. However, everyone knew that Hijikata-kun never replied to a single one of the letters out of shyness.

"No, it wasn't a love note." Itou corrected calmly. "Merely a client making an appointment for my professional services."

"P-pro-professional?" stammered a junior. Everyone felt a pang of jealousy. In the highly competitive environment of the College, Itou was envied for having achieved recognition as a sought after consultant, even though he hadn't even graduated. Classmates granted him the title of "Itou-sensei" as a mark of grudging respect.

"What? For work?"

"You're missing out, Itou-sensei."

"Don't waste your youth, look at Hijikata-kun…OI! Show him your letters, Hijikata-kun! The ones you were showing to us."

"No!~ hey don't-!" Several guys held Hijikata's arms while another reached inside the sleeve of his kimono.

During the scuffle, the ribbon holding the letters together got untied. A cascade of letters sifted out of Hijikata's sleeve like sand pouring out of a collapsing molehill. They must have numbered more than a hundred. A mysterious alluring scent mushroomed into the air, reaching the spot where Itou-kun stood fixated.

"Knock it off!~" Hijikata-kun shouted almost angrily, face reddening furiously. He stood up and spat out in his gruffest voice, although he way he lowered his head to hide his embarrassment made him a lot less scary. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! You guys are pathetic! If you love these letters so much, you can have them! Read it, keep it, share it! I don't care! Do as you wish." With that he stalked off without a second look.

Itou-kun was also gone in a second.

He slammed the sliding door to his single room, locked it, then opened the shoji that opened to the veranda. But he did not go out, instead he turned his back to the other, unopened leaf of the door and sat facing the interior of his tiny room. A gorgeous green light shining from the brilliant moss-covered courtyard filtered into his room, creating a shimmering bubble of light where he was sitting, but leaving the other corners of the room dark. He felt like a genius in a bottle. "Why is life so unfair to me?" he thought. "I'm not inferior to Hijikata in any way- looks, skills, bravery and of course when it comes to intelligence, I am way smarter. So shouldn't I have an equal amount of good things in life, if not more so? But why does it always turn out this way? How come I have to work so hard for every scrap of recognition I get while Hijikata is loved just as he is?!"

_Life's a bitch._

_Why was I even born?_

Kamotarou Itou was the second son. The inferior one. His older brother Takehisa was weaker, uglier, dumber, stupider and a runt in every way, a sickly child who spent most of his time miserably passed out upon his sickbed, but he was loved. He was loved so much he took the sun away and Itou was left with the clouds.

Mother was like the sun in their home. Itou needs her. Father was like a diagram in a textbook. Itou doesn't need him. Literally. Itou's father was also a famous scholar. Itou can find him inside his books, so he doesn't need him. But Itou needed his mother. He was Ten years old when she started leaving home for weeks at a time, supposedly to take Takehisa to the healing spas in the countryside. But it wasn't that simple, Itou knew that his parents were fighting. Every time she was gone, he was afraid she would never return. So he tried to keep her happy. He got the best grades of any student. He paid the price of being bullied for it but he never told her. When he fell ill and she never visited him, he made up an excuse for her. But all the signs were there: Itou's mother could care less about him. And finally she confessed.

"I can't stand Itou, he's so healthy while poor Takehisa suffers so much. It's as if Itou has taken all the happiness of his older brother when he was born. Oh I wish…he'd never been born."

_What a bitch. _

_She hates me, I love her;  
_

_How should I feel?_

Itou became a prodigy far advanced for his age, more adult than most adults, hiding his true feelings away somewhere that nobody could ever understand. He was smart, self-sufficient, self-operation, self-motivated and completely selfish, now he's already Sixteen years old. Is it too late for him to change?

He continues to hate Hijikata like he hates his older brother.

He continues to go on paid dates, meeting and dumping the women he loves but can't trust, like his mother.

So the family curse continues, day by day…

---+

Until one summer when Itou was Eighteen, it was broken for one day.

A big sunflower was delivered by an anonymous messenger to Itou's residence. Who was it from? Nobody knows. Why did he get it? No reason. But it was undoubtedly for him.

The handwriting was childish_. _

_Could it be from you, Takasugi?_

He floated for the rest of the day. He couldn't help it. From out of the blue, out of his conscious control…

Itou had fallen in love.

---+

But we're getting ahead of the story. At this point in time, Itou is Seventeen, he is a cadet in the elite Bakufu Military College, and after his lecture he walks out of the College on the outskirts of Edo and heads downtown to Kabuki-cho, the red light district of Edo.

Walk down the crowded avenue, and every few steps will take you past a theatre, an underground performance venue, or simply an open-air stage. Nestled between the theatres are restaurants, cafes and dessert parlors. On the upper floors of the merchant rowhouses are rooms for mahjong, massage and uh…_more._ And it's well known that most of the Yakuza gangs have opened their Edo branch offices on this street. The network of avenues, willow lined plazas, and dark little alleyways are dirty, sleazy and smelly, but it's always thronged, day or night. As if electrified by the scent of flesh, a current of human traffic flows endlessly. The Japanese dub it the "water trade". Itou calls it _Baishun_, or selling "spring".Because underneath it all, adults head to Kabuki-cho for one reason…_young people._

And that's where young Itou Kamotarou, Seventeen years old, heads for his paid dates.

His rendez-vous spot is a couple of blocks west of Kabuki-cho proper. He prefers to wait at the shooting galleries behind the Azabu Theatres, where he will amuse himself by shooting a few rounds before his sugar mommy picks him up at Six pm.

This evening though, as he puts his change on the gun counter and picks up an air rifle, he spots two unfamiliar faces in the same booth, children making an annoying racket as if they were complete amateurs. Unbeknownst to him, this was the first sign that his family curse was about to break.

_To be continued…_

---+

**A/N: Hi! What's up? Reviews are important to me and for the past Two chps I've only gotten One review ( from Bella92 :3 ) What did I do wrong? *wehh!* **

**But since this is the 12****th**** Chp, I figure you're probably not the casual reader and you probably support this fic, right? *fingers crossed* So if you've read thus far, I hope you'd take the time to leave me a note of encouragement. I want to finish this fic before it reaches it's 1 yr b-day. O.o PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks~  
**


	13. Chp 13: Breaking 2 Part 1

**Summary:** While scheming to befriend Itou, Takasugi unwittingly plays a part in breaking his family curse.

**Warning:** This chp starts out **in an angsty mood **( Cuz it's Itou ^^;) But it lightens up after that :)

_---+_

_Takasugi & Itou_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 13: BREAKING 2 Part 1**_

---+

( A fragment of Itou's dream; early morning, same day )

-

_Trust..._

_That's supposed to be a test, too?_

_A test set by life?  
_

_Why didn't anyone tell me that? I'm sure I would have passed with flying colors. _

-

An impressive results slip fluttered from the fingertips of the Ten year old Itou-kun as he charged eagerly down the inner corridor toward his brother's room, footfalls thumping loudly on the wooden floor. A moment later, the paper was crushed into a ball and dropped from rigid fingers before rolling a few feet to the closed shoji door. A woman's voice could be heard speaking from within. His mother.

"_Why is Kamotaro so healthy while poor Takehisa suffers so muc_h_? It's as if he's taken away the happiness of his older brother when he was born. Oh I wish_…he'd never been born."

-

Deep in the family garden blossomed a massive forsythia hedge. Its branches were quivering violently. Lowering his head and shielding his face with his arms, Itou-kun was pushing his way toward a hollow space formed between two separate plants. Tiny yellow flowers surrounded him on all sides. He just couldn't go back to his room after the shock, not to all those books; so dead, so cold. The morning mist chilled him to the bone, but it made the leaves look greener and more alive. His cheeks were deathly pale and shimmering wet.

When he awoke an hour later, he found himself covered by a ring of yellow petals, as if an angel had placed the lightest of blankets upon his sleeping body.

Looking up, his eyes widened.

It was beautiful. It was simply one of the most beautiful spring days he had ever seen. The sky shone blue and crystal clear. Sunlight streamed down from the intertwined branches, leaving a maze of shadows nestled upon his skin. Blown by a high breeze, white clouds skated across the sky, curvaceous profiles distinctly forming and dissolving. Stretching his hands into the light, he snapped off a sprig of the golden flowers. Should he bring it to show Takehisa? Sit down by his bed to talk awhile? He always enjoyed that.

No, why should he? His older brother already had so many people fawning upon him it was _disgusting._

He stalked toward his brother's room, intent on confronting him.

"Takehisa."

Itou slid the door open an inch. His brother was lying on a white futon and covered by a blue padded kimono as a blanket. His breathing was shallow, as if still weak from last night's fever. But he was awake, and waiting for him.

"Kamotaro…so you've come back."

Takehisa was Fifteen. His voice was deep, calm and oddly soothing. But Itou refused to be swayed.

_Come back? You'd wish I hadn't._ Itou crouched by his bedside and used the twig to hit his brother on the chest.

"Ouch."

"I hate you, Takehisa, I hate you so much I ought to kill you."

An ironic smile spread across Takehisa's face. Despite becoming reduced by his long-drawn illness to the bodily equivalent of a newly born kitten. It was obvious that he was once an extraordinarily good-looking youth. His almond shaped eyes were long, narrow and beautiful. His gaze was like a pool of clear water; only Takehisa looked at him like that.

"Go ahead and kill me. I don't care about that at all."

"Kisama..." (T/n: Damn you. ) Itou prodded the flowers at his brother's nose. It was a cheap shot, but he couldn't help it. "I heard you talking about me." He accused.

"I heard you too. Your footsteps were so loud I could hear them a mile away. After that, you ran away. Why didn't you come in?"

Itou was outraged. "How could I? After what mother said?"

"Forgive her, Kamotaro. She didn't mean it." Takehisa struggled to lift himself onto his elbows.

Itou tensed up and wanted to lean over to help, but he was angry at his brother's excuses. "That's a lie! Mother hates me, everyone knows that."

The other youth managed to sit up by supporting himself with his left palm and looked at him with intense eyes. "Did you know how I responded to mother? But you were already gone by then, so you never heard what I told her. "

"I said—" Takehisa gripped Itou's arm and squeezed tightly, locking him in eye contact.

"You're my brother." He uttered. "If for any reason someone wants to hurt you, I would give my life to protect you." The heat of his palm seeped across Itou's sleeve, burning the cold surface of his arm."You know I would."

Itou's head started to reel, he flinched away, lower lip trembling, doubt filling his eyes.

Suddenly, his arm was pulled forward with unexpected power. He tumbled into Takehisa's lap and was covered by a bear hug. Itou found his cheeks pressed against his brother's chest, which throbbed faintly with a weak heartbeat. His shirt rustled from his steady breathing, releasing a scent reminiscent of the dojo built from pinewood, on the summer afternoons when Takehisa used to train with him, before he was taken away from him. In a daze, Itou closed his eyes, feeling the overwhelming pull of sleep.

"If for any reason I'm sick because you are healthy," Takehisa's deep voice rumbled from above his head and in front of his face, "Then I'm willing to be sick, as long as you can stay healthy."

Itou shivered, feeling the walls dissolving between them, yet not trusting that he wouldn't be hurt in return.

"_Because I'm your brother, I'm supposed to protect you."_

_"I wish I can protect you forever."_

_-  
_

Itou's face turned white, he opened his eyes and woke up coughing. He was back in his dorm room. Sitting up, he buried his face in his hands and his shoulders started shaking._ A dream._ It could only be a dream because Takehisa had passed away a year ago, while he was away in the country, before they ever had such a talk.

But this wasn't an ordinary dream, it was too real for that. It was dream that spoke his true feelings. And when that happened, he had been healed. "I understand, Takehisa."He clutched his hand into a fist.

_I feel whole again._

_When this dream becomes reality, _

_My family curse will be broken._

---+

( Later in the evening, shortly before Six pm )

Itou's shots were unfailingly accurate. He not only knocked down the box of sweets using only one or two rounds from the air rifle, but each hit gave off a satisfying boom, proving that he had hit the sweet spot.

The target room of the shooting gallery was Two meters long and mirrored on both sides. At the back was a red curtain and three shelves laden with prizes. A scroll of rules hung beside the gun counter.

Shoot down the box of sweets with 4 bullets, get 25 cents

Shoot down the fancy dolls with 3 bullets, get 20 cents

Shoot down the regular dolls with 5 bullets, get 10 cents

Shoot down the ceramic cat on the top shelf, with 3 bullets, get 18 cents and a box of sweets

…& more combos, etc.

Almost everyone plays for the box of sweets on the top shelf, almost no one tries for the dolls or cats, or sweets on paper strips. On the contrary, Itou tries for whatever prize that strikes his fancy. But strangely enough, he never took anything home.

This evening though, he was feeling a little irritated by his companions at the shooting gallery. The two boys were atrocious amateurs and made an insane racket, laughing and shouting whether they hit anything or not. How did they even communicate at all? Itou wondered. He couldn't overhear a single scrap of intelligible conversation yet they were obviously great friends. That notion dampened his spirits. Here he was, surrounded by humans, yet totally alone. There at school, he worked and worked yet no one recognized his true abilities. In his evenings, he wined and dined with all kinds of people, yet no one understood him.

_Life's a --_

"How come you shoot and shoot, but never get any of the presents?" Asked a boy standing beside him.

_--bitch...?!_ Itou suddenly tensed up and placed his gun down on the counter. His mouth fell open and his eyebrows knitted painfully upwards, shocking Takasugi-kun into wishing he never spoke. But it was only for a split-second, and Itou was back to his usual cool, aloof self.

"Why, Itou-kun is our resident sharpshooter." The old lady at the counter interrupted with a laugh. "If we had to give out a box of sweets each time Itou-kun hits them, we'd go broke. So I let him play without paying the entry fee; he just pays Two cents per round. My, I think he even won a contest by the riverbank. Didn't you, Itou-kun?" She seemed inordinately proud of him, although one would think that the better the marksman he was, the worse it was for her business.

Itou-kun looked embarrassed and adjusted his glasses with his index finger. "I've been coming here for three years already. Maybe I should stop."

For a patron of three years, he speaks with a complete lack of sentimentality, Takasugi-kun thought. Is he really so cold? He felt his interest grow. "Wow! I knew you were good, but I never knew you were_ that_ good!" He chimed, then smiled brightly at the stall owner.

"Isn't that so?"

"He sure is!"

"In that case, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Takasugi pretended to look helpless. "I always hit the target a little too much to the left but I can't seem to correct myself." Actually, he hated people telling him what to do, Shouyou-sensei being the only exception. But in this case it was simply a tactic to draw the other person closer to him.

"Oh, alright." Itou picked up his own rifle to demonstrate. "Yeah, I already noticed your problem, a lot of beginners make that mistake. Your shoulders here aren't steady, see, and your arms are awkward too. And then you flinched when you squeezed the trigger. Are you upset by the sound?"

Takasugi-kun flushed red, sweat dropping. "Ah…really. Ah…no…"

"But your friend seems to be doing very well. HEY, YOU!" Itou pointed at Bansai and gave him a thumbs up. "Sugoi!" (T/N: Awesome!)

Bansai had stopped playing and was digging curiously through at the mountain of exotic sweets he had won. He returned Itou's gesture with a cool nod and smirked. Pleased, he popped something into his mouth and bit down. A shadow suddenly creased his forehead and he turned greenish-white. He blanched, slapped his hands over his mouth, and ran off.

"What's wrong?!" cried the old lady, anxiously rushing out to examine the sweets, "But I got them fresh from the bakery!"

"Uh…I don't think it's the sweets, maybe he just doesn't like them."

"Doesn't like them?! But why wouldn't he?"

Takasugi waved his hand dismissively, "Oh, I wouldn't worry about it." He giggled. "On the other hand, _I _like them. Yum! Here," he took the liberty of holding one out for Itou, "Let's help him finish it."

Itou chuckled. "Sweets are silly."

"What?"

"Sweets are for kids." He added snidely.

Instead of getting irritated, Takasugi laughed, thinking of Gintoki. He ought to bring a box home to the boarding house. Imagining Gintoki's rusty-red eyes widening and the silly blush he gets when he sees the sweets would be worth it. He chuckled.

"Silly can be cute. Shooting games are for kids too, so doesn't that make you a kid, too?"

"Itou-kun is my favourite." The old lady smiled indulgently again.

"She's very fond of you," Takasugi-kun noted.

"Ah. So it seems." Itou pretended to look flattered. "Thank you, ma'am." He said politely, but Takasugi couldn't sense any real affection in his tone.

"Why are you here anyway? I would never have expected someone from your school to be hanging out in a spot like this."

"Oh…just killing time." Itou replied, touching the crest of his kimono a little self-consciously. But there was a calculated reason why he wore his college student outfit of dark grey kimono and black hakama. ( T/N: divided skirt ) They attracted girls (sometimes guys) to him like bees to honey….But of course this wasn't something he would mention in conversation with children. Ahem.

"The Bakufu Military Academy. The most elite school in our country." Takasugi-kun said with a gleam of genuine admiration. At this point in time, rebellion was the farthest thing from the future terrorist's mind. He was willing to play the game to reform the country from within. "You're lucky to be an officer cadet of the Bakufu. I'm interested in the army too, but with my background, I'll never be accepted."

"Unfortunately, yes." Itou agreed.

There was a hint of regret in his tone which was not lost on Takasugi-kun. "Why unfortunate?"

"Because the Bakufu would be better off recruiting men of talent into their ranks. But, they lack the ability to do so."

"Why?"

"Because they lack the _talent?"_ Itou grinned.

Takasugi laughed."Well,_ I _don't think I have a single talent, but I'm willing to do _anything_ to help my country."

"Hey hey, aren't _you_ the regular patriot?"

"You mean you're not?!" Takasugi looked offended.

Itou shrugged. "I don't call the shots. I'm only called upon to give advice when needed. If I'm needed, that is."

"Of course you're needed. Don't you feel your country's fate is important to you?"

"No. Not really."

"Really?" Takasugi was intrigued. His voice softened. "Then...what's important to you?"

Itou wavered a little. What's important to me? _Brothers. Bonds. But he failed to bond with anyone._ He quickly changed the subject to divert attention away from the truth. "You see…I'm an advisor, I don't take sides. I merely help my clients see their options. I hold up a lantern for them to see the way, but it's up to them to choose where to go."

"And...that's important to you?"

"It's _very_ important." Itou nodded gravely. "It a very important task. You'd be amazed at the difference an advisor makes to any situation. You can't imagine how many respectable samurai turn into raging zealots once they've poured a couple of cups of sake down their throats. They just lose it! If someone's not from the same clan or class as them, they start yelling, arguing and even physical violence." Itou held up both palms with an apologetic smile as if to soothe the ruffled feathers of two quarreling parties. "They just don't get it. You can't just sweep an issue under the carpet and hopes it goes away. You can't just challenge them to a duel to settle it. You can't just chop off a few heads and say the problem is solved. No, because behind every conflict is a viper's nest of issues. And each one of those things have to be named and tagged before we can even get anywhere. Now I know some of my associates think that I am being overly analytical, but I know this much from personal experience. If I can only get each person from each side of the conflict to agree an issue even exists, then I'm covered for the night. There won't be a fight breaking out in my room."

"Your room?" Takasugi, although fascinated by Itou's long rant, couldn't help interrupting.

"My room at the Sakuranya. Well it's not exactly my room but if clients ask for my support I usually suggest that we meet at the Sakuranya. Then I go from room to room, meeting people, explaining things to them, almost like a geisha! A male geisha, if you will, hehehe!" Itou laughed by himself. Takasugi looked surprised.

"Um, alright...You're a male geisha, you say…?"

"Nooo! Of course not! It's a joke."

"Oh…ah." Takasugi could care less what Itou chose to call himself. But did this mean he was his ticket into the Sakuranya? The old hope flared up again."I should like to see the inside of the Sakuranya… " he thought, if only to show Katsura-kun. But he decided he couldn't rush it. First of all, he had to get Itou on his side, and he was an interesting person in his own right.

"By the way, my name is Takasugi Shinsuke, what's yours?"

"Itou Kamotaro."

They bowed;Takasugi schemed. He wanted to form a relationship with Itou, but what could an ordinary student like him possibly offer to an elite cadet like Itou? Hmmm…? He had no idea. But everyone has his strengths and weaknesses. He just needs to find out Itou's weakest point...

_To be continued..._

---+

How was this? I hope you'd leave a comment to let me know, thanks! :)


	14. Chp 14: Breaking 2 Part 2

**Summary:** Can Itou free himself from his dark past (breaking the family curse)?

**Ages:** Bansai(12), Taka(13), Itou(17), Yoshino( unknown age btw 20-40 )

**Quick note on Itou's "Family Curse"as it appears in this fanfic: **Itou's tendency to betray his friends is his worst trait. When he starts getting close to someone that's when he starts having the subconscious urge to betray them. Because he's still mad at his mother/brother for traumatizing him when he was young and wants revenge. ( by hurting those he loves =.=||| stupid ) The way out is to heal his original childhood pain. He gets attracted to Taka because Taka seems to have successfully healed himself of similar emotional scars. ( Unfortunately, Taka hasn't ) I'm sure there are other reasons that let Taka mess around with Itou's mind but this will be the part I'm exploring in this chp. Hope you enjoy~ ^^

_---+_

_Takasugi & Itou_

_**DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 14: BREAKING 2 Part 2**_

---+

( Six-Thirty PM )

At this point, new customers arrived at the booth, so Itou and Takasugi left to make space for them. Both of them were waiting for someone: Takasugi-kun for Bansai, and Itou-kun for his paid date, so neither of them could leave the area. They crossed the street to the other side and waited under the canopy of wisteria vines built above the back entry of an old Azabu theatre. The evening sun streaked the street with sheets of gold and long purple shadows. It was amazing how much traffic had swelled since half an hour ago. Crowds thronged the shooting galleries and the sound of gunshots echoed all the more merrily. However, given that the street was only located a couple of blocks west of Kabuki-cho, much of its clientele consisted of workers involved in the "water trade."

"Why are there so many parents picking up their kids here?" Takasugi-kun complained. "I mean, it's fun and all but they shouldn't leave them here. What if they fall into bad company?"

Itou stared at Takasugi.

"Damn! I never realized this street was so sleazy! Look at that pair. And over there…" He pointed out some middle-aged salarymen chatting up the rare schoolgirl holding textbooks, who was apparently coming home from private tuition.

"Do you have a problem with paid dates?" Itou smirked.

Takasugi-kun hesitated. "Paid dates? What's that?"

"Well, that's—oh, forget it, too much to explain." Itou waved aside the question.

"I thought you…don't you make a career out of explaining?"

"Being an advisor is not about explaining, you know." Itou protested passionately. "It's about feelings. Empowerment. Trust."

_Wait a minute…Trust?_ Itou was struck by a sense of déjà vu. Why haven't I realized this before? I've made a career out of _trust_, when what I've been obsessed about is my mother and brother _betraying_ me. What the hell is going on? It's the damned curse acting on my subconscious. He frowned, placing his index finger under his chin.

"What's the matter, are you tired?" Takasugi picked up on the change in Itou's body language and tried harder to entertain him. "Being an advisor must be tough. Us samurai are the stubbornest creatures to walk this earth. Take me, for example, I never listen to advice. I'm more likely to spontaneously cut someone's head off." He chopped the air with his palm. "_Sha! Sha!_"

"Self-control, my friend."

_Self-delusion,"my friend," _Takasugi-kun thought slyly. "But don't you think you're missing out on something?"

Itou's heart gave a thump and he felt cold sweat on his brow. "M-missing out? On what?"

"Well, it's like you're always helping someone else, but never get the pleasure of achieving your own dream, right? That is if," he paused provocatively, "you actually_ have_ a dream."

"Dreams…?" Itou cut his eyes at Takasugi-kun, suddenly furious. "What do_ you_ know about dreams?! Everything's so easy compared to my real dream. I mean the real one, which has nothing to do with money or success, the one that's so damned impossible to get!" he hissed.

Seeing the younger boy taken aback by his angry outburst made Itou feel even worse. _Why do I always have to be so mean to the people I like?_ He exhaled sharply, clenched his fist and looked into the sky.

_Takehisa…_

_At this rate, how am I ever going to change? _

_How can I find the inner strength?_

"Ow!" Now it was Itou's turn to jump, when Takasugi-kun shocked him out of his silent prayer by shouting dangerously close to his eardrums.

"Yes, I _do_ have a dream, and I _do_ know what I'm talking about!" He yelled passionately. While Takasugi could be secretive, he was also not afraid to let everyone know about his obsession. He was capable of describing his dream in perfect detail: name, age, weight and height, DOB, blood type, favorite food, favorite books, favorite path to take while walking home, uh, you get the drift.

"I'm sure you know a lot more about life than I do, and you're a more mature person than I am. But I_ do_ know one thing. I used to live my life in hell. I had nothing I could put my faith in. Death was my only friend. But after I met Shouyou-sensei everything changed."

"Sh-s-shouyou-sensei….?"

"Shouyou-sensei showed me the way. He makes the world a better place! He's the best!" Takasugi-kun enthused so much his whole expression was transformed. "He showed me the sun that never burns out. A truth that always guides me. A song that always soothes me!" He grasped both fists and looked directly into Itou's eyes as if to express his faith. He looked so happy and childlike that Itou was stunned.

"This Shouyou-sensei…is he the leader of some sort of cult?"

"No…"Takasugi looked slightly deflated, before raising an eyebrow in a wry grin. "But I fucking admit it. I worship him. I LOVE him, alright?!"

"…Ah."

Takasugi-kun again looked disappointed that he couldn't inspire a similar adoration in the other student. He seemed somewhat embarrassed at his bombastic exaggerations. "Look," he continued more soberly. "My teacher would be disgusted if he heard me talking about him like this. He's not some God-like figure, you know? He's merely an ordinary, quiet, peaceful man, but once you speak to him, you can sense his maturity, radiating out. His charisma, so beautiful you can't even look away! Its—it's like…cherry blossoms!...Azuchi Castle!...MOUNT FUJIIII!!" Carried away by his praise, Takasugi-kun's arms reached toward the sky.

"Eh?" He was surprised to feel a hand pressing down on his head, tousling his hair. "Uwaaah!"

"Settle down!" Itou laughed, "I get the point; you love him."

Takasugi-kun grinned toothily, eyes squeezed into twin arches.

Heh, this kid can be cute, Itou thought, withdrawing his hand and stuffing them into his pockets. He's never patted the head of another student before. Although his older brother had often done that to him, he recalled.

_I understand now, Takehisa. You felt responsible to watch over me._

"Oh, there you are." Itou noticed a small bedraggled figure approaching them. It was Bansai. His hair was wet and stuck to his head, and kimono splotchy with water stains, as if he'd dunked himself in a river or a stone fountain found within temple grounds.

"Hey, over here!" he waved.

"What happened, Bansai?" Takasugi was astonished.

"Dass Kuchen schmeckte wie Benzin." (T/N: That cake tasted like gasoline.)

"Aww~"Takasugi cooed nonsensically. "_Vie_ _Bentsin, Be Bonssin, ne?_"

"Halt den Mund, Domo." (T/N: Please…Shuddup.)

---+

"My, my…Itou-kun." A red lattice door slid open in the wall of the Azabu theatre and a lady popped out to stand beside the college student. Her perfume was night-blooming jasmine, her kimono emerald and white, and her features elegant under the creamy light of a pink parasol. "You never told me you had such adorable little brothers."

"Ah, Yoshino-san. You look exquisite."

"Thank you." She turned to the two boys and bowed coquettishly. Takasugi-kun couldn't take his eyes off her. She challenged him. Was she a geisha? No, even geishas didn't display such flamboyance. A courtesan? But she was dressed too conservatively. Underneath her impressive poise, her obvious intelligence and power, lay something cold and arrogant…perhaps even sinister. Something similar to him. His skin prickled.

Tensed with veiled hostility, Takasugi stepped closer to Itou.

Yoshino's brown eyes danced with amusement. "How long have you known him, Itou-kun? He looks as if he doesn't want to part from you."

Itou shrugged. "We just met at the stall." But when he noticed Takasugi's intense look, he nodded, "But I like him. Right, Takasugi-kun?"

"We're friends." Takasugi-kun said impulsively and took the liberty of putting a hand on Itou's shoulder, then physically nudging him to turn aside from the woman. "Mind if I have a quick word with you?" He whispered. When Itou hesitated, Takasugi-kun smirked and looked over his shoulder at Yoshino-san. "Sorry for the interruption, I'll return him in a moment."

"You may borrow Itou-kun, of course, but please don't steal him." She smiled sweetly, and Takasugi was impressed by her intuition.

"Don't sell yourself like that, Itou-san." Takasugi said without sugar-coating his words. He didn't know if they were paid dates or not, but he knew Itou was being controlled by the lady. He too, was struck by her allure, but he also sensed its disadvantages. She was beautiful, inviting men to adore her, but the love they would get back wasn't something to make them shine, but would eat away their willpower bit by bit, like a spider sucking the life out of the fly caught in her web. Takasugi ought to know, the same instincts worked in his character, but Shouyou-sensei's guidance managed to overshadow them. "Stay away from her, she's a bad influence."

Itou pinned him with a hard look. "I'm not selling myself. I choose to do this out of my own free will."

"WHY?!" Takasugi-kun wailed like an infant. He forgot how absolutely childish that would look to Itou, who flung his arm around one shoulder and gripped his chin. "Hey little boy…this may come as a surprise to you, but everyone does it. But instead of doing it for free, I do it for money." While Itou's tone was stern, he was shocked that he was even justifying himself to this little runt. Why did he even feel the need to?

"…" Takasugi stared open-mouthed.

"There's nothing illegal or immoral about what I am doing."

"Don't say that!" Takasugi protested, a little offended. "You know this is just no good. Look …she's…" He turned his head to check on Yoshino-san, who was now entertaining a bashful Bansai under the shadow of her parasol. _What?_ No, not him, too! He mustn't let her talk to _**his**_ "Present from Prussia"!! Forgetting about Itou, he dashed over and squeezed himself in between the two. It was extremely bad manners, so he laughed apologetically to conceal the barbs in his words.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Don't you think you're a little too old for him, Auntie?"

The lady's brown eyes flashed hazel, but she merely smothered a giggle with her dainty fingertips and gazed at him through lowered eyelashes as though accepting the challenge. "Who are you calling Auntie, young man? You should call me, _Miss…_" She snuggled closer to Takasugi and toyed with a strand of his unruly hair. Although she wore makeup, wrinkles sneaked up the side of her eyes. "Oh, don't mind these lines of wisdom," She said. "This just means I have lots of wisdom to share with you."

Takasugi-kun cringed, losing his confidence. Her powerful seduction overwhelmed him. Her charisma was so strong he felt like an asteroid drawn into her gravitational field. But at the same time, he was consumed by temptation. What if…? He could suck all _her_ knowledge into himself, to make her power _his..._

Perhaps seeing a youthful reflection of herself in Takasugi-kun's aggressive ways, Yoshino did not take offense, but instead pursed her lips thoughtfully. She was a smart, complicated woman who moved through life like a caged tiger. "You're lucky to be born as a boy." She teased, "But I'll have to wait another hundred years for society to change. And by then I'd be too old to care."

Takasugi clearly sensed Yoshino's maturity, as shown by her own brand of integrity, and the trace of sadness in her voice. He was suddenly reminded of his own mother, a crazy, feisty woman who would throw fits of rage against the system. Although his true feelings for her were ambiguous, he did wish to do what he could to make her life better.

"No, you don't have to wait much longer. I'll change society for you."

Yoshino-san looked stunned. Unconsciously, her cheeks turned a deeper shade of rose, or maybe it was the streak of reddish-gold sunlight that set her parasol ablaze.

"And what can a boy like you do?"

"I will make Shouyou-sensei's dream come true."

"And how will you do that?"

"With my life and my sword. I've dedicated these two to his cause, that goes without saying…but what I really value is _the man_ himself." When he raised his eyes to meet hers, a strange mixture of vulnerability and belief rippled across its surface. Spontaneously, he placed both hands on her shoulders and squeezed. "I want to be like him. I want to live my whole life dedicated to our country, that's what his dream is all about."

Yoshino-san smiled a warm smile that reached all the way to the edge of her eyes. "What a wonderful dream."

Shouyou-sensei....Yoshino was already acquainted with him ten years ago. He was the skinny, dreamy boy with the brilliant mind who backpacked all over Japan, connecting with all kinds of people. The first time they met, Yoshino was Eighteen and at the height of her fame as a courtesan at the licensed quarter of Osaka. She had been attracted by his purity and mischievously forced him to smoke a pipe filled with opium. Surprisingly, his personality remained unchanged, leading her to conclude that he must be high all the time. Since then, her life had been one long protracted fall down the social ladder. All her dreams were shattered. And the same went for Shouyou as well, as far as she knew. But unlike her, he never gave up, and now, after all his persistent hard work, his dreams were about to become reality. Almost like he had divine protection. Almost like it was inevitable.

Inevitable, yes. Enviable? No, not enviable at all.

No, she didn't envy his accomplishments, knowing the price he paid. She didn't envy his passion, knowing the pain it brought. She didn't envy his inspiration, fearing that it would guide her down unfamiliar paths.

"Come on, Itou-kun. Let's be on our way." With a swoop of her parasol, she strode away, deciding that she had enough of social issues for today.

"No! Don't go with her, _sempai!_" Takasugi yelled. ( T/N: senior student )

Itou, who had raised his hand to say goodbye, stiffened.

"Please,_ sempai_! Don't be like this, you're my role model!"

Whether it was flattery or not, Takasugi's plea went straight to Itou's head. He hadn't realized that Takasugi might actually look up to him with love and respect, and he wanted to live up to it. But on the other hand, he had known Yoshino for a much longer time and was far closer to her.

"Stop trying to change my mind, Takasugi-kun. I already told you what I am doing is perfectly acceptable."

Takasugi-kun narrowed his eyes. He remembered Yoshino's tremendous gravitational pull. She made you want to submit to her, to do her bidding, to let her mine the gold from your soul…but how? _If she can do it, then I can do it._ _What have I got to lose, anyway? Itou isn't really my friend. If he gets offended then so be it._

---+

A mop of black hair was buried into his chest, a pair of lean arms was gripping his back, an intense body heat was attracting and repelling him: Takasugi-kun had blocked Itou's way with his body and was hugging him tightly. Shock and confusion showed in Itou's face, he staggered backward a little but did not push him away. He couldn't help feeling déjà vu, as if the scenario he experienced in his dream was now manifested in real life, challenging him to live it out.

-

_When this dream becomes reality, _

_My family curse will be broken._

_-_

B-but surely, it wasn't supposed to happen like this? Of all people, why Takasugi-kun? How could he feel any love for this complete stranger? _But the dream! Don't you want to break your curse? Then do it! _ The pressure made Itou feel unnaturally tense. His emotions were all frozen up again.

_Pretend he's Takehisa! _

_You owe it to him!_

Okay. I'll do it, I'll try. Taking a deep breath, Itou closed his eyes. He could feel the heavy weight of the body leaning against him. Lifting his elbows, he felt his way along the cool surface of the kimono until his arms wrapped around the gently breathing form. His palms began to grow warmer and the other person's hands burned like coals against his ribs. Heck, his whole body felt so uncomfortably hot, as if a current was passing between the two of them. Behind his eyelids, snow was falling, blurring the boundaries of his awareness.

It was highly awkward, but both of them were determined not to break the embrace, as if waiting for something to happen.

Itou was waiting for a sign, while Takasugi, for Itou to submit.

That's it now, he's starting to feel something. A relaxation, a letting go, a sharing, an inner peace, a smile.

-

_I'm whole._

_-_

His hands unconsciously shifted to his upper arms to pull him even closer and tighter together. They were starting to get glued together. There was no breaking, no crying, no jumping around. Just having a warm, comfortable feeling.

_-_

_So this is how it feels like to be normal?_

-

Itou felt like screaming.

"I can't get used to it!"

--+

"Itou-kun~" Yoshino coughed. Lifting his head, Itou noticed her standing nearby, but had maintained a dignified distance out of respect for his privacy.

Takasugi-kun didn't have such dignity. After shooting Itou a stubborn look, he buried his face into his chest (eye-level for him) and clung like a leech. "You can do better than her, Itou-sempai."

Itou shot another look at Yoshino. They went back a long way. Back when Itou was about to fall apart, she built him up. There was no love lost, but their connection was a lot deeper than that of paid dates. In fact, any part of Itou's social abilities was due to her influence. Even for Itou to begin taking the feelings of other people into account was something that Yoshino had to take years of effort to drill into him.

"No." Itou shook his head. "Yoshino-san is an amazing woman in her own right."

"Aww…" Yoshino beamed proudly.

Itou looked at her and smiled. "Yoshino-san is the closest person to me."

"Oh, Itou-kun~" she cooed.

"But our relationship is not going anywhere."

"What?!" Yoshino's eyes widened in surprise and she stretched out her hand.

"Perhaps it is time for a change."

" _Now just a minute, young man."_

"Our association is starting to hold me back."

"What?! Itou-kun...what about our promise?"

"I'm sorry, Yoshino-san," he said in a soothing voice, "Please spare me. I'll contact you again when I'm free."

"Oh…My…Gosh…" she said breathlessly, with dawning realization of the crisis.

"Okay, Takasugi-kun, I won't go with her."

"Yey!" He seized Itou's wrist, seeking to remove him physically from Yoshino's gravitational field. He said the first thing that came to his head. "Come with us, take us to the Sakuranya."

---+

"Stop right there, Itou-kun. We've known each other for Three years. We've shared the same bed, the same food, the same…yes, we even shared our dreams. Or have you forgotten? And now will you choose a stranger you just met over our long friendship?"

"Ha!" Itou's face suddenly turned ugly and distorted. "What friendship?"

Disturbed, Takasugi-kun moved away from him and uncomfortably folded his arms. He and Yoshino exchanged a look of mutual understanding, they had both gained an unpleasant insight into Itou's personality.

"It was purely business, a physical exchange." Itou continued icily.

Yoshino-san shook her head, and slowly approached the two boys with an intense aura. If there was one thing she knew for sure, it was this. She lifted Itou's chin with her index finger. "I gave you my trust, Itou-kun."

"…"

"And you gave me yours…or didn't you? "

"I…"

"Ah-ah—" She stopped Itou's reply by placing her finger on his lips. "You don't have to give me an answer," her pink lips curved mysteriously. "Just think about it."

Then she held his cheeks with both hands and kissed him on the mouth. Passersby stopped in their tracks to gape at the vulgar display of affection and Yoshino, a natural born actress, did not disappoint. Her parasol dropped to the ground, where it rolled over to Bansai's feet. He picked it up and held it patiently over her head.

"Thank you, young man." She whispered as her fingers wrapped around the handle. Her eyes were a little moist. Then she bent close to Bansai's ear and whispered "My fault for choosing the wrong pet. You would have made a much better one." Then she pinched his nose and winked, as if her spirits were restored.

"Fine, fine." She threw her hands in the air with mock exasperation, covering up her inner agitation. "Whatever, man." She ranted inside her head. "_Itou's a bitch!_ _**F#0(- this s***!**_ Dammit, I should've bought a puppy as my husband suggested! _**F#0(-! **_Still, here I am in Kabuki-cho, aren't I? This is the meat market of Edo, ain't it? So let's go get myself some "retail therapy," shall we? What the hell is a "Paid Date" anyways? Just a fucking euphemism, is what it is, the reality hurts like mad! _**F#0(-(-(-(-(-!!!!"**_

On the surface, though, she was taking her defeat like a good sport, she chuckled and tousled the hair of her small-sized opponent. She turned briskly toward Itou. "Well, Itou-kun, it was fun knowing you. You're not as much of a geek as I thought you were. I hope you'll find true love one day."

"And you too," she pointed a dainty fingertip at Takasugi, then smiled at her own hypocrisy.

But Takasugi's eyes were bright with admiration.

"And you too, Yoshino-san."

---+

"Goodbye, _arigato, sayonara co-habito-yo~_ " (T/N: Thank you and goodbye my lover) So saying, she sauntered leisurely back into the crowd, almost immediately a young man of Itou's age tagged along and tugged at her sleeve.

"Hey beautiful, do you know the time? Because my watch is broken."

Her eagle eyes homed in on the crest of his school uniform. Disappointed that it belonged to a less-than-elite high school, she tossed her dark hair and closed her thick lashes. "The time is…_no time_ for you."

"Aww…don't break my heart, fox, let's be friends ~~~" he whined.

"…no!"

"Come with me, I know a place we can just chat, I promise you I won't do anything…"

"… no!"

Itou and Takasugi looked at each other, eyebrows raised. As for Bansai, he was contented as long he got his steady supply of interesting sounds, _"Let's be friends~~~"_ he parroted.

"Please?" The student persisted, "I'll buy you ice-cream…"

"…_aisukuri-mu …" _Bansai mimicked.

Frustrated, the lady squeezed her fists, "…no thank you!!"

"…_shankyu…"_

"_**F#0(-(-(-(-(---- off !!"**_ Yoshino yelled at the top of her lungs.

"…_???..."_

Bansai tilted his chin upwards to look questioningly at the taller student.

"Um…" coughed Itou, embarrassed. He bent closer toward the shorter boy and wagged his index finger, whispering seriously. "Chome-chome. She said…chome-chome."

"_Chome-chome?……chome-chome…?" _Bansai repeated audibly. Wow, this was by far the cutest sound he has ever heard in his entire life!_"……chome-chome… chome-chome…" It's so addictive, I can't get it out of my mind!_ _Thanks buddy~ I'm taking this!_

---+

The invisible glue connecting the crowd started to push the trio forward. Takasugi-kun could feel sweat streaming down his forehead, arms and legs from the tension. Running ahead to feel the breeze, he was delighted by the chaotic flapping of his kimono against his body. He luxuriated in the sensation of his heels striking the pavement, so vibrant as if he were strutting. From time to time, the rays of the evening sun would glance across the side of his iris, creating scintillating moments similar to looking through panes of glass. His ego was euphoric. He loved how Bansai and Itou were drawn into his orbit, as if heaven-sent. There was no reason why they should exist; there was no reason why he should feel so happy.

"Let's go!" He shouted, pausing to turn and wave at them.

-

_Or perhaps this is all a dream…_

_Nothing is as glamorous as it seems…_

_Least of all, sessha…( T/N: clumsy me )_

_How can I tell what is real or fake?_

_All because of you, Shouyou-sensei…_

_ I love you..._

_-  
_

Itou and Bansai noticed Takasugi blushing and smiling to himself, lost in his own world. They nodded tolerantly to each other, looking as though they were wise old men. Itou put a hand on Bansai's shoulder and together they stepped across the bridge of dreams, ahem, Harajuku Bridge.

The bakemono ( T/N: monsters; transforming things ) kites above the Azabu Arts District soared higher and higher.

_Hai!_

_To be continued…_

---+

A/N: Hi~ xD Anyways for this chp, was the part where Itou "broke his curse" convincing? Or just doesn't make sense? XD I wasn't very happy with what I wrote, I feel something is missing, but I can't think of anything else so here goes.

What is your impression? Comments are welcomed...plz! :P

Next up: Nizou(24) vs Taka(13). Warning: Nizou will behave like a creep. :P Henpeita and Matako show up. So I'll finish off with the members of the Kiheitai and get back to the original duo, TakaZura for the finish.


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